Community > Dating & Relationships

Topic: In person
Piscesmoon02 Joined Wed 11/02/16 Posts: 56490	Wed 03/14/18 03:12 AM Edited by Piscesmoon02 on Wed 03/14/18 03:14 AM
Me personally, I don't want a woman to chase after me. That takes the fun out of it for me. But at the same time, women can sometimes be too subtle. And sometimes body language just doesn't work. It's not always the guy's fault that he doesn't catch on. You may feel like you are putting it out there plainly. When in reality you may be coming more off as less than lukewarm. In my whole dating life, I've met one woman that knew how to put her interest out there. And she did it in a way that didn't make her look easy or desperate. At the end of our date, she looked me right in the face and told me that she liked being with me and she hoped I would ask her out again. Plain and simple. No eye batting. No flicking her hair or grinning at me. LOL. Just plain, simple and honest. I was 21 then. We were together for 5 years. She turned out to be my first true love. In the end, things didn't work out. Our lives carried us in different directions. But to this day, she is the only one that ever talked to me that way. There were no "subtleties" with her. No hinting. She said what she wanted and how she felt. If I could have my way and be able to change every woman to be that way, I would in a heartbeat. Because for every woman the process of "hinting" to a man is different. As I've gotten older I've learned to pick up on a lot of them. But, I will always remember the one that was willing to put herself out there. One night she held my hand. The next she was holding my heart. By the way, the day we met she followed me around like a little-lost puppy. That night we all wound up down on the lake. She had hung around me all day. Just sharing with me whatever came along that day. That night we all wound up sitting around a campfire talking. It was really innocent. By 3 am we had shared so much of our day together, On my way home I couldn't help but think about her. The next day I called her. And it went from there. Sounds like you don't really want a hint, just for the woman to say it straight out that she's interested. And it sounds like she would have a really difficult time being herself, rather than feeling like she had to measure up to the standards of your first love. Good luck finding that Charles, hope you do and hope you see her for who she is rather than who she's not! Hum? It sounds like you don't quite understand me. That happened many years ago. I know better than to look for that exact thing in someone else.As a matter of fact, I reasonably sure that was a fluke. The great majority of women that I've known are not that way. Plus, I think just about everyone has had their first love. No other will be like that first one for most people. That first love will always hold a spot in my heart. But that doesn't mean that no one else can measure up. And it doesn't mean she can't be herself. I wouldn't want it no other way. But to the subject of hinting. Yes, I'm OK with women who throw me a hint. All I'm trying to say is, many don't know how to be clear. And yes, I know that some men are just dumb when it comes to that. That's part of the point I'm trying to make. A great many men need a clear hint. That's just the way they are. Another reason to be clear, I'm sure there are other men out there that have come across women that (seem) to flirt with them. And when the guy returns it, they get upset. We come across women that will flirt with a man and then shut him down when he returns it. In other words, teasing. And yes, grown women do that. So' if you're not comfortable with just coming out and saying how you feel, at least throw a clear hint. Yes, there are some dumb men out there. And some that you might think are being dumb when they really aren't. You might not have been clear enough. Also, he might have had some women in his life that teased him that way. Which makes him take a step back and not accept the way you are approaching him. All I'm saying, Is just be clear. Holy cow Charles.... I'm thinking you think too much Ever just relax and go with the flow...stop thinking and analyzing so much about "Them"... and just be yourself... or talk about yourself and not "them"? I do know that if I were to approach you and we went out for coffee, I wouldn't stay long if all I heard was how "us women" are or aren't. Sorry if that sounds rude or offensive, that's not my intention. Have a good day Oh... you still haven't answered my question. What kind of hints are you looking for?

