If a Man is serious about a Woman, he should be able to win her Over to like and appreciate him. Women who try to win men is unsuccessful.
I am speaking of men who desire an Exclusive Relationship.
Not many fall into this category on some date sites.

Comments welcome

Is 'exclusive' the same as 'serious'?

Anyways, why should a woman not take the first steps? Nothing wrong with that, as long as mutual feelings can develop. JMO

Imo it doesn't matter who makes the first moves. As long as the people involved are open znd up front about what they are seeking and where they hope it winds up.

double post.

I agree with everything you said from my experience. I feel a woman can Indirectly make moves but not directly. But then maybe I was focusing on wrong men as well.

k lets see how much trouble we can get into on this one : )


i would say false , reason in being the want has to be in both parties
if one party don't want it, then it aint happenen or will fall apart


wait, what ? i have known many friends where there ladys won there mans heart
but i could see this in other place , well and even here , that the female or male was below them (not my way of looking at fellow humans , but sadly some still do)


hhmm k , well kinda guessed that cause if they wasn't wanting a relationship then yeah, prob not goen happen


i don't know , i wasn't hunten guys

but i think as for the most part humans are hard wired to want to be around others ... Doc could tell ya better on that (she is a shrink after all), but i aint seen her on in a long time : (
<shrug>
people come
people go

Women " talk" with their eyes.. and the eyes never lie. A lot of guys don't know how to read the eyes.

If, by "win her Over to like and appreciate him," you mean, behave AS himself, revealing his true self to her, then I agree with you. I think that's the way BOTH of them should figure things out.

Your point of view that "women who try to win men" are unsuccessful, I agree with.

I just know from my male perspective, that men, who try to "win" women, are EQUALLY unsuccessful.

I'm basically thoroughly opposed to the entire idea of "winning" someone.

It's not that I don't value the love of another person over all other aspects of life. It's that I DO value it so much.

It's just that I've been convinced, that if I have to...perform in special ways, or do some fancy dance, or in any way restructure my natural self, in order to persuade someone to like me....it means that they really don't like ME, after all.

@ Igor
I do believe every man should be himself. However, it shouldn't be a problem for him to go out if his way to do something that may be pleasant ,for the Woman he is interested in.

Nor her to do the same for him! Those behaviors do not lead to a long term, fulfilling relationship as when one of them stops doing, the relationship will fail!! I think this is where we hear one of them crying "he/she doesn't love me anymore".

It is in my central nature to "go out of my way" to care for and try to bring joy to anyone I care about. It pleases me to please them.

However, whenever someone makes it clear that I have a list of things that I MUST do for them, in order to "prove my love," or to "win theirs," I rebel.

If I am "going out of my way," and the other person thinks it's "to be expected," I am unlikely to "go out of my way" for them again.

I think this sort of fits in with Toody's question. When I was in high school and college, I never had a dime in my purse. It was common knowledge in the midwest at least, that if a boy or man asked you out, HE paid. The boys i dated in high school that had a car but no money took girls on a drive to the lake to watch the sunset or drove them home from a ball game. the older boys paid for movies, burgers, etc.

NOW, i know some women who pay for everything, even getting down to buy the guys shirts and boots. I think there's nothing wrong for first dates getting acquainted to "go dutch" and figure it out from there. ???

notpayforpay -- gonna send my daughter the EYE picture you posted --- she works at a half-way house for teens and some days THEY look that way...other times she works a 14 hour day and SHE looks like that. LOL

Life is way too short, to be taken seriously.



Serious relationships?
Hell to the nah!
I want a FUN relationship.

This was responding not to You! You're responses are usually not for Commitment.

I understand your point and I agree. It least you have the mind to go the extra mile for a woman you care about . I am Not referring to any list. she may have for you to do.

Yes, I like your examples and response.

I think "win over" may be a bad term either way. Interest the other party perhaps. Relationships should be fluid, with give & take and it doesn't matter who starts it. Even with the guy starting it, if he doesn't get some sort of positive feedback from the gal he's gonna loose interest shortly in this microwave world and move on. And if you try and change someone that will lead to friction and hatred. But people are so multidimensional they can be shifted to show different aspects of themselves. A simplistic example would be that I used to love playing tennis with some girlfriends. When the next girlfriend hated tennis, it didn't change me or break us up, I just found another aspect that matched this new girl and filled in the void with it. Same me but may appear "Changed" to some. Ol' guys 2 cents.

@ Bob
Thanks for your response. I like hearing others points of view especially those who don't put a Negative spen on a relationship thread.
There are some people still seeking Relationships not just hookups.

I think I read your comments as a compromise also. Some men do not even know how to compromise or give and take in a relationship.

AMEN