I'll Start...

Twelve pack of Bud,

how does it go?

Eleven GEDs!

eleven wrestling tickets

tin of copenhagen
9 yrs probation

11 cans of skoal
10 junk cars on the lawn
9 engine blocks in the living room
8 shirtless kids a screaming
7 dirty diapers
6 baby bottles of dr. pepper
5 cracked piiiiisssstttoooonnn rings
4 in-laws living here
3 over wieght sister
2 drunk brothers
and a wife who smokes like a chimeny!

I'll be one of the eight table dancers...

(Spoken) Woo! Somebody done been to the WalMart!
Man, this is the stuff I got for Christmas.
Well you cleaned up, whatcha get?

(Sung) 5 flannel shirts
4 big mud tires
3 shot gun shells
2 huntin dogs
And some parts to a Mustang GT

(Spoken) You got gypped, there's 12 days to Christmas!
I know that, i got it covered! Look over there in the corner!
That's yours too?
yeah!

(Chorus)(Sung)
12 pack of bud
11 wrestlin' tickets
Tin a' copenhagen
9 years probation
8 table dancers
7 packs of redman
6 cans of spam
5 flannel shirts
4 big mud tires
3 shot gun shells
2 huntin dogs
and some parts to a Mustang GT

(Spoken) Man, these ain't normal christmas presents!
Naw, they're Redneck Gifts!
Redneck gifts?
yeah, like if you buy your wife earrings that double as fishin' lures,
or if you can burp the entire chorus to jingle bells.
Perhaps if you think that the nut cracker is something you did off the high dive
or if you've ever misspelled anything in Christmas lights
or if you leave cold beer and pickled eggs for Santa Claus!
Whats wrong with that?
I didn't say anything's wrong with it, it's hard to beat..

(Chorus)

(Spoken) Well, you know you can't really consider it Christmas unless you go down to the penitentiary and visit your Momma
You're not listening to me, get the car key out of your ear, that's where the 9 years probation comes in.
Now I'm gonna do it for you again,listen

(Chorus)

(Spoken) Are you cryin?
Naw, just my allergies
Happy Holidays everybody!

(Spoken) Woo! Somebody done been to the WalMart!
Man, this is the stuff I got for Christmas.
Well you cleaned up, whatcha get?

(Sung) 5 flannel shirts
4 big mud tires
3 shot gun shells
2 huntin dogs
And some parts to a Mustang GT

(Spoken) You got gypped, there's 12 days to Christmas!
I know that, i got it covered! Look over there in the corner!
That's yours too?
yeah!

(Chorus)(Sung)
12 pack of bud
11 wrestlin' tickets
Tin a' copenhagen
9 years probation
8 table dancers
7 packs of redman
6 cans of spam
5 flannel shirts
4 big mud tires
3 shot gun shells
2 huntin dogs
and some parts to a Mustang GT

(Spoken) Man, these ain't normal christmas presents!
Naw, they're Redneck Gifts!
Redneck gifts?
yeah, like if you buy your wife earrings that double as fishin' lures,
or if you can burp the entire chorus to jingle bells.
Perhaps if you think that the nut cracker is something you did off the high dive
or if you've ever misspelled anything in Christmas lights
or if you leave cold beer and pickled eggs for Santa Claus!
Whats wrong with that?
I didn't say anything's wrong with it, it's hard to beat..

(Chorus)

(Spoken) Well, you know you can't really consider it Christmas unless you go down to the penitentiary and visit your Momma
You're not listening to me, get the car key out of your ear, that's where the 9 years probation comes in.
Now I'm gonna do it for you again,listen

(Chorus)

(Spoken) Are you cryin?
Naw, just my allergies
Happy Holidays everybody!

Hahahaha, that is great, I have never heard that one before. Ironically, I just watched Jeff Foxworthy on "Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader". Thanks guys, I sure needed the laugh tonight!!!

Tarzansgirl

Malibu, you kick so much ass... You just made my day.

Thanks..looks like Fallinangel and i found the lyrics the same time it's one of my fave holiday songs love the redneck stuff!!!

It just ain't Christmas without it...