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Topic: Be yourself
msharmony's photo
Thu 03/15/18 11:33 AM
Edited by msharmony on Thu 03/15/18 11:34 AM
Be yourself is IMHO one of those pointless feel good phrases. I mean, every second we live we literally can't be anyone else. Even actors are still being themselves, they are being the version of themselves which acts as if they are a different person.

I think what people mean when they say they are 'being themselves' is really that they are being the VERSION that they wish to embrace and put forth, and at other times when they were not 'being themselves' they were not being the VERSION of themself they wish to embrace, usually because it resulted in too much pain or not enough pleasure for them or someone they cared about.

Could it be that we really are ALWAYS 'being ourselves', but we have the choice of which self we embrace?

Which self do you embrace? your best self or something else? if you embrace your best self, how do you describe that version?

I hope to grow and evolve in being the best self for whatever the situation involves. I would describe my ideal best self as : patient, balanced, spiritual, logical, and humble.

How do you describe your BEST self?


Tom4Uhere's photo
Thu 03/15/18 11:51 AM
I don't have a 'Best' version of myself.
I will always be that which I am now.
By now, I mean in the moment now, not a condition of existence others might classify me as.

I know that I am not the same person I was in the past.
Good and bad, its all just history.
Who I am at any given moment depends upon the conditions I am experiencing and the wisdom I have gained from past experiences.

How I am with you may be different from how I am with others.
How I am generally may be different from how I am specifically.
Then there is how I am within, which may be different still.

In all aspects of consideration the one constant is that I am being me.
I can not be otherwise, no matter how hard anyone tries.
I will not live up to other's expectations.
I can only try to live up to my own expectations.

Does it REALLY matter what anyone else thinks?
Do you live behind their eyes?
No matter what conditions others hold over you, it is always your life.
Its always your eyes you live behind.

Toodygirl5's photo
Thu 03/15/18 12:30 PM
I agree with Tom, that was well said!

Actually the OP was confusing.

Robxbox73's photo
Thu 03/15/18 12:58 PM
Too much expresso?

Just relax and be yourself...oops!

msharmony's photo
Thu 03/15/18 01:13 PM
nah, just another general question. Its cool if noone has EVER thought, "I could have done/been better in that moment" or "I will do/be better in another moment."

It was just something to ponder.
waving

no photo
Thu 03/15/18 01:41 PM

nah, just another general question. Its cool if noone has EVER thought, "I could have done/been better in that moment" or "I will do/be better in another moment."

It was just something to ponder.
waving



flowerforyou You make me smile.

yellowrose10's photo
Thu 03/15/18 01:45 PM
I agree with be yourself...the good, the bad, the ugly. IMO to not be yourself means ro be fake

no photo
Thu 03/15/18 03:36 PM

Be yourself is IMHO one of those pointless feel good phrases. I mean, every second we live we literally can't be anyone else. Even actors are still being themselves, they are being the version of themselves which acts as if they are a different person.

I think what people mean when they say they are 'being themselves' is really that they are being the VERSION that they wish to embrace and put forth, and at other times when they were not 'being themselves' they were not being the VERSION of themself they wish to embrace, usually because it resulted in too much pain or not enough pleasure for them or someone they cared about.

Could it be that we really are ALWAYS 'being ourselves', but we have the choice of which self we embrace?

Which self do you embrace? your best self or something else? if you embrace your best self, how do you describe that version?

I hope to grow and evolve in being the best self for whatever the situation involves. I would describe my ideal best self as : patient, balanced, spiritual, logical, and humble.


WOW !Such a thought provoking question, ''being myself'..or ''doing it my way'' can mean doing whatever comes naturally at the time, acting without restraint..and too bad if others get hurt, of course dictators do this all the time ...but surely cililisation means that we have to conform to standards of behaviour so that everything doesnt come to a grinding halt....I think it goes to the heart of being self aware and above all being responsible for my actions....good or bad, ....the fact that humans have bigger brains than other apes means that we can

How do you describe your BEST self?



no photo
Thu 03/15/18 03:42 PM
Edited by Walker001951 on Thu 03/15/18 03:45 PM

Be yourself is IMHO one of those pointless feel good phrases. I mean, every second we live we literally can't be anyone else. Even actors are still being themselves, they are being the version of themselves which acts as if they are a different person.

I think what people mean when they say they are 'being themselves' is really that they are being the VERSION that they wish to embrace and put forth, and at other times when they were not 'being themselves' they were not being the VERSION of themself they wish to embrace, usually because it resulted in too much pain or not enough pleasure for them or someone they cared about.

Could it be that we really are ALWAYS 'being ourselves', but we have the choice of which self we embrace?

Which self do you embrace? your best self or something else? if you embrace your best self, how do you describe that version?

I hope to grow and evolve in being the best self for whatever the situation involves. I would describe my ideal best self as : patient, balanced, spiritual, logical, and humble.

How do you describe your BEST self?





WOW !Such a thought provoking question, ''being myself'..or ''doing it my way'' can mean doing whatever comes naturally at the time, acting without restraint..and too bad if others get hurt, of course dictators do this all the time ...but surely cililisation means that we have to conform to standards of behaviour so that everything doesnt come to a grinding halt....I think it goes to the heart of being self aware and above all being responsible for my actions....good or bad, ....the fact that humans have bigger brains than other apes means that we can have empathy with other beings , human and animal.......so , obviously I'm just a man, imperfect, but willing to improve, so my 'best self' is a kind man who means no harm to anyone on the planet, who lives for the happiness of his family, and NEVER cheats on his wife, even it was a long time ago.......:)...

