This is probably in the wrong topic, and who this is for is not on this site, but I just feel like I just have to let some things out right now, so this is where I'm going to let it out. This topic can get moved or deleted, whatever needs to happen can happen. I don't care, so here goes...

To my ex, this isn't you against me or anything. I don't have any ill feelings towards you. As far as how you're acting right now, I don't see a crazy unfit mother. I see a scared woman, acting out in fear. You're intentions are not wrong, but your actions are dangerous and harmful to us all. I get that you want to run away and get away from me but that's not an option, we have two beautiful children together.

I may not be the biological father of our daughter, but she is my daughter. I've been there for both our children since before they were born. I was the second person they saw, aside from the doctors and you. I was the second person to ever hold them, aside from you and the doctors. your daughter calls me daddy, and she will always be my little girl, no matter what. I don't care what anyone says or whats written on any piece of paper. I was the one who signed the birth certificate originally. I will always be there for her just as much as I will always be there for my biological son. You can push me away as much as you want and the law and courts can give you those rights, but I will fight back and I will be there for my children no matter what.

To my children, know that I have fought for you and will always fight for you. You are my number priority and why I live today, you're the reason for everything I do. The mistakes I've made, I've made so you don't have to make. What I've done right, I've done to give you the best life possible.

All I wanted was to find true love and have a family of my own. I thought I found that, but apparently I was mistaken. My heart breaks and I can't hide the pain of knowing how I have failed you despite how good my intentions were. The only thing that matters to me in this world is you. You are my everything. I just hope that you can how much I truly love and you can forgive me for my mistakes. I hope you love you as much as I love you.

TOTAGE -- this is only an idea. what you wrote is clear and loving. Why not copy that and write it as a letter and mail it to her. I realize she may toss it, or choose not to read the whole thing. But life is full of taking chances. I myself if upset, am more apt to read a letter than to listen to the person on the phone, or let him/her in the front door. I feel sad that you hurt so much. Been there, done that. of course, there are 2 sides to every story. But the ones that really get hurt the worst are the children. Just think it over, and maybe write that in a letter. Good Luck.

I agree with nature lady it might fall on deaf ears but you could at least try it. Good luck

and tomorrow is another day
<face palm>
best wishes

I empathize with the hardship you're contending with, TOTAGE. I admire your commitment to loving your children and being present in their lives. Hang in there man.

It's been said and written to her several times. All that's left now is to keep fighting for my children, make sure they have a voice and it is heard. Try my best not to use my voice as theirs, and still find a way to love their mother. I refuse to let hate and anger into my heart no matter what she does. She is and always will be my children's mothers and I won't let anything jeopardize me and my children's relationship. I will always be there for my children and will protect them from anything, their mother and myself included.

Totage ... have read some of your other posts about this and they came across as very angry ., it is good that you are over that phase and looking at how you can move forward . Hopefully you have lots of support around you

Duh I'm angry, but some things are more important than me. I love my children and will do anything for them. That includes putting them before me myself. Yeah, a .38 and a case of bullets is always just a pay check a away, but there's a risk that it would harm my children and so that eliminates it as an option. As ****ed up as the system is, I have to give it a chance for now. If it fails, there are other routes for me to take, and I am prepared to take certain routes, ensuring my children come first always and forever.

if a stranger can pick up on anger projection then I am sure your ex and children can too . Nothing will resolve till you deal with that ., have you had any counselling ., not getting at you totage just an observation .

It goes both ways. You can't put all of the blame and responsibility on one person. Both parties are to blame and responsible. It doesn't matter how hard one side works if the other is not willing to and not doing anything.

You are right and I am not blaming you .. it takes two people for a relationship to fall apart . Anger is destructive and affects communication ..whether one sided or from both sides . It is okay to be angry .. but how you move through that is up to you .

You might find starting a journal will help you sort your thoughts.
It didn't work for me but it did work for others I have talked with that are going thru turmoil.

A caution you might consider is not to attempt journaling on a dating site forum. While some will give you positive feedback, any feedback you get will be kinda lopsided because we couldn't possibly know all the details needed to give any meaningful advice.

Personally, I make pros and cons lists and do the journaling in my head.
A journal can help you sort it out, especially if you go back every so often and reread what you wrote and consider how your thoughts and feelings have changed since then.

Its just a suggestion and you should always feel free to post whatever you want in the forums within the forum rules.
Personally, I hope you find your inner harmony but then, I hope everyone finds their personal contentment.

I appreciate your suggestion, and it can be therapeutic for some to journal, but it doesn't work for me. I've tried.

I do document things for court purposes, but that's a bit different.

Excuse me bro but who are you having trouble with i mean no disrespect but whos the mother of your child because im going thru the exact thing you are going thru ? inhooe that i apologize for anything you might get upset for but this is whats happening to me

It's no one here or anything. It's an all too common issue. You need a lawyer, even if you think you can do it on your own. The system is set against us and tends to favor the mother, even when there are issues. When you choose a lawyer take your time and do your research. You don't want the wrong one. Stay strong and never give up, keep fighting for your children.

Totage. sorry to hear of your problems. when my first marriage went belly up, I was pretty stirred up for a good while , I still remember how it feels. my daughter was everything to me. her mother left me for a chap that didn't work out, and she got custody.

It doesn't help you cause to express any anger, I know its really hard, it took me 6 months to calm down. no really 6 months. you have to stay calm at all times. let some time go by. its all about acceptance. All you can do is take it on the chin, and wait for the bruises to heal. I know you want to do something now,
But there are no easy answers. Give yourself time off.

My daughter comes to see me now all the time, it gets better.....in time..

Very good advice Steve

I appreciate what youre saying but acceptance is just another word for giving up. Ill always fight for my kids.