Hi, I'm Bob.
Skip the photos, I'm no George Clooney clone, but my profile is long, honest, and all 100% truth.
Would I be the sort of widower that can actually find a pretty woman to spend time and less-exertive activities with?
I have a nice cuddy I/O boat to sleep out on the water on - that should give me a few extra bonus points Lmao.

Profile in itself is fine.
The 'but' is in the facts that you can't change, not at this moment anyway: you have nothing to offer a woman as you already had the one & only love in your life and recently lost her.

So a woman has to give up on her dreams and the hope of finding new love, and be happy she gets the chance to play second fiddle in your life.
You expect a woman to settle for crumbs because you can't deal with being on your own?

That's what you're asking. No offense, but that's immature and selfish.
Since you recently lost your wife it'd be best to wait a while before going on a dating site.
You've got to find your own feet first.

Trying to get a new woman to use her as a stopgap isn't going to take your pain away. You'll have to work through it regardless. And it's mean to use another person.

Hi Bob,

Welcome! Your profile was quite the read. A little entertaining, but quite wordy. I skim read some parts. The site is unforgiving when it comes to inserting paragraphs on the profile page. Nonetheless, I survived. Perhaps condense it a little and edit the repetitive aspects. The boat pic of you with the balloons in the background is appealing and speaks more to your personality.

Grieving can be quite a process and I wish you the best of luck!

Hi SparklingCrystal;
It's going on 3 years now (Xmas Day 2022).
So how long am I supposed to spend grieving, exactly, before I attempt to start a new friendship - note I say "friendship", not demanding a new "love of my life" relationship.
I guess I'm clueless and didn't understand the grieving period, never having been in one previously.
So, SparklingCrystal, are you suggesting I wait another 3 years, 5 years, 10 years, before it's "the appropriate time" to commence getting on with getting on?

Thank you both for even bothering to replay.
I appreciate the comments.

Hi Merry;
This is a new experience for me but I notice almost all the female listings claim they are seeking someone who is "open" and "honest".
I made my profile such that it is both, in as much detail as balanced against too little (which most profiles are and don't give one much of a clue who that person is - many have ZERO information even) or too much.

I favored the "more is better" approach, given it's so difficult for women to decide if they want to take a chance on a given profile on a sorta shady site as this is proving to be.

I'm here, I'm moving on, or at least attempting to, and if that's not enough after all the details I've revealed about myself, then perhaps I'm not the "Mr. Right" or even the "Mr. Right Now" any particular female subscribers are looking for.

Given the 0% success rate I've had so far, I honestly do not know what else I could do, hence the request for you fairer sex persons to give me some responses.
Bob

Only you know what you're ready for and when.
I don't think there is a default time for that.
What you can do is get clear for yourself what you actually want / need right now and what you can offer right now.
And then convey that clearly in your profile.

I went through it again and it contradicts itself all over the place. If I was interested in you, your text would put me off.

You mention looking for friendship, but the woman would have to move to your area!!?. Why would a woman move for friendship? Sounds very demanding. And why aren't you willing to move to her?
And looking for friendship, but you do want touch and intimacy.

Then you speak of dating and a relationship, are very fussy about what kind of woman would be acceptable to you, even describing what her nose has to be like? Seriously?

Then you tell that you've already been with the one and only love in your life. That means you have nothing to offer any woman.
Yet after that you continue to say what you're looking for in dating & relationship?

How can you look for dating and relationship if love clearly isn't on the table?

Aside from all that, your profile text is way too long.
I'd seriously advise you to take the time to figure out what you have to offer as it doesn't sound like much from your text.
And what you want from a woman.
Is it friendship only? So you have someone to go places and do things so you're not alone so much?
Or is it FWB, sex included? Or do you want someone you can fall in love with & have a real love relationship with, woe her, flirt, cherish her and so on?

Then convey that in a much shorter and much clearer profile text.

And no offense... it's a serious suggestion, have you thought of getting a dog? Many lonely people get a pet so there's something to pet, love, care for. And another living creature that's happy when you get home and so on.

I am not lonely, but if I wouldn't have my 3 cats I'd feel horribly alone and the house would feel empty.

Even if you cannot love another woman, you will be able to love an animal and enjoy having it around.
It can bring happiness & joy into your life and it's a much better solution than using another human being as a stop-gap for the emptiness you feel in life.

"And no offense... it's a serious suggestion, have you thought of getting a dog?"


This comment just cracked me up.

I totally get that, but it wasn't meant as a joke nor meant to be condescending.

I happen to be on a dating site where the average age is too high for me, and that automatically means there are quite a lot of widow/ers.
What I hear from many of them is that they cannot really imagine ever loving another man/woman since they loved their spouse so much.
In essence they cannot love someone else as a partner.
Yet they do still long to have love, something to care for and so on.
Many if not all of them have a cat or a dog.