If you are just dating someone and you go out with someone else too , I don't believe that would be called cheating, because you have no real commitment.

Comments welcome

Christ.....women just love the c word.
What do we have to do? Wonder up to you in the playground, and say, will you be my girlfriend? Because apparently that's not what you want.
For me, if you go on a date, and it goes well, then hopefully, you go on another date, with that same person. For me, that has meaning. And if that happened to me, and I discovered that the person I had been going out with, was going on dates with other people too. I would be gutted.
So yes, I'd say it is. And surely at some point in these dates, the, are you seeing anyone / dating anyone? Conversation came up.

I think it depends upon how openly you communicate with the people you are dating.

If say, we were on a date and having a great time and were talking and you mentioned that this thursday night you and another fellow are going out to dinner and some theater, I would not be too shook up.

But, if you mention that you haven't been out on a date for a long time and that you want to go out with me again to see if this connection holds the meaning you hope it does and then I see you out on thursday night with another fellow, we won't have a second date.

To me, a date is just a date util someone makes it more than that.
If we start from the get go knowing that either of us can openly date others, there is no betrayal of intent.
If we start from the get go that we are to be exclusive to each other, then 'other' dates is a betrayal.

The communication must be clear tho.
If one thinks its an open relationship where the other thinks its exclusive, then there will be hurt and anger.

Its all about honest communication.

I agree with Tom and R2..

The biggest thing is communication.

If you've both decided you were open to dating other people, then no it's not cheating.

If you both decided that you're dating exclusively then yes, it's cheating.

If you have been dating for a while, and decide you want to date another man/woman... then out of respect for the one you are dating, I believe you should let them know your intentions and they can decide whether they are okay with that or want to stop dating you.

@tom

I like the way you explained this topic!

If a woman doesn't say I want to be exclusive in dating you, then you feel it is open to dating others.

So often women date a man, the guy never said he was dating only her. Then she finds out he's seeing another woman and calls him a cheater.

Older people should really know better. Communication is the Key.

I went out a few times with a man, when he found out that I was talking to another man, the guy I went out with said, it's either him or the other guy.
So I chose the other guy.

I don't do well with ultimatums.

There was no talk of being inclusive dating and we were just friends no benefits.

I found that odd.

I don't think anyone likes ultimatums Toody.

I guess some people just assume you're exclusive, even if you're still just dating and haven't moved passed being platonic. I think that's why communication is important.

It depends on what your core beliefs are. Some feel just dating means you're open to dating others. Some feel going out once means you're exclusive... neither is wrong, it's how we react to others beliefs and feelings that are wrong.

if i am dating , then i am tied to one , not looken for anythen else , i never dated more then one lady at a time
<shrug>


weather it be cheaten or not is all up to you all

to me if i was daten a lady i would hope she wouldn't be daten some one else , and if she was cheating , then i would be walken
but again that is me
<shrug>

@River
I felt the man had poor communication skills Worst than mine.

He was a Windower only one year so he was still hurting from loss I think.

Actually he forced me to act and I didn't really. want too loose him.

That's understandable, he probably wasn't quite ready yet to be with someone. Maybe the thought of you being with someone else was threatening to him, like he might lose you too?

I don't know. I don't believe anyone can force us to act... it's our choice. They can act in such a way that prompts us to act more quickly but unless he put a gun to your head, he didn't force you.

I think sometimes our pride gets in the way and causes us to do things we might regret later. That's on us though, not anyone else's fault

@River

You would make a good Counselor !

I felt like choking him!

Thank you, for the compliment

You're welcome !

I think that once you enter the intimate with someone where betrayal is potentially hurtful, its considered an unwritten exclusivity.

Going out to dinner or a movie or something with someone is just what friends do. "Lets Do Lunch" kinda thing.
But when you come into someones home and meet their kids as their GF or BF, looked in their cupboards and spent time with them in unofficial date environments there is a personal connection made that doesn't exist with just friends.
Whether said or not, most will take that personal connection as a sign of being exclusive to each other.
Once that happens, it is even more important to honestly communicate so nobody gets the wrong idea.

Women are common to opening up while chatting. They tell you personal stuff that indicates to a man that she wants to be exclusive. Men don't open up their personal feelings to many people. Of course we will get confused as to your intentions unless you actually say what you mean about the relationship.

"She told me all about her menstrual pain and how her sister treats her. She must be serious about us?"
Then, Thursday night we see her with another guy having fun and its like knives thru our hearts but, we won't admit to being that vulnerable.
As dense as us men can be sometimes, most of us do possess pretty good memory whether we will admit to it or not.
If the communication is there and there have been no conflicting signals to indicate those conditions have changed we can dismiss those knives thru the heart and remember that we are not supposed to be exclusive.
AND, if you're really the prize we have been waiting for, it might inspire us to try to actually enter into an exclusive agreement so we can have you to ourselves.

It's all fun and games,
until someone gets butthurt.

Then, it's friggin' hilarious.

@,Tom
More men should think like You when it comes to Women and dating.Imo
I like the explanations and examples you gave .

This last guy activity partner tried to invade my personal space by coming by my home uninvited , so I didn't welcome him in. He left then. This happen two different times one month apart.

We had an agreement to just meet out have fun. Communicate and go separate ways. He has a woman, who thinks she is his girlfriend for two years now. I feel he is not doing her any real justice by looking for someone else now. He told me she isn't but I am not sure what he tells her.

I still talk on group meetings with the guy but keep my distance. He crossed the line.

Most Men seem to get signals crossed around me!! These men are older than me even.

What did I get out of this topic? After going on 1 date with a guy who likes me, he wants to be exclusive, and I should feel the same.

Until both agree verbally that it is exclusive, it is not! Never assume, you will get hurt.