I have encountered some couples(most before they marry) quarrel and fight over each other's past lives before they met each other.
Someone help me here. Why would I be mad if my lady has a past relationship? After all, we all didnt spend our entire life with the person we fell in love with when we were 15. What i am saying is we all were with different people before we ended up with 'The One'.

Some mention their previous partner, or even partners, just to make their new partner jealous. Or spend more money on them. As in, My Ex always brought be on a holiday trip for my birthday. Subtile messaging that is.

They can talk about past relationships, but to me, any past relationship would make us incompatible.
I can allow previous dates, but nothing physical.

Why?

i have found two reasons for behavior....the first is to recycle

favorite feelings and emotions....

the second one is to validate old beliefs about ourselves and

others. with both they make us miss the here and now....the

favorite tool people use to do this is the Karpman triangle aka

drama triangle. the rescuer, victim and perpetrator. and each

feels justified in there position...as they change positions in

the game they all will end up as victims......all movies,and

novels follow this story line..bringing up past relationships is

one way to get it stated....IT'S WASTED TIME AND LIVES...THAT'S

THE ''WHY''.....

I'd say that can only happen if a past relationship is dragged into the new one.
For instance if it turns out one partner is still loving the previous partner.

And I've had men ask in a quiz on a dating site, "Why did you break up from your last partner?"
Then you also drag that into a potential new situation while it is none of their business.

Another example could be accidentally calling the new partner by the past partner's name. I've been there. Very awkward, and it meant nothing as I did not love that past partner anymore. Just force of habit but it can create difficult situations.

I seem to be getting the cold shoulder for having next to no experience in dating. Currently however, there is one person I told my lack of experience to, and luckily she seems cool with it. We plan to meet sometime next week.

Anyways, for the past 3 years, it's been a struggle just to get my foot in the door of starting a relationship. All because of my lack of a past. So I find it funny when couples argue when they feel the other party had one too many sexual escapades.

IMO, Who the **** cares whether its one or the other. The importance isn't in experience, but in chemistry. If you can appreciate the similarities you share with someone, and at least tolerate the differences, then it can work. Forget the past.