Ok. I have no one I can talk to about this and I really, really need
some sound advice.
I dated a guy for 5 months. We got along really well, we could sit and
talk for hours, about everything and nothing. The only problem in our
relationship was he didn't want to have sex. We had the perfect
relationship except for the intimacy. He would always make excuses.
First it was that he wanted us to be friends first. Then it was that we
couldn't at my house because I don't have my own room and he was afraid
my kids would walk in on us, then it was that he was embarrassed about
his apartment because it was dirty.Finally on my birthday he came over
and we broke up. That was almost 2 months ago. Now tonight it's his
birthday and I want to call him and wish him a happy birthday but I know
I probably shouldn't.
I thought we were good friends and were working towards a future,
obviously I was wrong. Why is it taking me so long to get over him?

Sure..would love to chat with you.

Just IM me when you get a chance or message me.

Either way! I'm looking forward to speaking with you. (smiles)

He was honest it seems too me.If a man does not want to have sex theres
a real reason.He just maybe afraid to truly hurt you.A friend does not
hurt his or her friends.I have been there a few times.It may be as
simple as he is not turned on by her sexualy just mentaly.There is
something a line he does not want to cross.I will say this if he is
pushed to have sex it will be a one time deal and he will not come
around again.Let it be a friend do not push he is not wanting the same
thing as you.Best to have a friend thats comfortable to be with than
someone you knew as a friend that was.

chismah for some reason I cant respond to your im....not sure why

hey,
What the hell!!I feel like helping you out.......first off he is
either:gay,did not get his needs met for him to have sex with you,hes a
virgin or just very very shy and scared maybe of pregnancy or committing
to u.Maybe your kids are a concern and seeing a women with other
kids...is a tough deal for a guy and i bet he is afraid of that.

You obviously fell for him,but...who dumped who?If he dumped u,move
on.If u dumped him, talk to him.Remember...u never got your needs met
either with sex and i know by your message your falling for him,so
friends are out of the question.If u really want him....talk it out and
try and work through this or move on completely and take time to get
over him.

But dickin around calling,etc when your done..only re activates
feelings,etc.Im months this will fade..and so will he.

Cheers,
greg

You have to push the IM Accept feature that pops up hun.

I will wait for ya. no rush at all!

Fine - he doesn't want to have sex, then were not boyfriend girlfriend
we are just friends....do I call and wish him a happy b-day?

Or just go to my profile and look for the IM feature and push that
button and I will be there lickity split time.

He broke up with me on my birthday

I wouldn't call him to wish him a happy birthday. I would just give it a
rest. For some reason he hasn't called you--could he be gay? I know you
are probably thinking Oh my god NO...but seriously...you never know.
Something is strange with the whole situation. If you guys are just
friends, maybe he just wants to be that---JUST FRIENDS. If you do have
sex, that could ruin your friendship, once you have sex it would be very
strange and you might not be able to go back to just friends.
So I would just let things ride, if he wants to talk, he will call you.

I guess anything is possible. He hasn't called since we broke up. I
think your right and I shouldn't call, but why is it still so hard to
move on?

Are you just sitting at home waiting for him to call you? I think you
need to go out with your friends. Spend time away from the phone, don't
make him think that you are just sitting there waiting for that phone
call that may never happen, get out and do something. You might actually
meet the man of your dreams!!!

I'm the homebody type. I would rather stay at home with my boys then go
out, however once I get out I have a great time. I just am having a
hard time meeting someone who I have a "connection" with

Aunt kimmie
A word to the wise honey, My ex- didnt want to have sex either. He told
me it was because it wasnt right before marriage, And I respected him
for that. I really did.
However, it never changed I spent 8 yrs in a lonely cold marriage like a
furnishing. (sitting around collecting dust)
There was a reason mine didnt want to be with me. he still loved His
first wife and never got over her. I spent 8 yrs picking myself apart
trying to figure out what was wrong with ME.
Take it as a blessing that you found out now. Im sorry it happened on
your birthday I know that sucks, but it may have been the best gift he
couldve given you.
I am truly sorry you are hurting but there is something better out there
for you.

Ahh Green always give good sound advice :)

I see everyone has covered over the fact that this guy might be gay, or
not be attacted to you....but, has anyone ever thought that he MIGHT
have aides or some other desease? Of course, another reason could be his
religion, as well.

Sounds like he dosnt want to spend the rest of his life with you.I think
he dont want to hurt you or not hurt you more.

I think every one is right don't call him and don't sit around waiting
for him because that is all you will do is wait more than likely and
your feelings and your heart will heart will just harden more for him
and than you'll be angry at your self and him and where does that get
you it ceartently don't hurt him in any way take it from some one who
know's forgive him and move on and see what happens.

sounds like he wasnt in to you at all. just forget him and move on.

Something no one has said....Erectile disfunction. Could he suffer from
it... and was ashamed about it. quite possibly he could not satisfy
other women he had been with.... But that's the past......

All in all, he is the one missing out on a great woman! So, go out and
enjoy yourself. Staying home only makes you want company to spend the
hours away and, being by yourself, just makes you relive those happy
moments you spent together and makes you hurt more....

So, listen to all, and GO OUT with friends or invite some to your house
- it's Christmas, share, be happy.