I know this is not the greatest topic for this time of the year, but face it, it is reality. This is the time I am usually the happiest. Me in the kitchen baking, my son off playing, carols playing in the background. There was something magical about this time of the year. Even when I was younger I remember playing outside with my cousins on Christmas eve at my grandparents. Then coming in and smelling the turkey cooking in the wood stove. I remember how good it use to smell.

But now? No it is no longer the same. There is no children around to hear laugh. No smell of cookies baking. I have no motivation to want to do anything but cry.

I do not know why I am even typing this here. Maybe to see if anybody else will be 100% alone this holiday and ask how you are coping with. Would love to read all of your stories.

For some it's not so much the being alone as other memories which intrude on the season.

Yes-this time of year is supposed to be so cheery but it is lonely and depressing. I only have my mom and we aren't financially able to have a Christmas like in the past. We will celebrate the birth of Jesus and we will spend the day together but anything other than that-I am just turning a blind eye to in hopes of a happier more prosperous new year. Good luck to you and Merry Christmas.

I will not be alone this Christmas but this holiday does seem odd to me . Things don't seem as joyous/happy as usual . Everyone seems distant .
I've been trying really hard to get into the Christmas spirit but it just isn't happening .

Hope you feel better whisper . Happy Holiday .

one man's hell is another man's heaven.

My Christmas will never be the same as in the past. I just try to deal with it and still have some kind of smile on my face.

I hate the holidays. I always get morbidly depressed. People get so selfish and materialistic. I love the lights and the cold and the smells, but what it has become aggravates me. The need to force this happy family gathering when the other 364 days of the year we barely speak to eachother. Try to come together and be happy when you have loved ones missing from the table who will never be at another holiday meal. yep Ive got nothing....I just want it to be over. I have yet to pull the fake tree out of the half rotted cardboard box. And personally I wouldnt, but the kids want it.

Thats true. One of the things I try to do is go volunteer at a shelter or sorting toys for the toy drives. It always makes you realize how fortunate you are. I spent $30 last night on toys for a toys for tots drive we had at my local night club. Meanwhile I havent purchased anything for my own kids because I have had no income in almost 4 months. Im going to have to break down and run up the credit card.

Hey Whisper,

I fully relate to what you're feeling. Earlier this year when my wife split with me I lost a spouse, the extended family that came with her, and then in separate incidents my daughter from my first marriage estranged herself from me and accompanied her estrangement with some nasty words for no reason. So this holiday it's the first time that I'm without a family of any sort and reluctant to try imposing on friends. But I know what you mean- on my end, no family gathering, no family dinner, kids laughing and clamoring for when will they get their gifts, no going together to midnight mass, and no family dinner on Christmas day. My only companion will be the cat.

Maybe next Christmas the setting will be a lot happier for you and me and all those who are spending this holiday season alone.

I completely understand where you are coming from! I am the youngest out of 11 in my family. We used to have the huge tree that my dad would bring in and my mom and I would decorate. Everyone would come over, mom would cook we would all sit down and eat then go into the living room and open our presents. The boys or uncles would come over for deer hunting. In 1988 my father passed away from heart failure, we buried him on Christmas Eve, my mother is now 89 and sits in a wheelchair all day and I will have to go and get her so she will eat and she doesn't cook anymore. I only get presents for my son. In August my 23 year old daughter went missing I still haven't heard from her. People tell me Merry Christmas I look at them and say "Baaaa Humbug" Yes I understand completely where you are coming from!

I wish I could go home for Christmas... I've never been so homesick.

im gonna be spening xmas alone this year as well i love xmas and it not gonna be the same without my family around.

i agree about the holidays... we cannot always look into the past cause, it would drive us to the "stress-treme". i haven't had the best christmas SIX years straight. pretty much all stress, get mailed dumb cards done (even though never get a card back), working too many overtime hours at work, and i could go on and on but i'm not. although i notice, how many times we really had a "white christmas". ya we get snow but sometimes the snow goes away with crummy rain. sure there are some people out there that are really "hyped up" through religion about christmas, but speaking from person point of view, we have to be spiritual. maybe it seems to be best to be close to family. man i wish my family really live in the same country/province...

the last several months have been...rough. my kids and i decided that we weren't celebrating this year...not until february when we get our income tax return in.

this is the first ever year that we have not gone home for christmas. child support stopped three months ago for no reason. the van's been broken down for over two months, and once i fix it...i won't be able to afford the trip.

soooo...even though i was fine with all this, my family wasn't. they are driving HERE the saturday before christmas to spend the day with us. mom, my aunt, my brother, sundry relatives...and are bringing my kids the presents that i can't get them.

the people i work with have banded together to provide me with rides back and forth to work...which drastically cut down on my walking. my work bought my girls each a hundred bucks worth of stuff...my coworkers gave me a card friday with a hundred bucks in it...my kids teacher adopted our family out...and then a friend REALLY blew me away:

my daughter got off her bus last week with light bulbs. i asked the driver what they were for, and she informed me that raegan had asked for them for christmas. kind of shocked, i inquired as to why. the driver said that raegan wanted to use them to fix the television. i had told my friend this cute story...and when she brought me home friday, her husband was waiting at my house with a 27 inch television for raegan!

so even while i'm tempted to slip into funk...the love of all these people, so unexpected, is dragging me back out into the world.

I know the feeling...I was in the Air Force a long time ago and I remember my first Thanksgiving and Christmas away from home. Several of us that couldn't go home got together and made a turkey dinner at one of the guys home. I told them I could cook..I was 18 and I never made a turkey in my life....It was a memorable time together. It was during the Viet Nam war. All I can say is your new friends and fellow sailors will become your new family for life.
Thank You for your committment.
May God Bless You and keep you safe.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
Peace

Thank you all for your comments. It is really nice to know that misery has company. Makes you feel less alone.