Beachfarmer's photo
Thu 03/15/18 05:49 PM
And I've often been told that you only can do
What you know how to do well
And that's be you,
Be what you're like,
Be like yourself,
And so I'm having a wonderful time
But I'd rather be whistling in the dark

Whistling in the Dark..They Might Be Giants

IgorFrankensteen's photo
Thu 03/15/18 06:50 PM
I've always seen sort of two LAYERS of this common advice.

On the lower "level," is the mostly mindless advice to "just be yourself," as a sort of sop to the people who are hungry for affection and love, and see everyone around them having a good time, while they suffer. It's mostly mindless, because I don't believe most people who say it, really think things through. They just spout the phrase as obvious "wisdom," in the hopes that the person in pain will shut up and go away.

On the higher level, it's pretty complicated to actually "be yourself." Mainly, because you have to figure out who and what "yourself" actually is, first, and that is surprisingly difficult for most people. That in turn, is because most of us at least start out, behaving in ways that we copy from everyone else around us, including stories and mass media presentations. It takes a fair amount of living, to work out who you ACTUALLY are, and then it takes real work, to rearrange your lifestyle and personal habits to support what you learn.

It's a lot like other common "clever" advice people get, but can rarely put into practice at all easily, like "just do the Right Thing."

no photo
Thu 03/15/18 08:22 PM
Maybe instead of telling people to be themselves, we should advise them that being the version of themselves that wants to be who they believe the person they want to like them to be, never works out. laugh

Tom4Uhere's photo
Thu 03/15/18 11:43 PM
I think this is another example of people making a simple thing out to be more complicated than it needs to be.
People are really good at THAT.

There is a way of thinking that says be what you are or fake it till you are.
I suspect there are a lot of people in the 'fake it' stage of becoming.
Having the capacity to 'fake it till you are' is commendable when you're faking it to try to become a better person.

As Igor implies, Its important to truly understand yourself before you can 'become' who you really want to be.
There are a lot of things that get in the way but your own mental picture of who you want to be is often the hardest to rectify.
Unless you truly know yourself first.
Keyword is 'truly'.

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Fri 03/16/18 04:13 AM
I think being yourself boils down to loving yourself enough that you don't worry so much about what other people think, that you have to be a certain way or else you won't get accepted / be liked / get that job and so on.
It's about dropping all the masks we've put on throughout life.
I think it's difficult to say who you are because we come to identify ourselves with those masks.
In other words: to not be controlled by our wounded ego.

Who I am... someone who connects people, brings joy, but also leadership as long as it pertains to the part that directly deals with people. I am creative, so I need a certain amount of freedom to be able to function.

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Fri 03/16/18 04:23 AM

Be yourself is IMHO one of those pointless feel good phrases. I mean, every second we live we literally can't be anyone else. Even actors are still being themselves, they are being the version of themselves which acts as if they are a different person.

I think what people mean when they say they are 'being themselves' is really that they are being the VERSION that they wish to embrace and put forth, and at other times when they were not 'being themselves' they were not being the VERSION of themself they wish to embrace, usually because it resulted in too much pain or not enough pleasure for them or someone they cared about.

Could it be that we really are ALWAYS 'being ourselves', but we have the choice of which self we embrace?

Which self do you embrace? your best self or something else? if you embrace your best self, how do you describe that version?

I hope to grow and evolve in being the best self for whatever the situation involves. I would describe my ideal best self as : patient, balanced, spiritual, logical, and humble.

How do you describe your BEST self?



I wonder how you can be spiritual and still feel it is a good thing to be humble...
How about embracing your own Light, standing up tall in it, and shining, saying: "This is who I am! I am a beautiful child of God/Goddess/Source, a Divine being. It is my birthright to stand tall, to shine in the Light that is Me. I do not have to make myself small just so others feel more comfortable. It is my birthright to be me, to be proud in and of all my glory!"
Pride by the way isn't a bad thing, that's just what church tells people. Sure pride from the ego isn't good, but there's another form of pride which comes from the higher ego, from the heart and is simply Love of Self.

I'm quite sure you know Marianne Williamson's Return to Love. I wonder if you'd read that beautiful speech, and let it sink in, you'll still feel being humble is admirable.

I don't mean this as criticism or an attack. Just that I'm dumbfounded that a woman with so much wisdom and a loving heart could feel that being humble is a wonderful quality.

Dodo_David's photo
Fri 03/16/18 04:47 AM
First, you Humans tell me, "Be yourself."
Then, you Humans tell me, "Don't eat cats."
Well, which is it?

Rooster35's photo
Fri 03/16/18 04:53 AM
My best self is the side I display everyday when I'm not being attacked, belittled or insulted.
You don't want to meet my other side, believe me laugh

Stu's photo
Fri 03/16/18 04:54 AM

First, you Humans tell me, "Be yourself."
Then, you Humans tell me, "Don't eat cats."
Well, which is it?


laugh Alf? Is that you?

no photo
Fri 03/16/18 01:18 PM

My best self is the side I display everyday when I'm not being attacked, belittled or insulted.
You don't want to meet my other side, believe me laugh


Same here. I'm not the same in every situation as I'm more of a 'reactive person'

Rooster35's photo
Fri 03/16/18 01:31 PM


My best self is the side I display everyday when I'm not being attacked, belittled or insulted.
You don't want to meet my other side, believe me laugh


Same here. I'm not the same in every situation as I'm more of a 'reactive person'
:thumbsup:

I'm like a mirror. What you dish out comes back at you instantaneously.

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