....is a hard HARD word!
The conotation itself suggests giving up your beliefs. I don't venture much into the political threads for this very reason. I find futility empty. Polarization abounds.

The light hearted chat, dating, etc. threads are where I find entertainment and peace. In other social media I have a beloved friend that I disagree with on MOST social issues (if that makes any sense). We have an agreement to disagree and avoid commenting on subjects that each other finds devisive (at least in public).

Can you hold your tongue with someone you might TOTALLY disagree with, or at least conduct yourself in a civil manner?

With friends they know me, so we can agree to disagree on some issues.

We can be civil and get along.

Online is totally different I Don't know that person and they don't know me and it is difficult to know the real person many times just by what they write in a forum. Imo

There was a thread nearly 10 years ago. "How To Piss Off Your Parents"

Long story short (minus nuiances)..a "stranger" and I decided that I would go to a GOP Rally and he would go to a Pot Fest after much debate lol.

Point is that we found a way to let it go, laugh, and respect each other.
(I don't/didn't even smoke pot anymore...he didn't actively go to Right Wing rallys)...we found an amicable way.

I am associated with someone who has COPD which exaggerates some aspects of his character which are very annoying. He will deny it, but I know he's dying, so there are days I hold my piece and other times I go so far and then stop.

I think sometimes a person has to give somebody space and you need to give yourself space, then reason with each other when you cool off. Each situation is different. If things get too unclear and confusing, it's time to evaluate and think about how important that relationship is.

There was one theory I heard of once which said every contact you have constitutes a relationship, whether it be for business, association, friendship, family, platonic, intimate, or whatever. Sometimes you have to draw the line and say, "that's it". That is a boundary and sometimes you have to cut someone some slack when you have to associate with them in a group in order to get things done. They should do the same for you. Sometimes it's important to think of the bigger picture and that is what compromise means to me personally.

If the situation is not worth pursuing and I meet up with a stranger downtown who asks something I don't think is any of their business, I change the subject. If you think that you won't meet that person again, there is no point in arguing about it. No harm done.

Yes I hate confrontations ... love the peace

It is simple really, for me, to keep civility with someone who is being civil. It is harder to hold my tongue when speaking to someone being condescending or blatantly insulting.

IgorFrankenstein is a great example of someone I can disagree with and still have a discussion that remains civil. It is not a common thing on the Internet though, I think.

I can be fiesty .. I am certainly not one to sit quietly where matters of equality , human /animal rights or , justice .are concerned ...Someone once told me .. I have a way with words and I believe that to be true

I’d like to answer this post like @Ciretom but he’s far too clever for me.

I try to be civil, but I do let myself down occasionally.

While we’re on this subject, I’d like to take this opportunity to apologise to anyone I’ve disagreed with in the past, I’m sure you’ve realised by now that I was right in the first place, so no hard feelings.

I really don’t engage in verbal battles. I will not avoid an area of discussion if I know I will disagree with someone either..

If I don’t agree with someone on a subject or issue, I’m not going to argue it with them, but am likely to ask questions to see if I can understand where they’re coming from and why they feel as they do. Likewise, I may state my reasons for my own beliefs, respectfully.

If that doesn’t work, I’ll make a big joke of it and move away from the subject, mumbling, “Some people are so sensitive.”

I try to remeber that people don’t generally have strong feelings without good cause. I may never agree with them, but I will respect most viewpoints enough not to argue.

Sometimes it's better to keep your mouth shut than to stick your foot into it.

Whether or not the person I'm talking with is a friend I keep my mouth shut when I observe tensions building up particularly because I dislike public attention.
However, I've had to give up on different kinds of relationships simply because we didn't understand what it meant to have differences of opinions on issues.
I have also had to make compromises I was never happy about for some friends because I didn't want to lose them and I'm sure some have done same for me but overall it has always been civil.
On a number of occasions where total strangers have tried to discredit my arguments I have learnt to say 'OK' which means 'suit yourself' just to get the person off your back.

