A major research insution (MRI) has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest chemical element yet known to science. The new element has been tentatively named Governmentium.
Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 istant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 istant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic m of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quanies of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be
detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A
minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would normally take less than a second.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of three years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the istant
neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's m will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause
some morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate
that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quany in concentration. This hypothetical quany is referred to as Critical Mor.
Note:
There is also the recycle property where previously inert neutrons will
separate from active interaction within Governmentium before they transform into isodopes. However, the laws of attraction will bring these retired neutrons back as contractorons. Contractorons are active particles which perform actual, although minimally measured, work of Governmentium.
Profession: Cabinetmaker/trim carpenter