Your church might Be A Redneck Church If:

People ask, when Jesus fed 5000, whether the
two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait
was used to catch 'em.

The pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to
help take up the offering," then five guys
and two women stand up.

Opening day of deer season is recognized as
an official church holiday.

A member of the church requests to be buried in
his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never
been in a hole it couldn't get out of."

With a congregation of 500 members, there are
only seven last names in the church directory.

Baptism is referred to as "branding."

People think "rapture" is what you get when
you lift something too heavy.

I must remember some of those LOL

A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "I can't stop passing gas. Luckily, my farts don't smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted twice since I've been here in your office, but you didn't even notice."
"I can help you," says the doc. "Take these pills and come back next week."
the next week, the lady returns. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what you gave me, but now my farts smell awful."
The doctor says, "Good, we fixed your sinuses! Now let's work on your hearing."