I separated in January 1998, divorced in 1999. Had a few short relationships (for approx 3 months) that ended for one reason or another, the last being in 2008. While I don't mind my own company there were (and still are) times that I thought/think it would be nice to have a partner.

How long have you spent on your own?

51 years and counting.....

I was alone for eight years before I met my current partner. I definitely needed that time to get my head straight.

Was that by choice Dave?

I hope it was worth it.

Separated in 2016, should have done it earlier, but it was not possible ...

I just have to add, here in Ireland, a judicial separation has the same legal value, a divorce has. People only need a divorce, if they wanted to get married again.

Thanks Lars.. Hope your a lot happier now.

Some scars will remain, but overall, I feel a lot better. Thanks for your kind wishes

People say, "no man is an island". I've been a very narrow peninsula since I was born.

I don't understand what you mean.

Are you seeking self-affirmation?

I'm not seeking anything..

Currently single for 5 yrs. Like Bonnie, I needed much of that time to get my head straight. Took me quite some time to bounce back from my last relationship and I do not seek a new one until my heart is ready for it again.
And of course we had the pandemic, just when I felt ready to start dating again. But I didn't see the point of dating with facemasks on, restaurants closed etc etc.

I don't mind being alone tbh. Most important thing is to have a good relationship between you and you. Without that you cannot have a good relationship with another.

I agree which you Cystal, I think people who have take time out to sort things out know when they are ready to try again. When your ready I hope it works for you.. there are still good people out there.

Yes, and I thought I was over it all, ready again, right before the pandemic.
However, last year I unexpectedly saw him in my local supermarket and I was shell-shocked. Totally off-kilter and later on angry. I didn't get why he was here, the audacity! He lives 155km from me, so why my village?
I realised there was still some residual something inside me so I worked through that. Also had to decide what to do if I was to see him again. Say something? Ignore him? What? I worked it out, thank goodness I did as I did see him 2 more times!?

Then last month I got an email from him about something practical. We exchanged 2 mails, and after that it felt good, okay, I had let go completely and moved into softer feelings. Forgiveness as well, finally, as I couldn't before.
So in a way it took me 5 yrs to completely heal and come to forgiving.
If you take into account that many would already be in a new relationship by that time... They then take that residual anger, negativity, etc. with them in the new connection.
And then people wonder why there are so many break-ups. Much is due to not taking proper time to heal & recover.

3 years. It's not a long time, but I don't look forward to being in a relationship anytime soon. Right now my kids and career are my main priorities.

You sound like your in a better place now after taking the time..

Maybe it's not long enough and you have got your priorities in order and you will know when it's right for you to start looking again.. I wish you well.

I mistakenly used the word self-affirmation instead of self-assurance. Anyway, do you regret any past relationship decision you made?