Trojan Condom Company

69 slippery Root Drive

Rootrouser, NC 22269



Dear Ken,

We regret to inform you that we have rejected your application to model and represent our product, Trojan Condoms.

Although your general appearance is not displeasing, our board of directors feels that your wearing of our product does not portray a positive romantic image of our product. A loose, baggy, wrinkled condom is NOT considered romantic.

We did admire your efforts to firm it up by using Poly-Grip, but even then it slipped off before we could get the photographs taken. We would like to note, however, that we have never seen a penis that looked like a bicycle grip until now.

We appreciate your interest and thank you for your time. We will retain your application for future consideration if, by chance, we decide that there is a market for Micro-Mini Condoms.

We send our greetings and our deepest sympathy to your wife and/or girlfriend.



Yours very truly,

Burly ****, President

Trojan Condom Company



PS: Remember our slogan:

Cover your stump before you hump;

Don’t be silly, cover your willy;

Before you attack her, cover your whacker;

If you’re not going to sack it, GO HOME AND WHACK IT!

good one...lol