When I was younger I messed up a good relationship I had, stupid kid making stupid mistakes. Because of it I got hurt, a lot. Withdrew from the whole scene, and haven't even considered a relationship in 18 years. Now I'm 37 and honestly don't know what to do.

Approaching complete strangers seems rude, and most dating sites seem like scams. Anyone have any advice?

I rarely give advice.... but it's never rude to just say hello, or good morning, or beautiful day to a stranger. And you never known it might lead to a conversation, conversation leads to a cup of coffee, which leads to dinner which.... well you get the point.
Good luck!

I sign this rare advice

Have you got any rare advice for me then?

Hi Thomas, welcome to Mingle2.

KitKat is right, it's never rude to say hello to someone. Plus with it being online, everyone here is here to either meet someone or socialize, and we're all strangers in the beginning. Talking to others is the "norm" here.

Relax, have fun and happy mingling

I'm in the same boat. Was in along term relationship when I was younger. Messed things up based on being immature. I haven't dated in years. My humble advice would be to have an open mind and have no expectations. The best things in life happen when you least expect it.

Could be worse....I've never even managed a date, and to be honest, don't expect to get that far. At least I have plants to talk to....although that makes me sound crazy!). 🤣🤣🤣

🤣only sounds crazy if they answer you

Well to be fair, the relationships I have had never started with dates. They kind of just happened. You know someone for a while and things progressed further. I don't believe I've ever actually just taken someone out for a dinner/movie style thing before.

And if one of them is named Audrey.

Start watching RSDTyler & rsdfreetour on youtube, he's 37 as well.
1 hour every day and start improving things.
Start with this one
https://youtu.be/qu-wFuDqZws

Even knowing someone for a while had a starting point...what was it? - a party, a festival, shopping center, community activity? the point is - as kitkat said "hello" sometimes is like pulling that one fruit from the market display and things start happening...Your path will be unique for you so use common sense, but toss any book you consider the "right way"...ok...fingers tired...my nickel

Okay... You made mistakes, and YOU got hurt.
What about HER? Was she hurt because of your
mistakes as well?

The ability to approach strangers, will only be
a small part of the equation.

The big part, is learning how, NOT to make the
mistakes of your past.

If you feel, that you have that covered...


Step up! Step forward!
You won't get anywhere, if you sit and mope.

Well yes, she got hurt as well. We both were hurt, I lost her trust, and to be honest I didn't trust myself anymore either. She meant a lot to me, and knowing that I hurt her, I hated myself for years.

I spoke with her years later, and while she had forgiven me, I only recently was able to forgive myself. I just didn't want to take a chance I'd hurt someone I cared for again.

Opening yourself up to the possibility of love necessarily means opening yourself up to the possibility of pain.

Maybe talk to a therapist so you can open up all your concerns. Wish you the best.

Well said Rock

You said you are 37, and you haven't had a relationship in 18 years?
That's a really long time for a relatively young man.

I am not trying to judge you for it. I have also experienced long periods of loneliness, in my life. I am just surprised.

I know it can, for some people, be very lonely. I know it was sometimes for me. It's very hard to get over someone you once loved very much.

Forgive yourself for the past. You were really young. We all make mistakes, especially when we are young.

I saw your profile. I liked what you had to say in the A Little About Me:
Section.

You can do this! It's really scary sometimes to put yourself out there, especially when you've been hurt badly before, by someone you love.



Have faith in yourself. I'm sure you have a lot to offer the right person, and your life could be enriched in so many ways.

Good Luck

Starting involves a lot of faith.
There is no right or wrong answer.
Have courage, and learn to deal with rejection.

See all about self esteem.Learn to see the best in you.

In short know what you love about yourself.Is it that you are smart or is it that you know alot about cooking or what's your favourite bird..or plant explain your interests to someone.
Ask them alot of questions.
Ask alot of questions.
That's how you start.