Yep, you can't help how other people take things. I don't see what's wrong with saying you want to be friends with someone. It's better than saying I don't like you and I don't want to talk to you anymore.

If you want to be most decent, cuppy you need to figure out *what* isn't right for you about your nice guy. It will help you in the future and help you now explain to this man that he should go away.

If you think he shouldn't go away, then you'd better be able to explain that. Otherwise, what is there to do? Are you judging prematurely? Does he have expectations you are not willing to meet?

What is not working out?

When you can answer that, everything else falls into place naturally.

(if you cannot define it, you haven't a clue as to what it is)

Okay, here it is, I love to show public attention, like kissing and hugging and he is not like that. I can't stop who I am or change that with him. He doesn't seem to want to be playful, because he thinks its a game that women play. I don't like being stereotyped. I do things because I want to with that person. What the hell am I doing wrong?

Nothing that is his issue not yours. If he thinks all women do this or that, you need to dump him. He has a low opinion of them.

IF you think he's a good guy and worth keeping, TALK TO HIM and tell him what you need. Don't threaten him. Tell him that this is what you need in a relationship. How many of our problems could be easily solved if we would just have talked more to our ex's. But we're afraid of hurting them, or them being mad at us. Maybe the guy would say "look, that's just not me." Maybe he would say "Wow, that sounds hot!" Maybe "nice guys" like I used to be, just never learned how to truly act in front of a woman. You always hear how you're supposed to be nice. And when it doesn't work, you think you have to be nicer. That's not it though. And I'm glad I learned that.

Just my opinion , cuppy, but if you are not feeling the chemistry, tell him honestly, and openly that , "ITS" just not there... he will understand I would think as this relationship is just beginning , right ??

My opinion.........your not doing anything wrong!!!!!!!!!

I am the same way...love to show affection, play around, etc.......

So, if he can't loosen up for you a bit and allow himself to have some fun.......then maybe he will miss out on possibly one of the best women that he will ever encounter.

Kay

Thankyou sexyasskay for the compliment. I have a lot to offer and I would put in 110% to my relationship, but I would want this guy to do the same. I don't think I am asking too much. OMG, this would be so easy for him.

Ok so i see something here... I am new to the thread and have been reading...

See do you still love your husband?

Because that may be why you dont feel this is going any futher. You already had the man of your dreams, so this guy is just whats left over. You could continue it, maybe you will fall further in love with him.

I dont know why women cant understand that the easiest way to break a guys heart is lead him on. If you dont feel the same way, put it like this:

"Can I tell you something? I like you a lot, but not in a dating way. I would really like to keep what we have growing as a friendship. I feel I could develop a long lasting trust with you, but im sorry im just not sexually attracted to you."

You can even include something like this:

"I have friends who would love a guy like you, and I would love to help you in your journey to find love, if you'll let me"

Basically what that is telling him is you want to be friends and want to help him find someone. He might interpret it as you pawning him off, so be careful. I have often wished that a girl wanting to break up with me would use that one because at least it would be easier than what they normally say.

Don't get me wrong, im no nice guy by any means, ok well maybe i am but im getting more away from that, because if a woman wanted a guy who was weak they would keep them. Women want a guy who i strong, who can protect them, go out into the world and make his stand.

To the nice guys in this thread, do this. Next time that woman says your too nice for her try being a little bit on the stronger side, and if you can get her to agree to being friends its a step back up the ladder.

Yes i would say, communication is vital to any relationship. I know that when a woman tells me how she wants is, I tend to cave. But if she doesnt, I'm the one laying down the parameters.

Without communication its going to eventually fail anyway, so if you see communication as the problem, and you cant fix it, tell him that you dont feel you can communicate.

I think the nice guy is probably being miss interpreted. He is great to talk too, we enjoy so many similar things, we have the same goals, but if I can't have that full 100%, I just can't settle.

Actually, yes I will always love my late husband and no I am not looking for someone like him or compare him too. Everyone out there has something very special about them. That is what makes them who they are. I have room in my heart to love someone and I need to love someone, because I am lost without it now. Oh so stressed.