I was talking to a friend whose husband is a police officer. He got into a close call situation recently and she was venting to me about the stress and anxiety that comes with being married to a policeman. She feels helpless to protect him, which of course is just how that works. But it’s got to be a horrifying feeling at times.

It got me wondering if anyone out there avoids going out with people who have dangerous jobs because they don’t think they could stomach being the spouse of a policeman, fireman, etc, if the relationship grew into something serious?

Would this be a concern for you guys?

Nope, was a firefighter myself for eleven years, and been a paramedic since 2006. Far more people are killed every year in car accidents, then people employed in the emergency services.

Heaven knows we are all on the line on a city highway. Lol! But there are more citizens involved in those larger number of auto accidents than there are firemen and paramedics per their incidents.

I consider both of your jobs to be high risk. And I thank you for being out there for us, Missy.

My X married me knowing that a beachhead Seabee life expectancy was 3.5 seconds. From my point of view it was a non-issue but from hers, everytime I deployed, she was panicked.
Perhaps she had a need for a threat.
I do know that after I separated from the service, our relationship changed.
Not for worse but I noticed a change in her.
Almost like a general calming.

I think there is a personality type that is attracted to the threat.
Please don't take this as an insult to anyone.
Its the same as people that take life chances like skydiving, roller coasters and other high risk activities.
Only difference is its not them taking the risk, but their loved ones.

It can have serious repercussions if the risk is removed.
With the threat no longer active, they may seek someone else that is in danger.
But, like I said, not everyone is like that.

A perspective I would never have thought about. I’ve only considered if someone could handle it. I guess some types like that actually crave it.

Enlightening aspect Tom. Thanks for weighing in.

If the danger is the type that they can leave at the office, like a fireman, yeah. If the danger is something that could leave lingering enemies or emotional issues, like police or seal or something like that,,,, no.

Another great point! There’s a pretty significant difference I hadn’t considered.

Probably not the job.
"Dangerous jobs" tend to attract certain personality types/traits, and create/exacerbate certain personality types/traits.
Ones that I know I'm not all that attracted to.

The job wouldn't be the issue so much as what their personality would have to be in order to fulfill the job.

Kinda depends on the job too, though.

I mean there's technician in a nuclear plant vs. lion tamer vs. EMT vs. Ultimate Fighter vs. Police vs. Military vs. Crab fisherman vs. oil roughneck.

I dated a woman, once, who worked on a crab boat in Alaska.
Showed up, profile pic was obviously fake, had no teeth, smelled like menthol cigarettes which was weird for someone who put "non smoking" on their profile.

Some jobs are going to chew you up and spit you out.

Might be different if I were 18 again, and dating someone else 18, and their dream for the future was to go into a "dangerous job" vs. someone that's been in a "dangerous job" for 20 years.

That makes me think of something else worthy of notation.

There is a big difference when the person is already in a dangerous job than if they choose a dangerous job after meeting/becoming involved with you.

With one, you enter into the relationship knowing about the risk, It kinda prepares you.
With the other, the risk changes the relationship conditions. The stress might be higher.

When I was younger I wouldn't have minded. But now I would. I've had enough chit in my life as it is, I don't need stress and anxiety yet again.
And I know myself, the way I love someone is deep, and I would be worried.

I do like excitement, having fun, but that is entirely different from having stress and anxiety over my loved one's work. So no, rather not.

Great points. Lion Tamer...haha! It could happen.

Sure. There are bound to be some who would feel like that was not what they signed up for.

I think I’m of like mind for the most part.

I have a dangerous job..it sometimes requires me to go to the grocery store and put my life on the line when I have to get out and drive among all those idiots on the road ..just to get a gallon of milk... ..yall better recognize...just who the heroes really are...it's mom and dad..

I dated a police officer for a while, but he was in the process of retiring when we met. He had many yrs in that field. We weren't right for a marriage Relationship had little in common.

I don't have problem with a spouse being miner, iron worker, truck driver, many occupations can be dangerous jobs.