Not online due to stealth mode feature which was free is now part of payment to upgrade. (Private message to you from other places, I have met a lot of you BUT have yet to meet someone I feel is anything close to a normal/well adjusted/mature individual who is actually looking to date.) Our privacy, should be the most important aspect of the interaction(s)and no one else's. The kinds of men I prefer to date for more long term (6 months+)are those who have a degree, white collar professionals, who have some life experience. You are for pure relaxation, pleasure and enjoyment. Please don't put your job and career as an obstacle to getting to know each other, selfishness is not a good trait...it creates divisions and difficulties that do not need to exist. I've got stamina for the right kinds of men and I work towards a continued enjoyment, relaxation and pleasure of each someone special; stimulating on so many levels. But again, if you choose to put obstacles in our way and choose to put yourself first, expect me to do that also, your needs are no greater than mine. ~*~ Tactical ignoring, is abuse. Neglect, is abuse. Unrealistic expectations of others while calling yourself a 'perfectionist' and expecting that from a possible new partner, is abuse. If you expect patience and understanding but do not give any yourself, that is immaturity. I will always prefer a man without pretentiousness because neither have I. We don't play games, we know when we're attracted to each other and we don't jeopardise that; those are the connections that are the most enjoyable. If you don't know what you want, I probably won't want to get to know you. If you don't use contraception then you are immature, regardless of medical conditions. ~*~ Those of us with flexible boundaries create the fertile ground in which the willingness to share ourselves grows, the deeper understanding of the ebb and flow. Be irresistible, be the 'ocean' in which I am invited to freely play...nature has its own way. It's always lovely when we 'click', disappointing when we don't. I avoid contrived, false, juvenile, infantile, jealous and envious males and females; because those who have too much time on their hands become a nuisance to others and to themselves. ~*~ A question for you: Where are you in your own personal evolution? I'm still evolving but some seem to have stagnated. I'm a sociable creature but don't expect an 'air head'. If we can't hold a serious conversation then we're not compatible. I also make it a point to avoid those who cause conflict; hence my dislike for those who hold negative 'isms' we're living in the 21st Century. Also those of whom are immature, negative, bitter people, online and as much as is possible in life, and enjoy my successes, daily. In the right hands, minds and destinations...I always come alive. I'm me, not you. Your interests shouldn't include the pub/fanatical football supporter and/or playing computer games, this will continue. You know who you are. Yes, I wear high heels, dresses, perfume and make-up, I also wear jeans, T-shirts and boots because I don't dress for you, I dress for me. If a compliment is uttered from your lips in a genuine manner, I will always graciously accept it in the manner it is meant because I compliment also. ~*~ I'm naturally receptive to warm, emotionally available and mature, charming, intelligent, sensuous, serious, men who are eloquent, articulate, calm, conscientious, have an intelligent sense of humour and are dedicated lovers that, like myself, are private. We're not looking for 'love', marriage, flings and/or generic 'fun'. I don't have anything to prove, I like myself the way I am and I'm comfortable in my own skin. I'm interested in something with substance and some longevity; which is relative, encapsulated in the dedicated lover. ~*~ I'm a whole person and expect you to be also because our time together should be special and personal. I'm patient but it isn't limitless, I'm calmly spoken (but vibrant when debating and discussing serious issues) see the fire behind my eyes when I question the validity of what is and what should be, based on outdated thinking and acceptance versus the reality. Your words are just words, your actions speak far louder. I don't encourage emotionally needy (e.g. clingy) people because my emotional needs are equally important. ~*~ Age doesn't indicate maturity but it helps, looks are individual, wisdom comes with experience and desperation is losing your integrity and dignity. I will tell you exactly what I think of you when you chose to be remedial, evasive, a hypocrite. So please don't pretend, it gets noticed quickly and I am more than a little disappointed. * The deliberate baiter aka a TROLL is unfortunately going to get found out, I've seen it happen in the forums, it was good to know someone else saw it too, vocalised it in the forum, eloquently and logically, he didn't back down either, I could give him a virtual kiss for that. *nods to the guy in the forum. I can get angry just like the next person but my anger is based on reason rather than irrationality. Know your boundaries, they should be clear, ambiguity is confusing and leads to my complete 'switch off' not because I don't like you but because you chose to be ambiguous and couldn't be clear. That behaviour is for those with very limited life experience, those without a wide variety of interests, not for the over 40's. If your boundaries are too rigid, I don't see the point of us messaging each other, my boundaries are flexible, it comes with maturity and experience. ~*~ I'm 49, have experienced some very upsetting and unsettling situations created by those of a level of immaturity, that doesn't befit their age nor privilege. I freely and openly mention it to potential lovers, I do not con or connive. Honesty comes first, if you aren't then we are at a basic level and I don't have the time to instruct you. I find myself affronted when individuals use language designed to negate and stifle my natural feminine curiosity, when expressed in its written and verbal forms. The physical expression is between us. Your interpretation, anger and negativity are not my responsibility, they are yours. I have a huge smile, laugh frequently but not at the idiotic and prefer not to trouble myself with people who are petty or wilfully ignorant, even when they deliberately intrude or try to bait. The 'baiting' is always riotously funny to see and hear. The lack of common sense is incredible. ~*~ I'm strongly attracted to these men's examples; they stand out amongst many, Javier Bardem, Antonio Banderas and Viggo Mortensen; beautiful men both on the inside and the outside. The photograph of Mike Oldfield is one of the most beautiful faces I have seen; I have this as a black and white print on my wall, an extremely talented musician, singer/song writer. I hope someone like him is on this site, Oh and the extremely talented, very witty Laurence Llewlyn-Bowen. 'Hello' to those in 'stealth mode' and to everyone else, 'Thank you' for viewing. ~*~ My heart is like a combination lock, find the right combination and the valuable is inside. I won't waste your time so please don't waste mine. (Note to self ~ 25/02/2014)