Ouch Medo! Was that necessary?

Karma's a b*tch, ya know. Be nice.

I'm not saying you shouldn't be dating. You TOTALLY SHOULD! Have a blast with it!! But... I guess I associate dating sites with people looking for a long-term, serious relationship in situations where it may not be convenient/ideal.

So, maybe I'm wrong, but you being so quick-to-temper isn't really going to help your cause, is it?

Well thank you for clarifying.

One thing you can learn (medo05), is that you will change a lot between now, and say, 30.

Julie, If the term "kid" bothers you, you're really focusing too much on semantics. Physiologically speaking, parts of your brain (important parts at that) are still not completely developed yet.

This is a topic for discussion that I'm sort of boggled by, no need for offense.

Don't buy it.

They seek socialization. So go OUT OF YOUR MOM'S HOUSE and socialize. The times are changing in the worst way possible.

Have goals! Go be amazing!

I have baggage, including a wack-job ex-husband, a gazillion dollars in student loans, PTA drama, and like, responsibilities, dude.

One thing:

Interracial couples have the most beautiful babies!! (Black and Asian: OMG)

Ok. No in all seriousness, I agree with folks saying that it may at least partially depend on where you are. PERSONALLY, I've been on dates with men of all sorts of races, but only seriously DATED (i.e. had a relationship) with white guys. I'm a mixed 'breed' myself, but my cultural background was never passed down. I don't know if my lack of a real ingrained 'ethnic' culture has me seek more like-minded folk. But when I date black guys, or Mexicans, I just don't feel like I can relate. There's really just no connection.

You're 18 (or 19 or 20...) and you're still a CHILD. Okay, legally/technically you're an adult. But realistically, you still have so much growing up to do. You're not yet the person you will one day blossom into. Serious relationships are for the birds at your age. You don't need to be weighed down by feeling some unnecessary obligation towards another human being. WHY ARE YOU ON A DATING SITE?

You have only just graduated from High School... (go to college). You must still have friends there. Go get a part-time job and do some traveling (no time like the present- it gets harder as you get older).

I'm asking honestly: what is the purpose/situation where someone your age feels like a dating site has anything you may want?

Also, stop messaging me. You're closer to my kid's age than mine. And that's just creepy.

Vodka tonic.

Or if I'm pretending to be classy and eating a fabulous steak, merlot.

What Dreams May Come.

SOBBING THE ENTIRE DAMN MOVIE.

I don't think debate = arguing. It never needs to be combative, but that is exactly my point. People can't delineate between the two, so our disagreements/misunderstandings continue to isolate each side more drastically.

Case in point = politics. We all do have a common thread, as Americans (for those who are, obv), we want the best for the country, our children, and our tax dollars. But we are so busy calling people "libtards" or (insert anti-conservative name here), that the anger gets in the way of progress.

Seriously, proper debate should be a required course in grade school.

We find strength in society by embracing our differences and finding appropriate ways to communicate- not running from it.

This entire thread, is why I'm still single.

I think I judge the super-good looking men as vacant, unintelligent jocks. They don't interest me at all.

My last boyfriend, I fell in love with over a period of about a year- he was NOT attractive to me when we met, but the more I learned about him, I grew to appreciate him and care for him. All of his so-called flaws (former Rugby player-- his face was literally broken), became endearing stories about his life. He BECAME attractive to me. But only after falling in love with his character.

Too bad his conflict management skills were that of a teenage girl.

I get rather annoyed when a man displays (in any way) that my value to him is physical attraction. Eff that. That's purely subjective and unworthy of praise. I want someone who finds our time together stimulating (and I them), and, that comes over a long period of time. Not a single date.

I think its terribly creepy for men to 'come onto' me.

"Hey Beautiful..."
"Hey Baby..."

You're just a horny stranger. I want none of it.

Also, try meetup.com. they usually have get togethers with like-minded folks in your area. Bonus: you will immediately have SOMETHING in common.

Hmm... thanks guys... I feel... so... popular (?)

Honestly, I don't know how to feel about all of this...

I do tend toward the Irish- then again, I AM still single, sooooooo...

Also, I'm a divorcee with a kid. And a vet. Honestly, I'm not sure what i have in common with someone very young. I like the older guys... not OLD, but older than me.

:-(

One of my favorites... but i haven't been able to watch it in a long time. We don't get the US TV in Korea.

Sometimes Hulu and Netflix works, but, maybe not much longer.

