Or shall I maintain the current sober, conservative tone, which appeals to the traditionalists?

Luckily, I have a thing for poor deformed creatures like yourself. I realize that beauty is only skin deep but ugliness goes down to the marrow. I'm sure if I keep rubbing, fondling, groping and oiling, we can get you into presentable shape in forty or fifty years.

And don't forget to construct your humiliation in the form of a question as in you want me to put what, where?

Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery on May 5th in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York.
This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost.

The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was so great that they declared a National Day of Mourning, which they still observe to this day.
The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known, of course, as Sinko De Mayo.

Krupa, if you've been blinded by it, you've been too close to your work, pal.

I thought this thread was about bras. Those bobbies are so cute and nice and don't deserve to be trapped in those constricting contraptions. Oh, sorry phucque, I mis read but you got some cuties, too. Don't let anyone trap them suckers.

You had no idea that the two of you didn't go to church together, ever? You didn't notice the civil ceremony? Many are are socially religious as in going to church as a social or community event while many are non-practicing. Many are questioning but few are atheists. How can you not discuss politics, religion and sexual acrobatics?

Your ex may have been a devout turkey rather than a run of the mill Atheist. Even Atheists who aren't recruiting, recognize there is a gift-giving, chestnut eating holiday at the end of December, just before New Year's orgies and that it is the custom in the non primitive world to over spend, over eat and find a reason to place packages under a dead tree rotting in one's house.

There may or may not be Atheists in foxhoes but there are no jackasses that won't have a smile come to their face with a Yule Tide BJ.

I once offerred to sleep on the wet spot. (She didn't know I was conning her)

I tear up at pre nups.

Not necessarily but they almost always will end one.

During the Summer, in the evenings and weekends, each and every time I play tennis.

It sure beatgs her going from a 34C to a 44 long!

God has nothing to do with it. Family and peer pressure have everything to do with it.

I gave up my body. Several times. A night!

No. Is he still doing work for Snap-On?

"Rat-Bastard, Scum-Sucker!" It's my professional nick name. I'm a lawyer.

Me and Goldilocks like em, "just right!"

Take your best shot at my profile. I am shy and haven't figured out what to say, yet.