I find that I disagree with most of the people I meet.
I try not to disrespect them tho.

If I am in a discussion with someone and I am wrong, I want them to set me straight. I do however, want them to do so with tact and respect.

I am also aware that what is right in my experience may not be right in another's.

As for being compromised, I usually don't fret a subject of discussion unless it really matters to me. I can allow someone else to assert their views even when I know in my views, they are wrong. It really doesn't hurt me.

On the other hand, When my kids were just starting their own families, they would hit me up for "Loans" every month. They never paid them back.
I realized they needed to learn how to balance their budgets. I set a rule that if they still owe me for a "Loan" I will not give them more till its paid back. Then when they got the hang of that, I got hit up for "Loans" for natural living expenses, while they were spending all their money as soon as they got it. Still not budgeting.
When I finally cut them off, I told them how to make their budget work.
For the most part, it was effective. I will still give them money but its because I love them, not because they tel me they need it.

My point is, I was compromised by my love for them at first and it was hurting their ability to be self-sufficient. Call it Tough-Love or parenting, I forced them to change their methods.

Sometimes, when I am in a discussion with someone, I see things in their personality that is hurting them. I will argue my point to try to bring clarity to them. I will try to reword, give personal examples and yes, even become hostile to enlighten them. When I run out of ideas, I tend to drop it. I'm not one to throw insults and slurs, tho.
For the most part, online, nothing really matters to my lifestyle.
I'm good, your disagreement doesn't hurt me.

Several things cause me to WORK at being civil, as well as open to other thoughts, even the ones I disagree with.

Part of it is that I majored in History in college, and my studies taught me, among many other things, that NO ONE has a corner on wisdom or insight. So when a new idea gets presented, I will actually think about it, and decide carefully what parts of it I like, and what I don't, and why, rather than dumping it or adopting it at first sight.

Another big part of it, is that I have always been either in sales, or in service delivery, and that means dealing with all KINDS of customers, with all sorts of opinions and notions. Anyone in my business who insists on being rude to people they disagree with, wont be in business long.

And more than anything else, I became convinced and persuaded a very long time ago now, that name-calling, and prejudice, and jumping to conclusions is ALWAYS self-defeating.

All of that together, makes it very easy for me to be circumspect and careful about both how, and when I express my opinions. It's capped off by my biggest choice, which is that the only loyalty I have, is to what is accurate and what works. Not to "sides" or parties, or religions, or any of the other things that I used to think I was supposed to show blind support for.

hahahahahahahahahaha

IMO the connotation is more of not getting everything you want and your expectations validated or fulfilled.


Depends on the conversation and relationship.
With strangers? Sure, no problem.
Friends where we're having a discussion? No.
Friends where a decision needs to be made? Maybe.
My boss? I'd better, unless it's something that is going to effect work negatively.
Anyone where a decision needs to be made the outcome of which directly affects me in a way I find significant, the consequences being worse than being "civil?" No.

Hey, btw Joe....I a single word answer from the cire... "yes".
I was floored and it was poignant!

Good topic Beachfarmer.

I have never chosen my friendships based on political or religious beliefs, so I can and do hold my tongue quite often. I may state my opinions when appropriate to a conversation, but won't get into heated debates. My friends know this about me and respect it for the most part.

Online, I don't engage at all. I stick to the fluffy stuff. I use social media and forums to unwind and have fun. I enter no room where CAPs are flying.

Fluffy stuff, made me smile that, I’ll borrow those words sometime por favor.

If it is totally beneficial for me to hold my tongue, like, I'm waiting for some kind of payoff or whatever is said to me can be used later in a counter argument or in a court of law, yes, I can be as silent as a tomb.
If I don't see any payoff in holding my tongue then I will let you have it in a lashing you would not soon forget and if I see that displeases you and you start puffing up then all civil manner goes out the window and you better be prepared to throw down.

Hii