i'm not much of a drinker.. actually i shouldn't drink at all, but i
ocassionally do

CHEATING IS CHEATING

WELL SLUGGEE, THIS WILL INLIGHTEN YOU , WELL IF I CAN EVEN SAY IT RIGHT
HERE?
I grew in the worst as a child, I started cooking for my self at 8 years
old, my dad was a drunk who was also abusive both mental and physical.
Now, IF I HAD NOT SEEN AND LIVED "THAT" LIFE?????

I WOULD NOT HAVE APPLIED MYSELF TO RAISING MY OWN CHILDREN W/O
THEM BEING IN THEIR LIFE!!!!!NO DRUNK HERE, AND NO ABUSE HERE!!

SO TO SAY WOULD THE KIDS REALLY BE BETTER OUT OF THAT RELATIONSHIP???

tHAT WOULD BE HARD TO DETERMIN, because all children WILL grow-up BETTER
if they have both parents alaways there and involved with their
lives!!!!

So I think it would all come down to the "DEGREE" of problems the couple
was having!!!!

Because "ANY" BREAK-UP, will always change the KIDS in some MANNER!!!

If the parents are fussing and fighting and there is volence involved,
then by all means, the parents need to get a divorce...but it is,
always good, if the family can go into councling rather than divorce
court, which is not, always, possible, because one or both parents
refuse help.

Cheating comes in several forms tho. You can still be having an affair
on your spouse without actually involving someone else.
Anything that you consistently do that totally ignores your spouse's
needs is cheating. Whether it's drinking, watching TV, playing video
games, sitting at the puter, whatever. If it's something you'd rather do
than spend time with your supposed loved one it's still an affair.

I have noticed tho that when other ppl are involved, men and women
generally cheat for different reasons. Generally, men cheat cuz they
ain't getting enough nookie at home.
Women generally cheat because they're not having their emotional needs
fulfilled at home.
And before anyone jumps on that comment, remember I didn't say ALL I
said GENERALLY LOL.

So true. Cheating is cheating married or not. And its never ok for the
kids to pay for the parents unhappiness.
Been there done that went through it with my parents.

Cheating is cheating.
if it happens, its time to move on.

Cheating is a ****ty, cowardly thing to do. Takes a lot more balls to
just be honest and terminate the marriage. I also believe a lot of
people like to have their cake and eat it too. A spouse for security and
a little something on the side for ****s and giggles. It is so damned
selfish. It is so self-centered to put a spouse and children through
that kind of crap. Why not do the responsible thing and get out before
screwing around?

because as you said lily that would be the right and responsible thing
to do. now they just try to make the other parent look bad.

See, this is why I am waiting till my divorce is final before I date. I
don't want my children to think that its ok to cheat.

What we do and how we act infront of our children gets noticed. And I
believe in showing them the respect I believe I should get from them.

T

well t i think thats great, i also did the same thing(not because i'm a
saint)but because it is what i believe. i hope in the future our 2 girls
will see that there dad was not the problem.

Sorry Slow, I don't think it should be about "Who was the problem" the
kids should just know that it wasn't meant to be and you both tried your
best (not having the parents stab each other behind the back
constantly)...sounds like you've got a good start though, good luck

well sluggo as it never starts out as there problem the kids can become
pawns in that mess. so they are put in a spot as to who to choose. sadly
more parents than not do it.

I hear you probably one of the reason's I've never been married....sorry
dude....

I believe, both people, in a marriage should remain faithful to each
other, no matter what...there is just NO excuse for screwing around,
PERIOD...If you want someone else, then you need to get a
divorce...PERIOD. My dead husband of 10 years was very very jealous
WITHOUT A CAUSE....That was HIS problem and I did not make it MY PROBLEM
by, really, cheating on him...I looked at it like I was faithful to, not
JUST HIM, but God, as well...and since he died, I am so happy that I
NEVER cheated on him.

not that way here sluggo, don't ask i just refused to let it happen.
something someone said to me a long time ago..........why stoop to there
level

good for you angel, i was accused of it before we were even
married....................should have seen it then but i was young.

angel can i get that pic on a shirt...............lol

Well I was married for 11 years when we split it was due to him cheating
I never did don't believe in it at all and would never do it to someone
else. Funny thing is when they come back and say well they did not mean
anything to me I Love You. Please don't leave me I heard that for 2
years even after we split up. Our kids were 7 & 9 sorry I don't believe
in staying in a marriage either for the kids sake to me all that does is
make it worse on the kids all the fighting and stuff that is not worth
it and it causes the kids even more problems. My kids did not know for a
long time why yeah I had some problems mainly with my son its hard on a
boy without there dad but that was there dad's fault he thought he
wanted to party instead of spend the time with his kids. I told him he
could pick them up anytime he wanted too but naw the liqour meant more
to him. Matter of fact as far as dating myself lol heck when I dated
someone I dated them 2-3 months before they ever got to meet my kids did
not want guys in and out of there lifes and also never lived with
anyone the whole time. lol Humm had made the choice not to re-marry
until my kids were grown I had the step-mom thingy and it was not pretty
figure no matter how big of an ASS I thought there Dad was he was still
there Dad and if he did not act like one that was his choice not mine he
could not blame me for not seeing his kids at any time. Now my kids are
22 daughter & son 24. Daughter has a full time job and goes to college
full time and subs teaching and has a great b/f that works 2 jobs as a
Fireman. Son does machine work and has a beautiful little girl that will
be 4 tomorrow. We have had our rough times no doubt but.... would give
up what ever I had to and would do it all over again lol. Okay there is
a book for ya to read lmao

Anywho getting Married is a two way street with out honesty and trust
you have nothing.

Hey Dream, one thing I've noticed is that those that accuse without
cause, their spouse or partner of cheating are doing it cuz they
themselves have a guilty conscience. They accuse you in the hopes it
will make THEM feel better cuz in their mind it's now justified. Like
they say, tell yourself the same lie over and over and soon you begin to
believe it as the truth.