Hey Shirley !!!
Wait, wait, wait !!! Until you know this person extremely well, for at least six months to a year, even. If it is serious enough for you to want your children to know this person, check them out THOROUGHLY. I hate to sound paranoid, but there are some strangos (that may seem like decent guys) out there, that you need to make sure aren't going to come into contact with your children. I think if it was me, and I was getting serious about someone new (AFTER the back ground check, that is), I would invite this person, AS A FRIEND, to some kind of family/social function or party, where it is not just you, him and the kids, so that there is no pressure on the kids to accept him. Then after several times that they have seen him, and are fairly used to him, maybe invite him on a family/group outing (with maybe a couple of other people that you know), as a FRIEND. DO NOT confuse your kids by having this guy come over for dinner, or anything too intimate, until you are pretty certain that he is going to be a PERMANENT part of your life. And even then, take it extremely slow. Especially, don't have him spending the night or moving in, or any of that kind of cr_p. (I have a sister who did this with her kid 3-4 different times, which was SOOO wrong!!) Good Luck !!!

I am kinda new to all of this so take it with a grain of salt - but kids need to be part of the dating life - cause its not you and your date, then you and the kids. Too many dates have gone wonderfully for months only to find out mr. right can't handle twin, toddler boys. No, my advice is to not keep both parties in the dark but integrate them mutually.

There is nothing wrong with taking your children on dates with you. Dating is not a sin.
However, dates have a time to be over.
Single parents can date, not all single parents can date without their kids. However, I think that having overnight guest would be inappropriate with children around.

I forgot to include: Just because your children are around this guy does not mean that you should leave them with him before you both you and your children get to know him.

im a single dad and i have my three kids with me. kids know more than we think. my 5 year old son told me i needed to get a girlfriend. in many cases kids are happy to know parent is happy when dating. if children know this it helps when you do introduce everyone involved. and i would never bring an overnight guest to surprise my kids with.

Wow, there is a lot of great advice out there. Glad I got to read it. My girls and I have been on our own for almost four years. They have met three guys I have dated. I have always worried about the idea of a revolving door at my house. But things have gone well. I haven't had anyone long term in my life and the meetings were very casual. I hope that they have seen something positive. That they have seen that we can have a date, or a few dates and go our seperate ways with no hard feelings or turmoil. I do think it's a good idea when meeting someone online to get to know them and their family and freinds. People can pretend to be whoever or whatever they like away from their environment. But when you meet the people they know they will show their true colors. For the most part anyway.
Great advice folks, I sure learned something tonite

its 2008 and kids no mommy and daddies have needs they really dont care who ur dateing in fact i think kids more in likely want to meet joe or jill when u first start dateing if u have kids u have to make sure the guy or girl gets along with ur kids and vivce verses so if u meet someone go out a few dates then spring the kids out for a everyone goes deal date and go from there remember kids see things us adults dont about people there eyes dont lie and can see the rtruth about someone very quickly

Its all about how you feel, If your confortable around that person, Communication is key. you need to explain it to the children, and to the other person involved take the kids and that person some place fun, that way if the kids dont like that person, atleast they can still have fun, and it keeps thier minds on other things like fun stuff.

I say never let the kids get to know the other unless its something really really serious .... like your getting married and the meeting is just necessary then .
When I was young my Mother had so many Men in and out of our lives seriously my idea of relationships and men are fudged up .
It might be okay to introduce the guy as a friend especially since your boys are so small .

I would have to agree with that too

Most children are in a critical developmental stage at or around that age. I would say no introduction until after a few dates (4 to 6?) then if I felt like the person was someone I thought would have a positive impact on the child, OK. I would be (and I was) very careful about mixing my social life with my young children. I have never regretted it. I think the important thing to remember is: If they are young, and the person you are dating is wonderful, they are going to bond. If it doesn't work out, this will be emotionally distressing for the child. Whatever the cost to you, always consider the child's emotional needs above your own. Just my .02. :)

when you are sure its a long term thing.

I havent gotten past the second or third date yet. I guess I would intro my sons to a guy I had been dating for over a month or so. My sons are 20 & 18, so the idea isnt a big deal to me.

I would say about three months-- after you feel at ease.