"Sad kitty..."

'Sumone'
'Gurls'

Are these intentional misspellings or are you trying to be cute?

Women like intelligent men. Spellcheck is your friend.

I'm sure that there are a lot of men who enjoy a good healthy debate...

But I also agree that many men probably don't like debates with the s/o. Also perhaps true that some of us women don't always fight fair.

Yo.

I really wish that everyone could learn how to communicate instead of throw around insults. We don't have to be exactly the same; our differences from one another is what makes us beautiful. I have no desire to be friends with a carbon copy of myself, I want to learn about others and their experiences/perspectives. How they became who they are. It's intriguing.

I watched a TED talk recently about taking your opposite to lunch (I'm sadly addicted to the TED talks- some of them are a little silly, but many are really insightful, thought-provoking, or even inspiring).

Taking your opposite to lunch means that you earnestly put forth effort, in a friendly, non-combative/aggressive forum, to understand a person who may disagree with you on a social issue. It's an Atheist taking a devout Christian out. Or a far-left Democrat taking a far-right republican out. Instead of seeing them as a 'damn hippy' or 'religious nutjob', you see their humanity. You see them laugh, you learn what may have recently made them cry. You take them out of the label that you've assigned them and give them a right to be a human being, who just happens to believe something that you may not.

It's empowering... because... knowledge is power right (har har).

The unfortunate part, is that people can't (or don't want to) empathize. The other unfortunate part, is that we don't know how to debate effectively or respectively. I have a colleague who repeatedly comes into my office and just inserts his foot directly into his mouth. I can't even talk to him about anything relevant. With him, we could take a logical fallacy poster and play a drinking game. I'd last MAYBE 10 minutes.

Have enough respect/regard for not only the person you're debating with, but for your own cause; to be the best representative of it as possible. It benefits both parties.

My problem, is that I may be too much into empathy. Damn commercials have me in tears. I can debate a topic all day, but the frustration comes when people can't argue their own side. I REALLY want them to.

That's wonderful. I'm happy for you.

I tend to be really sarcastic. You know how you sometimes walk away from a conversation and think of a fantastic comeback, when it's too late? I never do. I always think of it right in time.

It's not always a very endearing quality, but sometimes...

I need to find a guy that matches my wit and (sometimes inappropriate) sarcasm. Otherwise, I'll just piss him off.

Bahahahaha!! I live my life according to rules... MY rules. I've also seen really good (well-meaning) guys get shot down.

What can I say, I'm a giver. ;-)

Laughing/jokes are great! But, it's good to make sure that you're actually hitting the jokes right and have a natural knack for it. I've been approached by men who like to 'fake it till you make it' as far as comedy is concerned. Just makes me feel bad for them.

Awkward...

I'm an observer and a realist. I've paid close attention to what works, and what does not. I've been approached, and from that either immediately felt intrigued or completely turned off. I've also been the 'wing-woman' for my male friends... (side note: you want one).

I'm also a woman, so my perspective is at least relevant.

DO NOT approach a woman and tell her any predictable, boring compliment on any physical characteristic. We are not that shallow. We have either heard it a THOUSAND times, or you come off as desperate and horny.

DO smile nicely and say hello. Interject yourself (ahem, politely) into the conversation, if she's with a group, then introduce yourself. Learn how to read body language: there will be pretty obvious clues if you're *not* a welcome addition. If you get any ANY negative vibes, quietly remove yourself- DO NOT LINGER. (*creepy).

DO NOT interrogate, or smother her. You are a stranger. Do not call her 'baby' or 'honey' or 'sweety'--- or any variety of what could be considered a pet name. Again, you are a stranger.

DO Talk about something superficial. If the game is on, ask if she likes sports (segway into fav teams, etc). Ask what she is drinking, or if she's a local. Easy, noncommittal (and non threatening) questions.

DO NOT ask any personal questions (phone number, address, last name). If you can be respectful and are patient, that will come in time. No one likes a beggar- you'll look desperate (not cute).

BE CAUTIOUS when talking about weapons. That is threatening on an initial meeting (yeah, it's happened to me, and I'm relatively cool with guns). Show your interest but remain humble.

FINALLY just relax, be yourself. If she is into you, you'll know. If not, it wasn't meant to be.

Ladies, have I missed anything?

Too bad most of those glorified 'study groups' are so corrupt. Otherwise, we wouldn't be having this debate.