Topic: "walks into a bar..." ONLY | |
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MAN Walks into a bar... ouch
a sandwedge walks into a bar. orders a drink. bartender says "sorry i don't serve food" a mushroom walk into a vegetable bar, orders a drink. the bar tender saus" hey i don't think your supposed to be here" mushroom say's, " Hey man!.. i'm a fun-guy(fungi) |
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That's some funny chit right there.
Reminds me of Emo Phillips. I'm trying to get my dog to stop drinking out of the toilet. It tickles. |
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nice. i guy walks into a bar, sits down, and gets a drink. As he's drinking it, he notices some music. He askes the bartender " wher's the music from?". without a pause the bartender sighs and pulls out a tray with a mini piano and player. "wow, where did you find him?". Bartender replay's"well theirs a jinni in the back room. you get one wish and one wish only. just a warning.". he's pointed to the back.
so he does into the back and a jinni is there. Jinni "you get one wish and one wish only!!!!! WHAT IS IT?". "I'd like a million bucks" One million ducks apear. the guy storms out and says to the bartender "hey! i just asked for a million bucks and got a million ducks! What the hell!". the bar tender smirks "what, you think i wanted a 12 inch pianist?" |
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good ones
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Guy walks into a bar with two beautiful blonds, pulls a hundred dollar bill out of his pocket and orders drinks for the house.
Bartender sets up the drinks and all of a sudden a little one foot tall guys appears, runs down the bar and knocks everybodys' drink over. Guy pulls out another hundred dollar bill and orders drinks for the house. Bartender sets them up, and the little guy appears and knocks everyones drinks over again. Bartender says, "dude! WTF???" Guy says, "well I was out hunting and I meet this genie. Genie said I could have three wishes. So I wished that everywhere I went two beautiful blonds would go with me. Then I wished that every time I reached into my pocket I'd pull out a hundred dollar bill. Then I wished for a 12 inch pr***." |
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A guy walks into a bar with a machine gun and shouts, whoever’s been sleeping with my wife is getting shot.
The barman looks across and says, there ain’t enough bullets in that thing. |
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A bear walks into a bar, sits down on a stool, pulls a hundred dollar bill out of his fur and orders a beer.
Bartender pours him a beer, picks up the hundred, and figuring "what the heck does a bear know?", puts the hundred in the till. Bear drinks his beer, pulls another hundred out of his fur and orders another beer. Bartender pours him a beer, grabs the hundred and puts it the till. Figuring he's got a good thing going, the bartender tries to engage the bear in some friendly conversation. "Say" he says, "We don't get many bears in here". The bear looks up from his beer at the bartender and says, "At a hundred dollars a beer, I spose focking not!". |
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Edited by
a_beautiful_heart
on
Fri 03/30/18 03:08 AM
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trying so hard not to report this joke, haha, its so bad it's funny! hahaha
"MAN Walks into a bar... ouch a sandwedge walks into a bar. orders a drink. bartender says "sorry i don't serve food" a mushroom walk into a vegetable bar, orders a drink. the bar tender saus" hey i don't think your supposed to be here" mushroom say's, " Hey man!.. i'm a fun-guy(fungi) " |
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