Topic: Advice
no photo
Thu 09/09/21 05:55 AM
I once gave advice to someone who was obsessed and would not stop loving her ex love despite many years passing. She was in her twenties and life was passing her by. I advised her that love is like a hole in us, waiting to be filled. The last love filled that void, hence the memories and nostalgia. If they meet a new love, that person would finally fill that void and they can move forward, but they have to be open to it.
A decade later, she is still in that same place, no new love. She is extremely attractive and a very deep personality.
Was my advice wrong or right?

Kevin's photo
Thu 09/09/21 06:28 AM
Absolutely right

no photo
Thu 09/09/21 06:43 AM

Absolutely right

Oh, ok. Nice to see you here :grinning:

Dramatic Muffin's photo
Thu 09/09/21 06:45 AM
I think that was sound advice. Have you asked her about it recently? Does she say the reason she is not dating now is because she's still in love with her ex a decade later? Could it be another reason?

Sometimes at some point a person realizes how disruptive an obsessive love like that can be. Those are rarely smooth sailing. It's typically like a roller-coaster, and even when things are going well, you can't relax because you're just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Sometimes once that turmoil is gone, you finally discover peace...and you like the way that feels. And you want to avoid dating, because you want to hang onto the peace.

Kevin's photo
Thu 09/09/21 07:03 AM


Absolutely right

Oh, ok. Nice to see you here :grinning:

Thanks, and it's nice to have you back here :smile:


no photo
Thu 09/09/21 12:51 PM
When it comes to love ..,Hope can certainly be a cruel torture .

Romantic love is a unique experience for everyone . Belief patterns and how we internalise love are a large part of that . There is no time frame for how long someone remains emotionally invested .

Ladywind .. you asked if you are right or wrong to give the advice you gave ... that depends .. was that advice reflective of your own idealised beliefs ? Were you projecting your own thoughts about love and relationships . Her experience of love is her own , as are her beliefs and life goals . You may believe she is wasting away time .. clearly she does not share that view and it is her choice to make., When she is ready (and a new love is something she wants) she will move on waving

ronaldjames38382's photo
Sun 09/12/21 01:39 PM
you are right,

motowndowntown's photo
Sun 09/12/21 02:52 PM
Some people never get over their ex, especially if he/she was their first. There's naught you can say or do to change that.