Charles1962150 Joined Tue 03/13/12 Posts: 3403	Wed 03/14/18 06:30 PM Edited by Charles1962150 on Wed 03/14/18 06:43 PM
Me personally, I don't want a woman to chase after me. That takes the fun out of it for me. But at the same time, women can sometimes be too subtle. And sometimes body language just doesn't work. It's not always the guy's fault that he doesn't catch on. You may feel like you are putting it out there plainly. When in reality you may be coming more off as less than lukewarm. In my whole dating life, I've met one woman that knew how to put her interest out there. And she did it in a way that didn't make her look easy or desperate. At the end of our date, she looked me right in the face and told me that she liked being with me and she hoped I would ask her out again. Plain and simple. No eye batting. No flicking her hair or grinning at me. LOL. Just plain, simple and honest. I was 21 then. We were together for 5 years. She turned out to be my first true love. In the end, things didn't work out. Our lives carried us in different directions. But to this day, she is the only one that ever talked to me that way. There were no "subtleties" with her. No hinting. She said what she wanted and how she felt. If I could have my way and be able to change every woman to be that way, I would in a heartbeat. Because for every woman the process of "hinting" to a man is different. As I've gotten older I've learned to pick up on a lot of them. But, I will always remember the one that was willing to put herself out there. One night she held my hand. The next she was holding my heart. By the way, the day we met she followed me around like a little-lost puppy. That night we all wound up down on the lake. She had hung around me all day. Just sharing with me whatever came along that day. That night we all wound up sitting around a campfire talking. It was really innocent. By 3 am we had shared so much of our day together, On my way home I couldn't help but think about her. The next day I called her. And it went from there. Sounds like you don't really want a hint, just for the woman to say it straight out that she's interested. And it sounds like she would have a really difficult time being herself, rather than feeling like she had to measure up to the standards of your first love. Good luck finding that Charles, hope you do and hope you see her for who she is rather than who she's not! Hum? It sounds like you don't quite understand me. That happened many years ago. I know better than to look for that exact thing in someone else.As a matter of fact, I reasonably sure that was a fluke. The great majority of women that I've known are not that way. Plus, I think just about everyone has had their first love. No other will be like that first one for most people. That first love will always hold a spot in my heart. But that doesn't mean that no one else can measure up. And it doesn't mean she can't be herself. I wouldn't want it no other way. But to the subject of hinting. Yes, I'm OK with women who throw me a hint. All I'm trying to say is, many don't know how to be clear. And yes, I know that some men are just dumb when it comes to that. That's part of the point I'm trying to make. A great many men need a clear hint. That's just the way they are. Another reason to be clear, I'm sure there are other men out there that have come across women that (seem) to flirt with them. And when the guy returns it, they get upset. We come across women that will flirt with a man and then shut him down when he returns it. In other words, teasing. And yes, grown women do that. So' if you're not comfortable with just coming out and saying how you feel, at least throw a clear hint. Yes, there are some dumb men out there. And some that you might think are being dumb when they really aren't. You might not have been clear enough. Also, he might have had some women in his life that teased him that way. Which makes him take a step back and not accept the way you are approaching him. All I'm saying, Is just be clear. Holy cow Charles.... I'm thinking you think too much Ever just relax and go with the flow...stop thinking and analyzing so much about "Them"... and just be yourself... or talk about yourself and not "them"? I do know that if I were to approach you and we went out for coffee, I wouldn't stay long if all I heard was how "us women" are or aren't. Sorry if that sounds rude or offensive, that's not my intention. Have a good day Oh... you still haven't answered my question. What kind of hints are you looking for? Well, This is a discussion on an open forum. Which does in most cases require some thought. Unlike some, I've seen on forums that just open mouth and speak without it. What I'm talking about here I do not take with me on a date for one millisecond. It's a forum thing. And that's where it's left. I'm always "Eddie". I don't know how to be anyone but Eddie. I'm always relaxed on a date. If I relaxed anymore, I would slide out of my seat into a pile (of Eddie) on the floor. I know what I know. I've seen what I've seen. And I leave it at that. Besides, most men know to not try to talk straight to a woman about the things he has seen out women over his life. Most of them can't take it. A lot of them see it as being insulting to women. When it's just the truth of what he/I've have seen. Just because that's what I've seen, doesn't mean that's what I look for in every woman I go with. Even though experience has taught me not to bury my head in the sand. Be watchful. Hope for the best. But expect the worst. Because I've had so much of the worst, I still hope for the best. And if I ever happen to come across the best, then I will feel blessed. It takes having the bad to be able to know when you have the good. As far as answering your question. I think I've done that. At least twice. It sounds like you want me to name specific things. I can't. All I can say is pretty much what I've already said. Don't be murky, Be clear. Have a good day She said what she wanted and how she felt. If I could have my way and be able to change every woman to be that way, I would in a heartbeat. This is a truth. Many women don't know how to be clear about what they want or how they feel. Many expect a man to just know.

Piscesmoon02 Joined Wed 11/02/16 Posts: 56490	Wed 03/14/18 07:59 PM
She said what she wanted and how she felt. If I could have my way and be able to change every woman to be that way, I would in a heartbeat. This is a truth. Many women don't know how to be clear about what they want or how they feel. Many expect a man to just know. I would love to carry on this discussion with you Charles, I feel though that it's starting to get off topic of Toody's thread. So out of respect for her, I'm going to stop discussing this with you here in this thread. I do believe if we met in person, I would have no problem telling you exactly how I feel and what I want. You seem to strike a nerve in me... not sure if that's good or bad, would be interesting to find out though. And mostly likely, speaking face to face would go a little smoother. Cheers!

