Has anyone e er dated one and survived
Unharmed, just out of a 25 year relationship with one, still healing the wounds mental and physical,

One man's psycho, is another man's princess.

It is a fact that empaths attract them...till they wake up. Sorry that happened to you...get counselling or a good friend to talk to. It will take some time to heal and rethink everything

So that's why my ex wife married me?

At least I woke up, even if it was almost too late.

Probably Lars. Being understanding we fall prey to those who play us. And unfortunately we see the best in everyone...until we learn

Most narcissists are MALE, not female!!
So I always have question marks when men come up with it about their female partner.

I have been with a narcissist for 10-11 yrs. So yes, you can recover, but it takes time and work on self-esteem.

I do want to point out that not everyone who's an a-hole is automatically a narcissist. These days it's such a fashion word and everyone who's been unpleasant suddenly is called a narcissist, but this is incorrect.

Narcissism is a personality disorder.
The fact that it gets used so commonly makes it more difficult for the victims of a narcissist to get understanding, which is one of the things you need to heal as it has such a deep impact.

NOT every unpleasant partner is a narcissist.

I did learn my lesson, but it had to be the hard way. And yeah, we see the positives until there is only negatives left.

Still, I am proud that I was able to turn into the right direction

No I avoid such guys!

I disagree Crystal. I am on another site where it is ok to say you are a narcissist. There are as many women as men. Spooky stuff to be honest. Like one woman who is a swimming coach, she found a helpless animal swimming in her pool. Instead of saving it, she watched it drown. Then rang her appointments for the day who were due to have swimming lessons, she cancelled them in her rapture of watching the animal die.

Why would a mental disorder favor a gender?

Blah. It must be hard to be so perfect.

No I don't think I'm perfect! However, I'm
Cautious. We all make mistakes. Just not the same kind.

My X
25 years as well.

It wasn't all bad. It didn't start getting bad till my rose-colored glasses fell off. Hind-sight really is 20/20, especially when you are cursed with an excellent memory.

Over a decade now and I still hate her. Not so much for what she did to me while we were married but for how she treats our children and grandchildren now.

She is still a pathogenic liar and still a narcissistic sociopath.
However, I must admit I enabled her and tolerated her behavior.
I made excuses and refused to see the truth of her. I suspected but always gave 'her' the benefit of a doubt. Till I couldn't anymore.
Her personality is 180 degrees from what I experienced.
She shows her true nature, now.

The mental wounds you are trying to heal is part of her power over you.
I found when I used my experience of 25 years to build wisdom it helped recover quicker. I learned a lot of life lessons which I make sure I do not repeat. First and foremost, to choose wisely.

Also try to remember the past is the past and nobody can change the past. Deeds and words can not be undone.
The only thing you can do is use the wisdom you gained from the past to make better choices in the present so you can have a better future.

I had to remove the walls of delusion she built around me to find inner contentment. Then I had to remove my own walls of delusion to find the ability to love someone again.

Now that I am 'seeing clearer', I won't allow myself to ever fall into that hole again.

As a side note for dating:
Try to refrain from calling her anything. Women do not want to hear how bad she was. They want to hear how good you are. If you refer to her as a narcissistic sociopath and show you hate for her, it sends potential dates running. I don't mean you should never speak of her (or lie about her). Just try to wait till you are in a good stable relationship with someone new and she asks you for details.

If your hate and hurt still control you, get control of yourself before you start looking for someone new. Otherwise, you could end up back in the same rut.
Think Positive.
Choose Wisely.

I believe I'm married to one. We have 7 children. Been married almost 14 years. Didn't see it for many years, and only realized it last year. The gaslighting and emotional abuse over the years is ridiculous. I have no idea how to move forward. Every night I go to sleep I count as a victory, bc it's another day I survived his BS.