I've found that lots of people who behave "boorishly," (as I learned to call it in England) is that they never make it to the end-of-childhood recognition that not everyone assumes exactly the same things about everything.

So they think, for example, that if a woman signs up for a dating site, or goes to a party by herself, or walks down the street while dressed nicely, that it could ONLY mean that she is desperate for any guy to show serious interest. So they do so, in the only way they learned how (often without any redesign since elementary school), and if the woman fails to respond positively, they lash out angrily and accuse her of purposeful deception.

Often, this kind of guy is actually shy, but in a not-at-all charming way. They become angry upon being rejected, because they are EMBARRASSED, and as with many embarrassed people, their first urge is to blame the other person, not themselves. So they'll attack the individual if they can, and if they still have energy left, they'll often latch onto whatever popular "whipping boy" concept they see lying around. They'll declare that Women's Rights caused all women to be devious shrews and gold diggers; that Me Too is an insidious plot to keep them alone and lonely; and so on.

And yes, women aren't immune to the same general conditions. But no one person's bad behavior or maladjustment to adulthood excuses any other person's failures or errors.

I agree some use there childhood or past abuse as an excuse to hurt others it just a cop-out to excuse there actions I grew up with two mentally ill parents if I use that as an excuse to hurt others that would make me just as bad as them

Never learn about girls from my brothers. Other families may have a different take on that. Thing I learned from my sister is women prefer to marry and get treat like crap by scumbags. So I tried to stay away from her as much as I could because being around her acting like a THOT broke my heart.

Agree on the fact that women promote such behavior from men. Helping create more of the problems that are on dating sites. There is legit deviants surfing the web and regular guys/men take the blame for it. Over the last two years on sites I've seen more female trash then male trash when it comes to such things.

Humm myself men/women are only scumbags if you let them be that way towards you..

Men/Women have their faults~~~

No matter what we all have issues..

If one tolerates it they will continue... funny how some treat others bad till they find out that they will not tolerate it..

One needs to walk away when it happens and not let it eat them up inside thinking that all are that way~~~jmo

I had scumbag training at a very young age.
My narcissism was 'ingrained' from a very young age.

I do possess a fair level of intelligence and I have learned over the years how to gain wisdom from my experiences.

I have plenty of scumbag ammunition in my mind locker but I "Choose" not to use it.
I "Choose" instead to remove my expectations from my idea of who others are and allow them to show me who they really are.
When I do not want that person in my reference experience, I move along.
Allowing them to be them and me to be me.

My self-esteem does not hinge on making others feel bad.
It used to, but I found that method to be unstable.

it is more about equality, for me. why do men get "harassed for really really serious relationships and not women?"

...thank Goodness, women don't have to put up with men claiming, I will be happy to get serious with You, after I have gotten serious with All of the other ones, first.

Seriously dude... think about it~~ it is due to those that get harassed is just out for a piece of arse~~

how do you know? how many times have you been a woman? it’s all in approach, if
some guy appears desperate for sex, then yes, I’m looking for a really really serious relationship; otherwise, charm me.

The desperate for sex thing sounds reasonable, but I have even gotten beat over the head about how she was looking for a serious relationship when I have tried asking about hobbies and things to do for fun. A common response I get is with her saying she isn't wanting to talk about fun, she wants to talk about a serious relationship. To me that is too uptight.

Apparently you survived your head injury! That’s good. I’m taking this from the point of
just dating, I’m never at the mind set of something serious. And I’ve experience the serious relationship
coming from the guy, so it really isn’t all that gender specific, which is why I was calling out that
“equality” comment. And yes, uptight (and drama), not for me.

Oh, I guess I misread your comment. It appeared that you were disagreeing with Ctr when he mentioned equality. Thanks for clarifying.

Wait, did I contradict myself? lol
I do disagree with the “why do men get harassed... and not women”.
Women do too, so he can quit whining about equality, (please).

I don't like this topic too much but I had something to add to it. Just about every guy I ever dated had sisters. I think boys/men grow up in a household with women to learn and show respect to them. I married a man with 3 brothers and no sisters. He didn't really have many good things to say about his mother. He didn't have a good female influence and I did not see that, and that's my mistake.

You would hope that as mature adults none of us would want drama but sadly there are people out there that seem to thrive on it. But I agree with Bastet it doesn't seem to be gender specific.
One thing that I do find really amusing is there are some women that just assume that all men are sex starved and think they are therefore going to be able to manipulate us. When it doesn't work they either are speechless or curious.

I think what I said was better, but say what you want.

and, getting harassed for a really really serious relationship is better?

a lot of women from out of State seem to want a really really serious relationship without even doing me first.

no local or out of State women are harassing me for sex, only really really serious relationships.

right on sister