ME: I am itchy, dreamy, and antisocial. I am confident, alert, and outgoing. I am the cat that snuggles your leg and runs when you reach for it. The news depresses me. What is hip? Who is dead? I don't care. I cannot be what I am not. I love cheese. I can't get no satisfaction. Technology will kill or save me one day. Quotes from a horror movie: "Dog will hunt." &; "Music is my life!" I am a registered voter. I am invincible. I have, in my lifetime, looked for love in all the wrong places. For instance, my backyard. Needless to say it wasn't there. I don't know who I am. I know who I am not and I am not done. HER: She is dissatisfied. She has a world to conquer. She has less than 150 pairs of shoes. She will tell me that I'm wrong. She will not sleep with me until she is ready. She will not beat her children. She smells nice. Her mother loves me. I do not own her. She has no curfew. She showers at least 4 times a week. She loves cheese. She owns a book that she has read. She is there when I need her. She is never done and knows when to stop.