ABSOLUTELY NO SCAMMERS !
YOU JUST ARE ANNOYING ! :)
SCAMMING IS A NO NO HERE
DON'T BE A BAD GIRL
all others feel free to contact me ;)
first! foto updated!
my eyes have a beautiful bluegreen color for you to look deep into me with confidence ! if you look close enough u can see my eyes smile ;) always in a good mood and ready for a good laughter ! and i have romantic valleys....
my perfect partner:
after the first date staying together the rest of our lifes !
btw: the interests field doesn't fit all my tags so i left the naughty ones out ;)
and now to something completely different :)
My next life !
You start out dead and get that out of the way
right off the bat.
Then, you wake up in a nursing home feeling better
every day.
When you are kicked out of the home for being too
healthy, you spend several years enjoying your
retirement and collecting benefit checks.
When you start work, you get a gold watch on your
first day.
You work 40 years or so, getting younger every day
until pretty soon you're too young to work.
So then, you go to college: play sports, date,
drink, and party.
After that you're at high school, become very popular because you are so mature, are an excellent athlete after your experience in college, and the first love is not your first, so you know how to handle yourself.
As you get even younger, you become a kid again.
You go to elementary school, play, and have no
responsibilities.
In a few years, you become a baby and everyone
runs themselves ragged keeping you happy.
You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully
in luxury, spa-like conditions: central heating,
room service on tap.
Until finally...You finish off as an orgasm.
and now,
Signs You Drink Too Much Coffee
- You answer the door before people knock.
- Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.
- You ski uphill.
- You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
- You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
- You lick your coffeepot clean.
- You're the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don't even work there.
- Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
- You chew on other people's fingernails.
- Your T-shirt says, "Decaffeinated coffee is the devil's blend."
- You can type sixty words per minute ... with your feet.
- You can jump-start your car without cables.
- Cocaine is a downer.
- You don't need a hammer to pound nails.
- Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low."
- You don't sweat, you percolate.
- You buy 1/2 & 1/2 by the barrel.
- You've worn out the handle on your favorite mug.
- You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
- You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.
- You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
- Charles Manson thinks you need to calm down.
- You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
- People get dizzy just watching you.
- You've worn the finish off your coffee table.
- The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you.
- Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.
- Your taste buds are so numb you could drink your lava lamp.
- Instant coffee takes too long.
- When someone says. "How are you?", you say, "Good to the last drop."
- You want to be cremated just so you can spend the rest of eternity in a coffee can.
- Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.
- You're offended when people use the word "brew" to mean beer.
- You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
- You can thread a sewing machine, while it's running.
- You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
- You short out motion detectors.
- You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
- Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.
- You think being called a "drip" is a compliment.
- You don't tan, you roast.
- You can't even remember your second cup.
- You help your dog chase its tail.
this one is nice
LOVE - When your eyes meet across a crowded room.
LUST - When your tongues meet across a crowded room.
MARRIAGE - When you try to lose your spouse in a crowded room.
LOVE - When intercourse is called "making love."'
LUST - When intercourse is called "screwing."
MARRIAGE - When intercourse is a town in Pennsylvania.
LOVE - When you argue over how many children to have.
LUST - When you argue over who gets the wet spot.
MARRIAGE - When you argue over whose idea it was to have kids.
LOVE - When you share everything you own.
LUST - When you steal everything they own.
MARRIAGE - When the bank owns everything.
LOVE - When it doesn't matter if you don't climax.
LUST - When the relationship is over if you don't climax.
MARRIAGE - When ... uh ... what's a climax?
LOVE - When you phone each other just to say, "Hi."
LUST - When you phone each other to pick a hotel room.
MARRIAGE - When you phone each other to ***** about work.
LOVE - When you write poems about your partner.
LUST - When all you write is your phone number.
MARRIAGE - When all you write is checks.
LOVE - When your only concern is for your partner's feelings.
LUST -When your only concern is to find a room with mirrors all around
MARRIAGE - When you're only concern as to what's on TV.
LOVE - When you are proud to be seen in public with your partner.
LUST - When you only see each other .
MARRIAGE - When you never see each other awake.
and now for the german speaking
Hallo ich bin Single...tja das Leben und seine Kapriolen...Ich mag
die Natur, die Sonne, am See baden und grillen. Eigentlich bin ich
humorvoll und lache sehr gerne. Ich suche eine humorvollen und geduldigen
sie .Hast du Lust auf eine Freundschaft mit einer prise Erotik? Zusammen
ausgehen, einen TVDVD abend, ein Glas Wein ein gutes Gespräch oder einen
Sonntagmorgen im Bett verbringen? Eine Partnerschaft bedeutet für mich,
d ich für Dich da bin, wenn Du mich brauchst und d ich Dich in Ruhe
le, wenn Du Zeit für Dich benötigst. Du würdest gerne mit mir und
zwischendurch auch über mich lachen (Gründe dafür hast Du sicher genug). Du
willst von mir verwöhnt und geliebt werden. Du
liebst meine ab und zu etwas verrückten Ideen und lässt Dich gerne
überraschen..... ja und dann willst Du mir blind vertrauen und dich auf
mich verlen können. Du brauchst das Gefühl, d Du der wichtigste Mensch
in meinem Leben bist? Eine zärtliche Berührung, ein liebevoller Blick und
kleine Gesten die Dir sagen ich liebe Dich gehören für Dich zum Alltag?
Du sagst zu alldem ja und bist bereit, dies nicht nur zu nehmen, sondern
auch zu geben? Dann schreib mir !
Profession: counselor