If a person who is not someone you know well, spends money on you, maybe on a date, maybe you meet them at a bar, nightclub etc, do they do it because they have expectations?
Do you spend your money on a person?
Do you accept someone paying for a meal, drinks, movies, events, etc?

Interesting topic... may I add a question?
If you consider yourself a feminist and you go out for a date, would you expect / allow the guy to pay for the meal, drinks, cinema etc...?

I like to pay for myself. Then there are no expectations and I believe it is fair. In fact, I insist on paying even when I know they are being gentlemanly, because I have been on a date where he got very angry when he paid and I didn't sleep with him. It was scary.

I’m always willing to pay my share.

I totally agree, and I insist on paying my share of the bill

I think that if two person go out together it's because they both like to do that, so there is no reason for either one to pay the bill...
This was probably right when women did not work (centuries ago?) but now...
I had a bad argument when very young for paying a bill, she was a real feminist and did not appreciate it! Since then, I usually take out my wallet (actually a couple of times I forgot it!!) but never insist on paying for both.

And would you pay the guy's bill too occasionally?

No I am not paying for a date...cheeky!! If he 'forgot' his wallet, he is doing the dishes at the restaurant to pay for himself.
If it was a friend and I knew he was broke at the time and I wanted company, that is different, I would do that for a female or male friend.

I'm glad it wasn't you my date! I really forgot and not 'forgot' my wallet the very first time I went out with my wife. She paid for me and that meant that we had to go out again to make it even (no, I did not forget my wallet again, it was embarrassing enough the first time!)
For sure if she had reacted the way you described above, I would never have gone out with her again, and that would have been the end of it. No marriage, no children, end of the story...

The men I met just wanted to meet in person to see if they really had a good fit for a relationship. No expectations !

I meet at a nice restaurant or Coffee shop, not bars. I usually buy my own !
Man buys his own.

My dates were planned out through long conversations. Men all traveled here to me.
I will go over expenses before meeting.

I prefer he pays, depending of course on what it is and how long we've known each other for.
But meet and greet and first date I do expect the man to pay. Again, depending on what we do the first real date.
I always offer to pay my share, I've never had to. And if a guy makes me pay during the meet and greet there isn't going to be a next date.

She must have liked you a lot. I do believe you can tell genuinely if someone is faking to 'forget' their wallet. Those people do exist... I have never met one yet.

Well, we were collegues and we had known each other for 3 months before going out together, so it was not like I was going to have a free meal and run off! And I had really forgotten my wallet, I guess she understood how sorry and embarrassed I was!

But what is more interesting is:

Some do not allow the guy to pay (as I said very bad argument when I was young, she tried to throw herself off a cliff as result...)

Some offer to pay their part, but if you allow them, game over

Some want no free meal and offer no free meal, if you forgot your wallet, game over...

Some take it for granted that you THE MAN, have to pay

Some, thank God, I have married!

I've never given it much thought.
I don't hold money to much value in affairs of the heart.
If the money is there, who cares who pays?
I don't do things I can't afford.
If I can't afford it, I tell her.
If she really wants to go she says she 'got this' and the conversation is over - I go.
If I really want to go, I tell her I 'got this' and we go.

If we just stop in for a quick bite - usually we pay our own way.
Sometimes when we are shopping together and she has a few things but I have many - I'll just cover it. She does the same to me.

Its no big deal.

I don't need a man to pay my way, I go out myself often.
Most men appreciate that . I've had numerous dates no expectations.
Men said they don't like women who Expect a free meal .

Isn't romance tricky 🥀

I guess communication is the key. Everyone has different what I call 'love languages'. One person loves to give, but you have to stop them giving, because you need to feel in control and safe.

Mental world!!!

Maybe it is the way I was brought up to be a gentleman but if I ask a lady out to dinner, a movie or whatever, I would always expect to pay her way. Now if she insisted to pay her own way I am not going to stop her if that is what she believes in.

Toody I am sure you posted this topic before .., I know it has been discussed many times .

As for me . The only expectation I have is that we have fun and enjoy ourselves . The rest should fall into place .

I do not consider myself a feminist . A confident women definitely . I have a well paid career and can easily afford to pay.. of course if he offers I would not insult him by insisting that I pay . I think if there is an attraction the subject of who pays is seldom an issue . If however the attraction is one sided or there is no attraction then it becomes a question of expectations .

I didn't start this thread !

no I know you didn’t . ... But I remember the thread you did post

Sometimes it may depend on how the date happens. If a guy says “I’d love to
take you out.”, I’d take that as he’s offering to pay. Or I’ve had the “let’s get
together for a drink, I’m paying.”. I’m fine either way and wouldn’t read too
much into it one way or the other, there’s many other ways you can figure out
if there’s something there. I’ve found the best way to go into a date is to
have no expectations and just, hopefully, enjoy yourselves.