Charles1962150 Joined Tue 03/13/12 Posts: 3403	Fri 03/16/18 01:18 AM Edited by Charles1962150 on Fri 03/16/18 01:19 AM
She said what she wanted and how she felt. If I could have my way and be able to change every woman to be that way, I would in a heartbeat. This is a truth. Many women don't know how to be clear about what they want or how they feel. Many expect a man to just know. I would love to carry on this discussion with you Charles, I feel though that it's starting to get off topic of Toody's thread. So out of respect for her, I'm going to stop discussing this with you here in this thread. I do believe if we met in person, I would have no problem telling you exactly how I feel and what I want. You seem to strike a nerve in me... not sure if that's good or bad, would be interesting to find out though. And mostly likely, speaking face to face would go a little smoother. Cheers! OK. I'm sorry if I strike a nerve. I never meant to.

Piscesmoon02 Joined Wed 11/02/16 Posts: 56490	Fri 03/16/18 03:50 AM
I would love to carry on this discussion with you Charles, I feel though that it's starting to get off topic of Toody's thread. So out of respect for her, I'm going to stop discussing this with you here in this thread. I do believe if we met in person, I would have no problem telling you exactly how I feel and what I want. You seem to strike a nerve in me... not sure if that's good or bad, would be interesting to find out though. And mostly likely, speaking face to face would go a little smoother. Cheers! OK. I'm sorry if I strike a nerve. I never meant to. No worries, it's not necessarily a bad thing, and I could be misinterpreting your words... easy to do online or when texting. You're right though, subtleties don't work. I mentioned I was stopping this discussion "here in this thread", which suggests I would discuss it more through messaging. So if I changed it to... "I'd be willing to discuss this more with you outside this thread, but can't contact you due to your restrictions"... would that be more clear?

Toodygirl5 Joined Fri 10/26/12 Posts: 14969	Thu 03/22/18 08:43 PM Edited by Toodygirl5 on Thu 03/22/18 08:45 PM
I would love to carry on this discussion with you Charles, I feel though that it's starting to get off topic of Toody's thread. So out of respect for her, I'm going to stop discussing this with you here in this thread. I do believe if we met in person, I would have no problem telling you exactly how I feel and what I want. You seem to strike a nerve in me... not sure if that's good or bad, would be interesting to find out though. And mostly likely, speaking face to face would go a little smoother. Cheers! OK. I'm sorry if I strike a nerve. I never meant to. No worries, it's not necessarily a bad thing, and I could be misinterpreting your words... easy to do online or when texting. You're right though, subtleties don't work. I mentioned I was stopping this discussion "here in this thread", which suggests I would discuss it more through messaging. So if I changed it to... "I'd be willing to discuss this more with you outside this thread, but can't contact you due to your restrictions"... would that be more clear? I get misundestood a lot when talking online to men I come in contact with. They message me! Often times they call then we don't get along either! Must be them.

8088djh Joined Thu 03/22/18 Posts: 1	Thu 03/22/18 10:05 PM
Hey there, Im from Bangor Maine and can't decide if I want to use site or not because I didn't see any beautiful ladies.

scepticalsoulmate Joined Wed 08/24/16 Posts: 9737	Thu 03/22/18 10:44 PM
Maybe your standards are way too high? Good luck

Piscesmoon02 Joined Wed 11/02/16 Posts: 56490	Fri 03/23/18 02:46 AM
I get misundestood a lot when talking online to men I come in contact with. They message me! Often times they call then we don't get along either! Must be them. Does it have to be one or the other? Maybe it was simply that there really wasn't a connection there... meaning perhaps it was the both of you. As far as understanding someone online, I think that takes time. It's easy for anyone to misconstrue written words. Same thing can happen reading a book, or poetry, or a letter. We might think we know what the other is saying but they could be saying something totally different. Speaking directly with the one who wrote the words is really the only way to know and clear up any misunderstandings or assumptions.

Toodygirl5 Joined Fri 10/26/12 Posts: 14969	Fri 03/23/18 02:50 PM
So true Pisces!

Piscesmoon02 Joined Wed 11/02/16 Posts: 56490	Fri 03/23/18 02:58 PM
So true Pisces!

joethebricky Joined Sat 08/04/12 Posts: 12740	Fri 03/23/18 03:06 PM
Hey there, Im from Bangor Maine and can't decide if I want to use site or not because I didn't see any beautiful ladies. Very romantic first post mate, you’ll go far.