**Testimonial** ⭐☆☆☆☆ (Would probably interact again.) "I don't know how to explain this person. Every decision they make feels like it was arrived at by spinning a compass over a philosophy textbook and then stopping for tacos. I tried to stay away. I really did. Then they said something strangely insightful, followed immediately by the dumbest joke I've heard all year. I laughed. I hated that I laughed. They're the kind of person who can spend twenty minutes explaining a completely useless fact with the confidence of a university professor, and somehow you walk away thinking, '...Well, now I need to know more.' I've blocked them twice. I've also unblocked them twice. I tell my friends they're insufferable. Then I accidentally quote them in conversations. They have the energy of a mysterious forest cryptid who pays their taxes on time. Would I recommend them? No. Would I notice if they disappeared? Unfortunately... yes. I've begun seeing them in coincidences. Every oddly specific meme. Every shopping cart with one squeaky wheel. Every crow that stares a little too long. If you meet them, leave immediately. ...Or don't. Misery enjoys interesting company."