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| Topic: What are you doing to find that great love? | |
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You don't have to explain it to me, Crystal. I got it!  
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I stop answering text and they stop texting me. It's ok, I have cats. 
Me too, haha, but having a nice dinner with them is a tad awkward. The smell of Whiskas, and they sit on the table 
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I'd say that about 95% of the men I've dated, I met by chance. I met someone at a flea market, in the supermarket, at the gym, Walking around town. I was on 1 blind date, which wasn't great. You see, I've been out and talk to people. great to hear! I've always wondered about the supermarket. Most ppl are in a hurry, on their way home from work or otherwise wanting to get out of there asap. So nice to hear it is possible to meet someone there :) Funny you mention a blind date. I've never been on one. Up until recently wouldn't have done it either. Now I would. Not from desperation, I'm far from desperate, but just out of curiosity.
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So... all this talk about love & relationships & dating and stuff... What is it you actually DO in order to find love? Are you making an effort, member of dating-sites, going out to meet people, actively dating? Or not doing anything much about it, hoping someone will miraculously appear? In short: If you want love are you doing something so it can happen? (and what?) You can't...FIND love. Many will disagree with me but I do have reasons for that statement. Love is something that is felt within. It's 100% personal. It can't be found, sold, boxed up and placed on a shelf, gathered in a circle, given to someone or pulled from someone. Its a series of emotional states, manerisms and considerations we make within ourselves concerning how we "FEEL" for someone else. Some of us are able to effectively demonstrate our feelings of love towards another but will only have an "effect" on how they feel about us. If they then 'feel' love for us in return, the love they 'feel' is also 100% personal within them. The Search FOR Love is a romanticized delusion. The search is for someone that you can love who may also feel love for you and is willing to demonstrate their feelings for you. This is why its possible for you to feel love for someone yet they feel no love for you. Personally, I don't search for love (Ihave plenty of love already). I search for someone that might feel love for me that I can feel love for them in return. Someone who accepts my demonstration of love and demonstrates the love they feel for me in return. If everything about her sets my heart on fire AND Everything about me sets her heart on fire and we both demonstrate it towards one another That's what I'm searching for. I get all that. Simply fact of the matter is that if you do nothing you will get nothing. If you want to find love, or want it to find you, you have to make sure it CAN find you. If you sit on your bum all day indoors, it cannot come. You'll have to do something towards it, albeit go out so you are among people or go on dating sites so you can talk to people and can find someone or be found. It's not like you sit on your rear end all day or every evening and weekend that someone is going to miraculously knock on your door to say "Here I am!!!" And THAT'S what I was asking about. What do people do so they can find it, or in order to be found? You can't find the love of your life when you do nothing. If that was the case we'd all have found them ages ago. I don't get why I have to explain this, it's not rocket science, it's rather logical even though it's a feeling thing. It's not unlike wanting a job. You won't find that either if you just sit on your rear end hoisting beer or whatever. You gotta take action.
All of this. I get so tired of people that say if you look for someone to be with, search for a compatible person, it won't happen...you can't force it...it just has to happen... (you're trying too hard) But yet those same people wouldn't use that criteria for *anything else* (looking for a job, finding a new house or apartment)... Like you said..you *have* to put in effort.. Go places where people with similar interests will be (festivals, social events, galleries, what have you)... Be on dating sites. And so forth. Like you said..if you sit home on your bum doing nothing..you'll never meet anyone. Those people that say "the right person will just show up at your door....it will just happen"...I don't know what movies they saw, but...none of my long terms started that way...and no one I know had theirs start that way either... If that romanticized, storybook thing happened to you or someone you know...fabulous...great..I am happy for them. But, to me, it's like the Lottery.....you *can't* win if you don't play... Exactly, love that last line :) Sums it up nicely.  
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Love last only 3 years my
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Iām doing absolutely nothing to find it because HE found ME! 
And I married him last week! 
This happened when I stopped looking   
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If I was looking I'd take my Yorkie for a walk in a near by park. Women love friendly cute dogs and the Yorkie too.
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Iām doing absolutely nothing to find it because HE found ME!
And I married him last week!
This happened when I stopped looking
Exactly the point I always make. If a person searches for love they will not find it. Love will find them. It happened for you Dee. I am happy for you. You have proved that it works...
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I tried "not looking for it" for a little over 10 years. It didn't work.
Then I came here 8 years ago, and found something in just over 2 months. 
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I'm going to go work at a dude ranch this summer, become an expert horseback rider and get really good with the lasso
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Men beware! River's gonna hogtie us!
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Only for a minute
Kidding of course
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Hey, if it worked for cavemen, I suppose it could work for cowgirls!
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Hey, if it worked for cavemen, I suppose it could work for cowgirls!
I'm thinking it might work a little better, our spurs are much more attractive 
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I'm really not trying. I have decided if it happens it happens. In the mean time I am enjoying the friends I make along the way. I have met some really great people and they know who they are even if we have not met in person.
We chat and banter back and forth and have some laughs. If something does come of it over time great. |
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^^^ Exactly!!
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You have mentioned me too the tea
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Given up. Doesn't matter to me anymore.
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What am I doing to find that great love?
I'm praying for wisdom and searching the scriptures for encouragement, guidance and patience. The love of a human is short-lived and flawed. The love of God is the ONLY love worth searching for. It's perfect and everlasting. |
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I tried "not looking for it" for a little over 10 years. It didn't work. Then I came here 8 years ago, and found something in just over 2 months.
Exactly. You got to go somewhere to be able to find it or to be found. |
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