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| Topic: Does true love and financial support combine or foolishness | |
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Charles your posts are depressing me, I'm starting to feel I'm doomed to singlehood just because I'm an American woman! 
Not all American woman are as you describe. And not all are bad for being how you described. You seem to generalize a lot based on your personal experiences and imo that's not really fair. I would love to make my relationship, when I have one, my priority. To only work part time and be a full time wife. Maybe some day I will find a man who is okay with that and doesn't think because he is the main provider that it's okay to hit me! I'm sure not all men are like that, just as not all women are how you describe. You are partly correct. I am only talking about my personal experiences of about the past 38 years. I can't speak for the whole world. Neither am I trying to. All I'm speaking of is what I have seen in my tiny corner of the world. It has been my reality. And I know that my reality is not everybody else's. I'm sorry if what I say on this subject sounds depressing to you. Not once did I say that "all" American women are this way. I said, "Many". So, don't let it be depressing to you. It just is what it is from my part of the world. You said" Maybe someday I will find a man who is okay with that and doesn't think because he is the main provider that it's okay to hit me!
This sounds like it's been your reality? Not every man is a hitter. I've never hit a woman in my life. And I know many men who never have either. But, in your corner of the world, this is what you've seen. That sounds depressing to me. But, it doesn't make it any less the truth for you. |
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Charles your posts are depressing me, I'm starting to feel I'm doomed to singlehood just because I'm an American woman!
Not all American woman are as you describe. And not all are bad for being how you described. You seem to generalize a lot based on your personal experiences and imo that's not really fair. I would love to make my relationship, when I have one, my priority. To only work part time and be a full time wife. Maybe some day I will find a man who is okay with that and doesn't think because he is the main provider that it's okay to hit me! I'm sure not all men are like that, just as not all women are how you describe. You are partly correct. I am only talking about my personal experiences of about the past 38 years. I can't speak for the whole world. Neither am I trying to. All I'm speaking of is what I have seen in my tiny corner of the world. It has been my reality. And I know that my reality is not everybody else's. I'm sorry if what I say on this subject sounds depressing to you. Not once did I say that "all" American women are this way. I said, "Many". So, don't let it be depressing to you. It just is what it is from my part of the world. You said" Maybe someday I will find a man who is okay with that and doesn't think because he is the main provider that it's okay to hit me!
This sounds like it's been your reality? Not every man is a hitter. I've never hit a woman in my life. And I know many men who never have either. But, in your corner of the world, this is what you've seen. That sounds depressing to me. But, it doesn't make it any less the truth for you. Thanks Charles for explaining and for your honesty. I do understand how difficult it can be to not let our past experiences effect getting close or trusting others. Especially if the same kind of thing happened over and over again. I guess my point was that it's not fair to judge those you don't know based on those you used to know. Yes, I've been hurt very badly, inhumanely, but I know in my heart and in my mind that not all men are like that or women for that matter. For some reason or another I happened to be born into it. I'm pretty sure there's a higher purpose for it, and I'm very sure it wasn't so I would close myself off to the world and never trust love again. I hope in your part of the world you find the kind of woman you deserve and that you both love and respect each other. Cheers! |
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Can a girl expect to fall in love with a man (ps: not below 36) who will support her emotionally as well as financially and let her pursue her dreams.... or is it pure foolishness to expect something like this ? With the way the great majority of women are now, Why would a man want to take care of a woman? Especially financially? Many are doing it by themselves. You can too. In other words, Go get a job and then pursue your dreams. When you have finished whatever it is you wish to pursue, then start looking for a man. And when you start looking for one, look for one for the right reasons. Look for one that you can love, that loves you, unconditionally. Never go at it with the idea of, "I love you "if" you take care of me. Or "if" anything. You both should be, "I love you, PERIOD. Because shyt is gonna happen. That's just life. If the real love isn't there, you will never make it. So, forget about all that other stuff. Take care of yourself. Learn to support "you". And always remember, Never ask another to give you something that you can't give back. Or give yourself. In other words, Many women now