I have been sleeping all day pretty much. Figured that if I slept I would not be able to feel the pain that this holiday season brings. But in between my naps I have been watching this movie. And in this movie this guy was having an affair. And he was buying her all kinds of gifts and stuff. Now this is not the first time I have seen it. I have seen it in real life as well. I guess my questions is why do they shower there mistress with gifts? At what point does a person feel like it is right to have an affair? Can a person still love there wife/husband and still have an affair? I am not sure why this is going through my mind, but thought I would ask anyhow.

I would love to help you figure this out, but I have never cheated on anyone. But I sure would love to be showered with gifts, LOL

Trust me. It is not that great. I have seen people get mixed feelings, and fall so bad for the guy just to see them run back to there wife.

I never understood that myself...

I think the man who is cheating is trying to basically impress the girl...I'm thinking that the man thinks the grass is always greener on the other side, and once he dabbles on the other side he soon realizes that it wasn't all that he expected...or perhaps he needs to have his cake and eat it too...

I never understood affairs...what's to gain out of it?

Just in defense for everybody, this is a two way street for men and women!!

I agree, there are some scandelous tricks out there as well!

It goes both ways!!

Wouldn't it be wonderful if that person just took that money and showered their mate with those gifts? Then maybe they wouldn't have to wonder if the grass is really greener on the other side!!

Hi guys. thought I'd drop in and give a different point of view.
Being a guy and under reconstruction, I think it's a need that is not being fulfilled that causes a person m or f to do such things.
Mind you in 23 yrs of marriage I never felt the need to do such (not to say she didn't) but now that i'm on my own I think it has to do with ones self worth and the lack of it from within. At least it's something I question of myself right now. (could be holiday blues too). Well thats my 2 cents anyhow

The gifts are a substitute for real intimacy. For what they can't give to the mistress, or the wife for that matter, it's a guilt thing.

Well put. But let's not forget the base possibility that they're trying to buy silence in some cases a s well.

So what is the male counterpart to mistress anyway? That was the part I've played, unknowingly.

Yup.. she was pretty generous too. I guess it gave her some feeling of cleansing her conscience? Who knows. When I found out, it made me feel like a prostitute. A very well paid prostitute, but a prostitute none the less.

The Mister!

I'm sorry doll, but I just couldn't resist you.

agreed. But I just don't get involved in triangles. They become vicious circles.

So now it's more a question of geometry then honesty.... It is all coming clear now.

If the m or f does not feel wanted, loved or needed at home they are going to look for something better albeit friends or lovers. I have been told it was the chase but once that person has been attained and the chase is done then they are like huh that was fun! And so it goes......

Yea.. like I hear that everyday.. If I did.. I might rethink my profession!

Besides.. At the rates I charge (Apparently), you most likely couldn't afford me.

Her husband could, is my guess.

Yes, it is two sided, sad to say

Take each other for granted, become a habit, become a pattern and it becomes bland....tasteless...dull.

Someone new fires the colours, the excitement, the thrill, virility of life.

It's a tempting place to go, when you feel taken for granted.

Gifts, expressions of lust or of love, are just that, expressions of gratitude.....for livening up a dull life.


How does one keep this out of their relationship?

Easy.


NEVER take each other for granted, always see your partner as a gift, not a commodity...then every day will have the 'thrill' of the affair....the grandest of affairs!