I can't go back to sleep...it eluded me again. Fifteen minutes to one am...in the darkness of my quiet bedroom, the sounds that are loudly echoing are my thoughts of you and this background music that i have been playing on loop for days...

In my heart, with its every beat, all i could feel is the realization of the beauty of this thing we have...a love, a relationship, the perfect chemistry of every emotional and chemical reaction that science could explain and yet magically undefined, in some sort and ways, logically unexplainable...every doubts and reasons could never explain, unjustifiable? Could this be the right word? Probably not...

We have alphabets, words, shapes, colors, pictures, numbers to help express the feelings and intentions and yet with all the wisdom blessed to humankind, no one has ever made a perfect definition of love.

Here i am again, filling my mind with sweet dreams about us. Flooding my heart with hopes and dreams of a possibility of an honest future with you. Here i am again wiping these uncontrollable tears at times still asking myself, "Are you just a wonderful dream that my lonely heart created, an escape to my miserable feelings?" Yet every time i would hear your voice, when i hear or read you say the words, "I love you" it soothes me, then i know you are real...you are there some five thousand miles away, loving this woman who is so crazily and helplessly in love with you.

Here in the darkness of my quiet bedroom...a big and empty space beside me...i am wondering, is he awake now? What could he possibly be doing this very moment? Is he thinking about me? Saying my name in his mind or calling my name out loud, wishing i am just around, us cuddling, kissing, making love, laughing, smiling, and a lot, lot more?

Here in the darkness of my quiet room...i am loving you like crazy...wishing you're here with me this very moment...

Nice .

NICE

Reading this made me think about the one that got away...