will ask a man to support her in all kinds of ways. But many are not willing to give that same support back to him. I really feel sympathy for you that you haven't crossed paths with a woman who would have made you feel protective and possessive towards her. And all the more because of the lack of reciprocation. I don't know everything. But, since you come from a different part of the world, well, things are just different. Women where you are, are more like the way women used to be here. As far as the "protective" and "possessive" part of your statement goes, Every woman that I've ever been romantically linked with I felt protective of. I think that's just born in a man to be that way. But many women here in this part of the world, they no longer appreciate that. They can do it for themselves. So, since so many want to assert their independence to such an extreme, Well, many men just don't see the point anymore. The "possessive" part of your statement. I've never wanted to possess a woman. They are not a possession. I do understand what you mean, though. At least I think I do. I think you mean more like, "belonging". That's the way it once was here. If you said you belonged to a man, it meant that was where your heart was. Your heart is with him. And even with that, you're still not a possession. That lack of reciprocation you spoke of, that's one of the reasons why so many American men every year go to other countries seeking wives. Mostly certain Asian countries. Another small bit of information. Some men will bring a woman back with him to the USA. Many will not. They go where ever she is. Let's say the Philippines. They will go there and live with her because they don't want to bring her here where she might see how many American women are. They don't want to run the risk of her getting around American women that might change her from the way she is. And yes, many will argue that they can show her how to not be a slave to a man. It's not about being a slave to some man. It's about being a wife.Showing a man that you love him, respect him and you need him in your life. And many here don't know how to do that anymore. What many American women will show you, is how to wind up alone. Like many of them are. I'm not saying that "all" are this way. But too many are. It's sad really.  I get what you are trying to assert. And no I did not want to use the term belonging. I very specifically used possessive . Being a possession and feeling possessive towards somebody is something really different. But then again it may be how you perceive environments. Well about the American men seeking wives from other part of the world as informative thank you for that piece of information.
But how I try to look at it is that if you belong to someone it's not slavery woman belonging to a man . I am unable to understand how did the word slavery even entered this conversation. But if a woman belongs to a man the man too has to belong to that woman. Unfortunately however such phenomenon are a rarity. Thanks for putting forth your views though ☺ |
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Can a girl expect to fall in love with a man (ps: not below 36) who will support her emotionally as well as financially and let her pursue her dreams.... or is it pure foolishness to expect something like this ? With the way the great majority of women are now, Why would a man want to take care of a woman? Especially financially? Many are doing it by themselves. You can too. In other words, Go get a job and then pursue your dreams. When you have finished whatever it is you wish to pursue, then start looking for a man. And when you start looking for one, look for one for the right reasons. Look for one that you can love, that loves you, unconditionally. Never go at it with the idea of, "I love you "if" you take care of me. Or "if" anything. You both should be, "I love you, PERIOD. Because shyt is gonna happen. That's just life. If the real love isn't there, you will never make it. So, forget about all that other stuff. Take care of yourself. Learn to support "you". And always remember, Never ask another to give you something that you can't give back. Or give yourself. In other words, Many women now will ask a man to support her in all kinds of ways. But many are not willing to give that same support back to him. I really feel sympathy for you that you haven't crossed paths with a woman who would have made you feel protective and possessive towards her. And all the more because of the lack of reciprocation. I don't know everything. But, since you come from a different part of the world, well, things are just different. Women where you are, are more like the way women used to be here. As far as the "protective" and "possessive" part of your statement goes, Every woman that I've ever been romantically linked with I felt protective of. I think that's just born in a man to be that way. But many women here in this part of the world, they no longer appreciate that. They can do it for themselves. So, since so many want to assert their independence to such an extreme, Well, many men just don't see the point anymore. The "possessive" part of your statement. I've never wanted to possess a woman. They are not a possession. I do understand what you mean, though. At least I think I do. I think you mean more like, "belonging". That's the way it once