This is how we learn and grown, from experience, but also critique and feedback. I consider compliments the positive feedback, and criticism the negative feedback. We are not growing if we are only open to compliments, we will not grow if all we get is criticism. There needs to be a healthy balance between them. There also needs to be an understanding, in general, of where helpful critique ends and belittling and bullying words begin.


Do you agree?

Not really.

I would mostly agree with: "We learn from experience and feedback."

But as is it's mostly inane and easily picked apart.

If it was worded like: "We can learn and grow from experience, critique and feedback. When given to me, I consider compliments as positive feedback, and criticisms as negative feedback. I consider constructive compliments and critique a healthy balance. I have my own subjective tolerance level defining when criticism/critique becomes unhelpful."
I wouldn't agree or disagree with that, then it's just a personal statement about your beliefs. I'd just do the finger guns tongue click eye wink thing and say "you be you" and go about my merry way.

Mostly ... except you can have to much negative...
along with to much positive ...


you are right about ...find that balance for oneself ...

also sometimes those that hate... do not have a balance ...
and not sure... I am very perceptive to them ...
if that is all they have ...

I mostly agree that we should learn from both the positive and the negative but especially the negative. The hardest thing for a person to do is actually understand what the criticism means, accept the positive parts of it and learn from them. The anger and bully type actions accomplish nothing but honest criticism can do wonders.

It's called constructive criticism. When it's followed by what, how, where and or why something can be done better about what is being criticized.

I think context and timing are important ... if you are going to critique or criticise someone during the throes of passion. . ... seldom will it go well .

Likewise vulnerability , emotional readiness and hormonal fluctuations can also influence whether feedback is perceived as positive or negative . .. Men should not under estimate ovulation and the phases of the moon .. laughing

I had to think about it as something about it didn't sit well with me and I didn't know.
Now I do. Compliments & critique in the way we're used to it is a reward system. Not unlike what one uses to train an animal with a bell.
It is based on the old patriarchal system where status, achieving, good results etc. are very much acknowledged. Someone's effort and enthusiasm doesn't count.

People -including children- who cannot meet the demanded requirements but still give it their all, often get criticised and slapped on the fingers. They may get low grades, not get a promotion and so on even though they'd deserve it.

Their input and effort and enthusiasm is not seen, it's all about the result.
That's the old way, the patriarchal way.

There is another, more loving way that helps us grow much more than this reward system as it makes us feel loved, seen, acknowledged for who we are.

Whenever people want only affirmation, they react badly to negative feedback.

Sounds like a participation trophy. Makes some people feel good about themselves while failing to recognize the accomplishments of others. Those good feelings of self worth may also then fail to improve that person and people suffer the consequences when they get into the real world. The goal of criticism should be to help the criticized person improve; criticizing without showing how to improve is just meant to humiliate another person!