I do not understand this ... It has never happened to me ...
but in other relationships and marriages ...I have heard women say ...
even in a long marriage or relationship and
having children with them ... and they end with ...


I have never loved you ...



How could they have never loved them ...
what the bleep is that ...


anyone have any guises why ...

People can rationalize and manipulate themselves into feeling something, and/or believing in something, and/or believing that they're feeling something without actually feeling it.

People can confuse one emotion/feeling for another, or rationalize one emotion/feeling to mean another.

People change. Their knowledge changes. Their ideas, values, morals, beliefs change. Usually subtly and over time so people don't really notice it.

They may have come to a realization that what they thought was love, isn't.

They may have come to change their idea of what love "is," compared it to what they have now or in the past, and convince themselves they never "really" loved someone, based on their current ideas of what it "should be."

They may have loved them in the past, come to want to be someone else, so are now telling themselves what they used to feel wasn't love, possibly as a means of justifying ending a relationship.

They may just be angry and saying that because they wish to really hurt the person they are saying it to. Maybe lashing out, giving in to anger, helps motivate them to change and exhibit strength, whereas their behavior giving in to love doesn't allow effective, meaningful, or significant change and causes vulnerability that won't help them.

Maybe on some level they feel saying that is what the other person needs to hear in order to elicit a response with the desired communication. i.e. attack them, break them down, so they act vulnerable, thereby communicate love. Or if loving behavior isn't getting the desired loving response, angry behavior my engender a loving response.

Those would be my "guises."

Hi mystical, my thoughts on this are that there can be many reasons someone marries, sometimes it's not for love.

I imagine after having children together and spending so much time with each other, it would be difficult to not have feelings of love. To me it doesn't seem possible, but to others it may be possible.

Some marry due to pressure from the family, like in cases of unplanned pregnancy due to premarital sex. They spend years resenting their decision and never really put their heart into it.

Some cultures practice arranged marriages, so they're may never have been chemistry between them.

Others may just marry for the wrong reasons, thinking it will bring them happiness, very unfair and sad to all involved.

And some get married too quickly, mistaking lust for love. They keep trying to recapture those initial feelings that are usually created in their own minds. They wake up one day to a stranger and aren't committed enough to get to know the real person.

And some just say that to be cruel!

For what ever reason, it seems very sad to me for that to happen.

wow... many good answers... But I do think its mean to say that ... but understand why now ... all depends on their circumstances I guess ... and most have said at the end ... more men then women ... I have heard ... I could see the arranged marriages... and even someone marring someone for money... but even if your feelings have changed over the yrs once you where married ... just seems like revenge to me wants it is said... I would guess it leaves so many unsolved ... emotional feelings ... to have to deal with ...

I agree mystical, it does seem more like something they would say out of spite. And that would lead to difficulties in finding closure, especially for women.

I would think with some of those other loveless marriages, like the arranged ones, they would at least have respect for each other and walk away amicably.

Because from the first place it's love what they feel for each other .
"'infatuation ." they just love the idea i can **** when ever I am .. LUST .

They would at least have respect for each other and walk away amicably I would hope ...

Yes, I would hope that as well

Nice one

@piscesmoon Nice one

I think it is denial, whatever the source.
They deny what once was in the face of what really is now.

But I think it only diminishes the sayer of those words.
Not the receiver, those words alone would make it easier
to move on.

But the sayer of the words, no sympathy, it only makes
them look incompetent.

Just because it is over does NOT mean it never happened.

In this day and age especially with the internet dating /brides it could have been a marriage of convenience?

Yes I've often wondered this myself how quickly someone can turn the Taps off on a relationship... deny all emotional connection... say something like... I never loved you... or how when people break up they no longer want to associate with the other person...

I find that very mean hearted...
If I say I love someone I love them forever..
If we are no longer together.. I still want to think we can still be friends at some level...

But some people just close the emotional doors within themselves... deny ever having real feelings... for the other person...

Yes maybe it's a coping mechanism..
Or maybe it's just a sign of lack of maturity
.
And yes in some cases they probably never really loved the other person..

It is better to loved and to have lost.. then to never have loved ...at all...

I have only heard this from older people... that had been married and had children together ... that is why I think it is spiteful just like Pisces said and myself mean to say leaving a relationship with know closure ... I don't love you like I use to sure ... I don't believe we have the same kind of love for one another now that we have aged ... I could make more since of it if there was know children in the marriage ... and to say you love someone and always will ... there is a piece of your heart that holds that ... but also depends how they where each treated too ... least I think ... friends sure with some ... but not all ... some can be painful ... better to just seperate ...

agree Just because it is over does NOT mean it never happened.... but the sayer could be trying to leave that emotional baggage to hurt the other person ... and they are really being selfish to...with a low...
self esteem to say that at all ...

I think I can be denial - if you never cared for the person you never would have become involved with them in the first place. Relationships change, & I can understand how people can grow apart & fall "out of love" with someone or stop liking or loving them. But to say to someone that you never loved them is just an immature attempt to hurt the other person.