was here. If you said you belonged to a man, it meant that was where your heart was. Your heart is with him. And even with that, you're still not a possession. That lack of reciprocation you spoke of, that's one of the reasons why so many American men every year go to other countries seeking wives. Mostly certain Asian countries. Another small bit of information. Some men will bring a woman back with him to the USA. Many will not. They go where ever she is. Let's say the Philippines. They will go there and live with her because they don't want to bring her here where she might see how many American women are. They don't want to run the risk of her getting around American women that might change her from the way she is. And yes, many will argue that they can show her how to not be a slave to a man. It's not about being a slave to some man. It's about being a wife.Showing a man that you love him, respect him and you need him in your life. And many here don't know how to do that anymore. What many American women will show you, is how to wind up alone. Like many of them are. I'm not saying that "all" are this way. But too many are. It's sad really. I just saw Philippines and I do feel Charles gave us a compliment. So in behalf of the Filipino women here. I want to say thank you  there are really cultural differences which can shape our character and if imbedded really deep there’s really no need to worry. IMHO 
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Can a girl expect to fall in love with a man (ps: not below 36) who will support her emotionally as well as financially and let her pursue her dreams.... or is it pure foolishness to expect something like this ? With the way the great majority of women are now, Why would a man want to take care of a woman? Especially financially? Many are doing it by themselves. You can too. In other words, Go get a job and then pursue your dreams. When you have finished whatever it is you wish to pursue, then start looking for a man. And when you start looking for one, look for one for the right reasons. Look for one that you can love, that loves you, unconditionally. Never go at it with the idea of, "I love you "if" you take care of me. Or "if" anything. You both should be, "I love you, PERIOD. Because shyt is gonna happen. That's just life. If the real love isn't there, you will never make it. So, forget about all that other stuff. Take care of yourself. Learn to support "you". And always remember, Never ask another to give you something that you can't give back. Or give yourself. In other words, Many women now will ask a man to support her in all kinds of ways. But many are not willing to give that same support back to him. I really feel sympathy for you that you haven't crossed paths with a woman who would have made you feel protective and possessive towards her. And all the more because of the lack of reciprocation. I don't know everything. But, since you come from a different part of the world, well, things are just different. Women where you are, are more like the way women used to be here. As far as the "protective" and "possessive" part of your statement goes, Every woman that I've ever been romantically linked with I felt protective of. I think that's just born in a man to be that way. But many women here in this part of the world, they no longer appreciate that. They can do it for themselves. So, since so many want to assert their independence to such an extreme, Well, many men just don't see the point anymore. The "possessive" part of your statement. I've never wanted to possess a woman. They are not a possession. I do understand what you mean, though. At least I think I do. I think you mean more like, "belonging". That's the way it once was here. If you said you belonged to a man, it meant that was where your heart was. Your heart is with him. And even with that, you're still not a possession. That lack of reciprocation you spoke of, that's one of the reasons why so many American men every year go to other countries seeking wives. Mostly certain Asian countries. Another small bit of information. Some men will bring a woman back with him to the USA. Many will not. They go where ever she is. Let's say the Philippines. They will go there and live with her because they don't want to bring her here where she might see how many American women are. They don't want to run the risk of her getting around American women that might change her from the way she is. And yes, many will argue that they can show her how to not be a slave to a man. It's not about being a slave to some man. It's about being a wife.Showing a man that you love him, respect him and you need him in your life. And many here don't know how to do that anymore. What many American women will show you, is how to wind up alone. Like many of them are. I'm not saying that "all" are this way. But too many are. It's sad really. I just saw Philippines and I do feel Charles gave us a compliment. So in behalf of the Filipino women here. I want to say thank you there are really cultural differences which can shape our character and if imbedded really deep there’s really no need to worry. IMHO
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No it’s not as far as there is an understanding between both of you it’s perfect unless you consider age to be factor
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