There are several cliches which sound very progressive and reasonable on the surface, but I wonder whether the context of their use can actually cause them to be harmful and unreasonable

for example, 'it could have been worse'

is probably true about 99.9 percent of the time, but how significant is it?
as a coping mechanism, I believe it helps as a way to avoid allowing ourselves to be all consumed/obsessed with whatever thing has happened to us and to help us not lose track of the blessings

however, as an avoidance technique, I think people often use the philosophy to avoid dealing with something altogether, which may be harmful and unreasonable

For example, If I sprain my leg, it could have been worse, I could have broken it, or got an infection and lost it, so Im not gonna let it ruin my life or bring me down, HOWEVER, I am also not going to just ignore it or 'let it go' because it still needs to be dealt with whether 'it could have been worse' or not

the same thing is true for other cliches like 'thats in the past'... technically everything but the moment we are in is 'in the past' and the past hopefully sets examples and teaches lessons by which we can compare and contrast the present


and another one I heard recently is 'its only a problem if you make it a problem"

well, technically, we can walk around with our head in the sand as if everything is ideal and perfect, because I agree that perception is reality

and I agree there is no problem so big that communication and planning cannot address, and no problem that should overtake our lives

BUT, there are things that need to be addressed, whether we wish to see them as 'problems' or not in order for life to not become stagnant or for it to ever get 'better' in any sense


so, do you use these phrases as coping mechanisms or avoidance techniques?

I find that selfish people utilize wise sayings of any kind, to promote more of their own selfishness, and people who have a greater appreciation for the value of the rest of the world, tend to use the same sayings more positively.

No, I may occasionally but I doubt it very much as I seriously dislike such statements.
I think it's total BS to say "Oh well, it's in the past, let bygones be bygones." That sort of thing.
It may be true, but often things that happened in the past block, hurt or affect us in the "now" in some form or other.
I do believe that focusing on things other than the problem can help, but not always. I haven't figured out the line between 'sticking your head in the sand' and 'if you don't give it energy it will go away'.

I do know you can (re)-activate things by giving them attention, but on the other hand side... if it does get reactivated, was it ever really gone and dealt with? I don't think it was ever in the past if you still have a knee-jerk reaction to it, not even if the event itself was 20 yrs ago.

Similar thing with the 'it's only a problem if you make it a problem."
Yes, a positive approach always helps, but whether one is able to do that or not depends on the problem, context, the person's past and so on.

Dunno, just that I dislike such statements. They tend to disempower you and I don't like anything that is disempowering. For simple reasons that disempowering yourself/someone else in itself is a problem and not healthy.

I do think saying this stuff could depend on the person's character and also gender: the right hemisphere is more sensitive to negative feelings/words and so on than the left hemisphere.
I think therefore it possibly is easier for men to let bygones be bygones. Also because of their ability to compartmentalize.

I try my best not to brood about things.
I actively live in the present.

I don't really congratulate myself for my good decisions nor do I beat myself up over my mistakes. I used to. When I thought it was important.

I see life differently than most people. Life is merely the act of being alive. There is no standard, anything goes, anything can happen, anytime...

When someone uses a cliche around me, I just chalk it up to how they talk. If they are trying to insult me, it usually doesn't affect me because most insults are unfounded. The ones that ring true garner my consideration but I don't really get emotional over words anymore. Words are just words. My reputation has no value to me because I am no longer trying to impress anyone.

I think one of the reasons people throw these sayings around is because they don't know how to express themselves. Their emotions are usually a rollercoaster of extremes that they can't properly control.

Both? And for many other things as well?
Phrases, cliches, sayings, are multipurpose shortcut tools useful for different situations and contexts, easily loaded with emotional and relationship content.

Might as well ask a 1990's california surfer if they use "dude" as a question, statement, or judgment.

Some short ones:

S h i t happens.
It's as simple as that.
It's god's will.
The devil made me do it.
I was away that day.
It's not my department.
I was having a bad day.

And plenty more out there.

I'm gonna stay the he'll out of this one, but I'll leave ya with this quote.

Any fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius - and a lot of courage - to move in the opposite direction.

We can not predict our future, so it is how we react to what happens to us that makes all the difference, for our own contentment.


Clinches could be harmful, I tend to be truthful and that sometimes causes problems.

If I avoid something long enough, it's all good then...

I use sayings, but not for avoidance or coping.

I choose my battles then deal with them promptly. I suppose “don’t put off tomorrow what you could do today”, fits me.

When it comes to little issues, they might get an “it is what it is”, or a “don’t sweat the small stuff”.

I don't sugar coat anything..to heck with that if something comes along and pisses me off because it didn't work out..dang for sure I'm not gonna say well it coulda been worse..I'm probably gonna be pissed and handle it by bytchin and throwin'chit..yep...

i really dont have a phrase or technique..per se

usually i just unsubscribe from the political thread for a while

I have learned to recognize when I've begun trying to reason with a brick wall and just walk away myself....

Aside from a FEW specific circumstances you control your own environment.
The ability to just "Walk Away" from untenable situations is much easier than you might think.
Its a simple matter of priority.
Just let go of the pride that makes you have to win, have the last word or be acknowledged.

Here's your Kittens