For some of us guys, you just need to stand back & let us work it out. Been there. Hopefully he will learn that people can care about eachother w/o the control of living together & having him do all the driving/control. I had to learn it & many of my brothers need to also. Give him space, let him know you are there; if he needs; but it HAS to be ON YOUR TERMS. You can be friends w/o the reationship & he needs to realize that. Good luck.

so he asked you to marry him AND move in??? then he gets all evil on you? be glad he did it now and not after you got married! lose the bum and give your love to someone that will cherrish you

I ended a long term, abusive , hurtful, , dead end relationship that had been going on and off for 8 years....i've been through alot of hurt, pain, living a lie, didn't want to belive it, people preaching to me telling me how wrong the relationship was and i just didn't want to believe it,....why...security, thought i loved him, thought he would change.........boy was i wrong.......it all finally hit me like a ton of bricks....i finally realized the truth.........i'm more than that...i deserve so much better, so much more happiness, and love and i here i am........happier, stronger and wiser

One never stops caring, it's only time and the Lord that helps us to get over the pain of loving...

i'm fine now. i got tired of letting him blame me and taking the blame for his problems. i will be here if he needs a friend but i now know what's up

Glad to hear it.. One should not blame other's for their own mistakes, I am glad you were, and are strong enough to get past it..

Daniel

sorry but if my only bad was trying to help and talk to him....shoot me

No need to say sorry, like you said, he was blaming you for his short commings, I know how you feel though, it has happened to me many times as well..

if that's the worst I have done to him...I'm still doing pretty damn good

I agree, the rest is up to him now.. I wish you well, maybe given enough time, he will realize the truth about hinself..

Kim,
I am just glad this happened before you did marry him. I met my ex husband 13 years ago this April. We just got divorced Dec 5 2007. He will not talk to me either. He acts like a child who doesn't have the guts to tell me he was cheating on me with an ex girlfriend from another state. He cheated on me for almost an entire year in 2005. He was doing all of this while I was suffering from losing my dad to cancer.

Here I am going through all sorts of pain and hell and he is showing his support by going out and cheating on me. Then he acts as if I had done something to hurt him or make him mad. I of course racked my brain trying to figure out what I had done to him.

Then to make it all even worse I found out in August of 2005 that my mom had cancer too. He handled that by not saying a word to me and soon afterward by moving out while I was at work September 2005.

To make it even more fun his girlfriend got a job at the store I shopped at right down the street from my house. I of course had no idea about her until 4 months later when I went there one night to shop and she called the police and told them I had been stalking her for 4 months. Her word against mine yet the faithful loving wife went to jail and the trashy adulterer gets my sorry husband.

Let the guy go...if he doesn't want to talk to you then I assume you are better off. There could be more to it than you know. I would've preffered him to have been honest with me and just tell me he wasn't happy and wanted to move on instead of lying, cheating and acting as though it was something I had done to piss him off.

Guess what? It still hurts me and I still wish him all the best. Life sux sometimes. I guess some closure would've made a difference because I doubt I would've continued shopping there had I known he had his girlfriend worked there. I feel very betrayed and to go to jail for stalking her...It was almost enough to make me hate men. Instead I just don't like cheaters because they don't have the guts to be honest about their feelings and intentions.

Again, I know it hurts and I wish you the best. He is probably not worth all the misery.

ty hun. I'm glad you understand and sorry you went through it

Yup!

who said that???? I missed it sorry and ty

I've been in your situation. The urge to crack them over the head with a Louisville Slugger must be strongly resisted.

Seriously....it is difficult to let it go. There are days when I still can't seem to cut the final strings. I have found that living better is still the absolute best revenge. I let her go on her merry way while I worked at making my life turn out how I wanted. Today, four years later...she has been through five or six men and can't figure out why.

I have not tried again. Just a little too gun-shy.

I just want to shake him and put a curse on him that his woozle turns green and falls off

KIDDING

It took me over a year to try again and I'm still trying...

A lot of great advice from all. Tips for healing? Time. And lots of it. Don't dwell on the how's and why's. Use your time and occupy yourself with hobbies, commitments, freinds, and family. Try liking yourself more if you can. Do something nice for yourself. Letting go of unanswered questions is hard. But you can and will be above this. Best of luck.

this will only work, if you are prepared to deal with the alternative you have put out there. Otherwise this is a head game!

Getting over the anger can be tough sometimes even if you realize you're hurting yourself most by it. That was my hardest lesson to learn. I should've taken anger management classes or something to help faster maybe but I got through it all.

I just decided I don't want to be an unhappy, angry, bitter person who hates men or cheaters. I just shot her a bird. Called her a wh%re and got in my car and drove away after she confronted me at the store and told me who she was.

There are better ones out there to spend time with for sure and it can be fun looking...