no further off topic than the mulder and scully post you just made

Maybe but less not continue that road. K

There are some fascinating thoughts and ideas expressed in this thread including things that have never occurred to me. I always took "out of his/her/my/your league" comments to pertain to physical traits. Not to sound judgemental or superficial but haven't we all seen a really attractive person with a not-so-attractive someone of the opposite gender and thought "how did that happen?"

Granted, the perceived attractiveness of each person is a matter of opinion - and in that regard I can definitely see how/why some would dismiss the whole thing as teen-like nonsense as it most certainly does not take into account what is inside each person, the common experiences they share, etc.

Good points, I enjoyed reading your comments!

Such an old fashioned statement ..it would surprise me if anyone really thought someone was out of their league .

Old fashioned, not !!

Welcome to the World ! Some do!

I'm so sorry, but is there anyone really being honest here?
To me 'out of their league' has nothing to do with money, but more general.
Can be age, can be looks, can be level of education, can be level of happiness & positivity and any combination of these.
If someone PMs me who looks like he's lost his zest for life 20 yrs ago, is fat and/or unsightly (other word for 'ugly'), or way too old or too young, I do feel they are way out of their league.

It's being realistic, knowing who you are and what type of person matches that. And if you are being realistic and honest to yourself, you know when someone is out of your league, and a sane person wouldn't even approach them.

true crystal, though looks, money and social circles are the most common applications and easiest to describe. the idea exists and even though it can be bypassed or ignored by some successfully. it offers the same pitfalls and challenges as mixed religion relationships. some differences can be to much to overcome

Right........ Op is not related to having money!

Well sometimes it's obvious. Nothing to do with a lack of self esteem.
Quite frankly I know Jennifer Aniston is out of my league.
Or any super model.
Sometimes things just don't need to be said.

I would describe that as "not a match".
Maybe I don't understand out of the league..

I think "not a match" comes down to the same thing pretty much? Like you knowing Jennifer Anniston or a supermodel is out of your league, you know you aren't a match.
You have a brain and wouldn't go for that.
I was trying to phrase things politely, lol, don't want to offend anyone.
But to be blunt: when a man with 6 underchins PMs me, or a man 15+ yrs older, or a man who seems depressed and miserable, I do think "Man, you are WAY out of your league! Go fish in another pond, one with fish that are a match for you."
And yes, looks are important in that sense too. We all know it, just when we voice that people (pre)tend to be shocked and to not do it themselves.
But let's be honest: I don't want to wake up in the morning, open my eyes and have the Bejesus scared out of me when I see my partner.
I don't need him to be Brad Pitt (actually don't like him, but alas), but seeing him must make me smile and feel love, not "Oh god..."
So if someone like that approaches me I do wonder what the hell he's thinking.
And to be honest, I do wonder how many in here have been fibbing about not doing the exact same thing.
.
.

I agree with you!

When I meet someone I want her to be in my league.
Now it's really not all that difficult to be in..
And yes, I admit that I have received a message from women that my initial thought was "Oh god" follow it by "few extra pounds my ***" or "average body type really, you think you have an average body?"
Or after a few emails, when she opened up about her life, all her drama, issues, etc I just wasn't going to deal with it.

See that's what I was thinking.
Like in my example Jennifer Aniston..
Who knows maybe we have a ton in common and we are a match!
But she is a Hollywood star, and we'll never be because yeah to be honest she superior to me.

The only ones that are out of our league are those we believe to be..We are all looking for similar things in life..mainly someone to love and to be loved back..I say that pretty much puts us all in the same "league"..Now we all may have different preferences but for me the term "out of my league" sort of intimates that one is inferior or superior to another..yea I just wont go there..Now do I get me shirt or not..

You can get your danged shirt, lol, just let us know what you want printed on it

your first line talks about 'expensive'....what are you referring to if not money?


That is only One thing!

Many. More things weigh into being, Out of his or her league.

Yes I did.

Sometimes I make mistakes!

Okay!!!!!

(^apparently the only response i'll be needing today)