Now dats wut I'm talkin bout! Did I say dat out lowd???

Hurry up and dont be late!!! Mush Mush!!!

Yeh tell that to your b/f..I seen him yelling at you on the phone!

parts of what we secretly wish for and (if men would be honest you wish for a version of it from us also) is on that list what we get is something diffrent. dreams and reality are not always one and the same. It was just a frilly non jaded view of what someone once dreamed believe me after their first relationship it ended give the poster a break..........

Exactly!!!!!!!

OMG did i guess one of the secrets of the universe.............LOL

Most of this is signs of abuse to me. So I do not agree. I would hope that I would be honest and forthright enough to tell him what I need so there would not have to be any guessing or possibilities of violence. If he grabs me in certain times listed, we would have to fight. I want to be left alone if I say I want to be left alone.

So romantic. When I ask you to pull my finger [it most probably means I'm gonna fart]. And when I tilt my head [it means that I'm totally amazed again at the stupid comments you make]. And when I walk away mad [it most likely means I caught you lying or cheating on me again]. And if you hit me I will call the cops, have you arrested, press charges, tow your car to impound, and run all your personal belongings through a woodchipper laughing and drinking beer with my freinds you whine about so much. And when I bend over [it means I want you to kiss my ....] ha ha ha ha ha

I liked most of this, but If I say it's over, IT's OVER! This is not an invition to stalk me!

Come on people, it was like a romantic poem, not a road map to the universe. Only I can supply that!

But seriously, if you cant appreciate the post in the spirit it was intended, then just leave it alone.

Besides, if you are going to make wise crack about something then you need to at least hae enought wit to be funny. Most of you are so negative your boring.

and for some reason men wonder why we think your all assholes and women wonder why you think were all *****es............stop overthinking the damn post..........most of you on here seem to think it's a good thing to bite the hand that feeds you.... and yet you wonder why you never get fed............

blah blah blah blah blah

Many of these things are reactions. Reactions that are fear based, rather than manipulations or abuse. Sure.. there are extremes and frequencies that I cannot put up with.. But I will also not run at the first sign.

A little empathy can go a long way in making both parties in any relationship feel safe. Empathy is not mind reading.. It is taking yourself out of self and trying to see it from a different perspective. In that...very possibly help you understand your part in the whole.

If empathy is unrealistic? Then being in a relationship is unrealistic.

My comments mentioning manhood and emasculation were driven by these words in prior posts.


I have never been hurt by a little cussing.. I have not been hit or pushed so hard that it did any lasting damage.... I have never suffered an abuse that robbed me of my identity... maybe just some pride. If I am in a loving relationship I can put up with a lot, without losing anything, so long as the relationship is striving to improve on those things we both bring to the party.

Us guys have our own version of these behaviors too. We may not realize it any more than they realize their side.

For instance... I'm sure most of us can claim guilt in trying to push someone faster than they were willing to go. We do this by subtle suggestion at first, then guilt and ultimately when we don't get what we want.. Blame and shame. I can think of at least 10 instances of this off the top of my head I've heard of recently from people that are represented in these threads or on this site.

Men are just as manipulative as women by and large. Trying to control... Yet we are unable to make the correlation in a woman's behavior? The motive for this behavior is usually fear based. We all act differently then we would prefer to, when feeling vulnerable, unsafe or in fear.

The only time, in my opinion, it becomes unhealthy and abusive is when it becomes the first tools we reach for... never learning healthy ways to deal with it.

Almost a sure sign of someone who commonly reacts in fear.. is someone who professes to be above these behaviors. They are usually completely unaware or just refuse to acknowledge them in their own behavior.

Most of the reason, in my opinion, there is such a disparity between genders in this is simply because we focus on the differences rather then the similarities.

So again..unless you guys ~including myself~ believe you are perfect and without sin in this stuff.. then you probably don't have much room to judge nearly so harshly.

If you do believe you are without sin? Chances are? You are the worst offender.

After reading four pages of this... I'm wondering why there is so much emphasis on the manipulation of women.

As a woman, I read both the OP and the very dry and somewhat sarcastic response by other member. I truly appreciated each. By and large, both genders have a hierarchy of needs, and those flucuate based on their moods are at the time.

The OP seemed romantic, during that rainbows and butterflies all encompassing stage where you are infatuated. The second might be the response to a souring relationship or during a serious argument, rather than a lover's quarrel or miscommunication.

I admit I tend to have pretty traditional views of gender roles in relationships, but this is based on my opinion of what women want from men. As is my right to believe such a thing.

However, the essence of what I got from the OP was romanticism. The budding push me, pull me, declare your love and passion for me and show me you care sort of thing. To remember things and treat me like I'm special. The sort of situation where you say or do something stupid, get embarrassed and walk away, yet your lover stops you and says that does not matter.

As a woman and as a person, I genuinely seek to get to know those I care about. I have a tendency to anticipate what I think they might want or need and give it to them. This works both as a positive and a negative for me, but I never lose my sense of identity. Any man that reciprocates would never lose his either, unless he deliberately chose to do so. Which would end the relationship for me, as I would lose respect.

Men who can be kind, caring, empathetic, considerate, passionate, and admit they are equally as guilty of emotional overreactions are a rare breed. They are usually the manliest of men in that they can have and express these qualities. There is nothing emasculating or "whipped" about a man who senses when I'm sad and asks me what's wrong and remembers things I like or dislike. Both genders want some security, and have different ways of expressing that need.

I agree with Jistme: No relationship can exist without empathy. We wonder why marriages fail? We wonder why people can't just "love us for who we are"? I think maybe we ought to spend more time trying to love the other person for who they are, and to build a relationship with a person despite their flaws, and with mutual respect, admiration, and consideration. It's not 50/50. It's 100/100.

Hey lilith..We should probably talk sometime?

"butterflies in stomach"





ABSOLUTELY!!!!!