may be

What I'm about to say here some may not like. But it's the truth as I know it. The main thing over the years that have run me off from many women are the kids themselves. Most were little azz-holes that have been petted to death and not taught basic manners.

They had no dad around for various reasons. And since the mother didn't have what it took to raise a child to respect its elders, I get turned off really quick. Let's say I met a woman and fell in love with her. She had a small child and her husband had passed away.

That's different. I would raise the child like it was mine. But when you come into a relationship where the kid(s) are already 8, 9, 10 or older and they are little a-holes that mom petted to death and let them get by with too much, Been there and done it. I learned the hard way to stay out of it.

Several years ago I was dating this woman who had this little terror of a son she was raising. He ran up to me one day and kicked me in the shin. The mother laughed about it and said, "It's OK. He's only expressing himself". The next day, while I wasn't looking, the little a-hole slipped up on me and did it again.


That time hurt worse than the time before. I snatched him up, downed his pants and blistered his little backside. The mother came running up, picked him up and started petting him saying the same thing she did before, "He's only expressing himself".


I looked her straight in the face and said, SO DID I!!

The next day I didn't hear from her. I was OK with that.

finding love after two kids has not been an easy one

IMNSHO, the women are as much to blame

hi
i have a daughter too,
need support and sharing here
btw, i;m from indonesia

no definitely not in my experience

I'm a single dad that lives away from home I have two daughter that live with me and and my mother(she's my nanny) but I have the hardest time keeping a relationship after they meet my girls is there anything I cam do to prevent the next her from leaving

I don't believe it should be. If he is a good man, and you are a good woman, both with good intentions, Kids shouldn't matter. If it does, no the one for you sweetheart.☺

I am 26 so I dont really have the experience but I have had a few dates with women who had children. The young children are fine and are actually pretty cute. But the problem are the ones who are not taught proper manners. For me children are no problem as long as they have been brought up right. I would love to meet a girl over here and wouldnt care about her havin kids as long as we love each other and her kids know how to respect cuz then i can show them love as well and they would be able to accept me.

Plus, over here many of the people are simply fakes who ask to go to some other website. i am tired of reporting them. I just hope i can find someone real here who would be interested in talking and then we can go from there.

I have dated women with children and I will say it has made it difficult to plan dates. But for the most part I myself will skip most women with little ones.

yes not the reason and the good question for answer is make me be your partner heheheh

I got a divorce after 11 miserable years but my girls were 1 and 3. I taught them manners, there was no technology so they used their imaginations to make card table caves, played cowboys and indians, had tea parties with their bears. I worked full time and they spent my work hours with my parents on a farm. They fed the chickens, helped fold laundry, read stories, all good things. It never entered my mind to find a husband. I am SERIOUS about that. i enjoyed 99% of the time with my girls, and that other 1% of crying or sickness was soon forgotten. When they started to college, i met a 28 year old man and I was 46. We enjoyed the same things and got married quite soon. We traveled, started our own business, bought land to go of the grid (which eventually had to give up on that) and My girls were so busy with classes and their own boyfriends, they were happy for me. After being married 23 years, he began drinking and it got so bad, he threatened to kill me. Never laid a hand on me because I called 911 and ran. I'll never find a man so matched with me again, but I am at long last ready to try. Yes, on the outside I am old, but I will always be 46 inside.
That means I can be serious and get things done, but also be wacky and spontaneous and have fun.
Don't deny your kids all your attention and love just because you think a man/partner/husband would make things better. It's possible things could be worse. Please be PATIENT.

wow have a nice day everyone . well said.. if a man trully loves you i think your past is not important the important things is your future.. having a kids i think its not an hindrance if two individual people share thier love...

im new in this site and i learn some ideas... but in my own opinion kids is not a reason if two people found a real love i guess because no matter if thiers a kove between us everythings well be fine...

it seema since my wife and i seperated that it is indeed harder now than ever to date and find someone while raising a 10 year old who will always get more attention because he's my son. its been years and years, actually almost 2 decades since i dated and its just damn near pointless to try now and at the same time I dont want to be alone. I dont know about you ladies and gents but I do not remember dating being this much of a pain lol.

I agree, they are going thru something = Poor Parenting.

To me the kids are not an issue, they're kids.
If the parent I want to date is incapable or unwilling to raise their own kids with good parenting I'm not interested.

If she raises her kids with good parenting skill and the kids are not a problem I am looking for her to focus on the task at hand.

If her kids invade the dates and meets, I'm not interested.
This doesn't mean they actually physically invade the date.

What it means is when I am out with her and trying to build a relationship, have intimate (personal) conversation and she is constantly being interrupted (sidetracked) with phone calls concerning her kids, it puts a damper on the date's purpose.

I'm not talking about wellness checks done between conversation subjects, I'm talking about pestering calls during the date and her constantly worrying about her kids (clingy) instead of concentrating on the two of us.

The date is not a long duration thing (a few hours?), she isn't going to be gone for an extended period of time. If her focus is on her kids instead of us it signifies a lack of parenting skills because she doesn't trust the sitter (or her kids).

I have no problem meeting or interacting with a woman's kids, once we have a relationship started between her and I.

I raised my family married but when we had "date nite" or "adult day" we left the kids with a babysitter we vetted and trust.
I usually gave the babysitter an expected return time give or take a couple hours (depending on what we were doing and where).
Our babysitter didn't call us every hour, we told them to call if we are not home at the expected time, but that was more for their benefit than the kids.
When they would call we would ask about the kids, of course.
Our 'dates' were time for us to be together and my marriage did last for 25 years (well past my youngest turning 18).

If we are dating, its meant to be our time for us.
So if you push your kids in front of you, it interrupts the process needed to establish a meaningful relationship.
If your dates are experiencing this before they meet you and you do it, you won't get dates like you should.

Yes, you love your kids (I hope).
Yes, you want your date to love your kids too (I think).
Problem is, the kids are inserted at the wrong time or forced.
When I was dating I would tell my date I have 4 grown children and 13 grandchildren "when she asks".
I love them all but that is not the focus of the date.
I slowly introduce my date to my kids and grandkids.

My advice, pull the kids of the profile and out of the date.
Truthfully answer the bottom questions.
Only bring up the kids when your date asks or slowly introduce them into the relationship being built.
You profile is about you.
Get to the meeting phase and go from there.

I do note that the OP has no interests listed. It would help to tell 4 to 10 things you like to do so that men looking at you could see if you fit into their lifestyle. The profile needs some work. Good luck

my kid is a half life I found... however it's better if love comes....