Would you be in a relationship with an abuser Long time? You were truly inlove with them.

No.
10 minutes I would last.
That is how long it took me to file for divorce
after he became abusive.
Thirty days later I was free.

People do very strange things in the name of love.
Many people don't know what love is.
Sad But True...

No! Least not today. I've been in abusive relationships in the past, especially during the years when I drank alcohol. Mostly though, it was due to low self esteem, and not loving myself. I said goodbye to abusive men 6 years ago, and goodbye to abusive family members 3 years ago.

Abuse comes in many forms. I don't think some women know what they all are even. So they stay in the relationship because they are inlove. Or don't want to be alone.

Some are afraid of what will happen if they try to leave, so staying is safer than leaving. Some have been beaten down so much that they feel it's their fault and if only they act better, things will get better. Some believe their abuser when he/she apologizes, thinking it won't happen again. Some grew up with violence so think it's normal.

Many reasons besides being in love. And actually I don't think it has anything to do with love, because you end up despising your abuser, and yourself for putting up with it. It often paralyzes you and takes a major trauma or something huge for things to cause you to change your situation, or reach out for help.

My heart goes out to anyone who has been abused in the past, or is still being abused and feels hopeless that it can be different or they can escape it. There is help out there and protection, and it will be okay.

Women aren't the only ones to be abused.

Men get abused too.

Only if the sex were really really really toe curling good.

I dated a man for months he was like a knight in shining armor, so to speak, then when we got into a serious relationship, he was like Dr Jeckle and Mr Hyde!
Mean and jealous everything in between.

This was Years ago. This wasn't online dating.


After I seperated from the abuse, we dated for months afterward. He had no control over me then, so he was not mean.

I finally started to loose interest and started to go my own way!


We departed friends. He's good-looking, good income, owned a home.
Never had a problem getting a woman.


I never thought he would be abusive.

Some are good at hiding it for months before they hook you.

I agree.

One thing it's not about is just sex.

That's probably a record !

When I was about 18 I was in a happy loving relationship , never any problems between us , never any abuse in the form of emotional , abusive or physical .
Then one day he cracked my head open , he lost his rag over something stupid . I packed some of my things and left there and then , I loved him so much but knew I couldn’t stay in the relationship or living with him after that , there’s a chance it could have happened again soon as it happened once and I wasn’t going to take that risk . And I always remembered my dad telling me “ if a man ever lays a finger on you or abuses you in any way then get out straight away “

For some women this is not so straight forward and there are many reasons why they don’t or feel like they can’t leave these kind of relationships .
The same with the men that go through it too .
Often the abuser is very manipulative and drags the other person down so much in such horrific ways .

It’s easy for someone who has never been through it to say that they would leave straight away etc but often it’s hard for the other person to get out for various reasons , that maybe others don’t understand .

A friend of mine was in an abusive relationship for many years ( physical emotional ) it took her a very long time to get out of it , she never thought she would be able to cope on her own cus that’s what she was made to believe , she had all her confidence literally beaten out of her . It was so heartbreaking , and hearing all the excuses she made for it happening , putting the blame on herself cus she was made to feel that way .
I’m so glad she finally got out and is so happy now with all her confidence back . I’m sad she went through all those years of hell , but I’m so glad she is is at a much better place in her life now and can see now that none of it was ever her fault .

Thanks for sharing moom, that all is very Sad.

I was only in my abusive serious relationship 4 months, then left .


My dad didn't raise me to take abuse from a man.

That's not being a Man.

Cheating is a form of emotional abuse.

Some guys don't know that .

"Truly in love" with them?

Kinda depends on the abuse.


Going 70 mph in a 65 mph zone is abusing the law.
Eating fried foods are abusing your health/system.

If I get to define what is "abuse," then no, I would not be in a relationship with an "abuser."

If you/society gets to define what is "abuse," then I might/probably would be in a relationship with an "abuser."

Oh yes, I was in one. It wasn't physical, all mental. Took me about 3 days to feel like I got paroled, after she moved out. Then, I started to wonder why I didn't get out of it sooner.

Well said....

abuse Is a betrayal ... . I would have zero tolerance for it