does anyone have advice for trying to date after leaving an abusive relationship? I just find it so incredibly hard to find somebody whoes genuine and that I can trust.

Dear, is it such a heartache. I know what you mean, i am in heavy heart because of my observation towards some single men's behaviour. I will encourage you to keep searching, never give up. You will definitive meet a good man some day because good people nowadays are rare. Good luck sister

This is has been and is a growing problem. you'll probably get better advice from other women but I'd like to add not to tell of previous problems earlier on with a new potential friend /partner.
Reason being is there are guy's who will pray on you seeing you as vulnerable and an easy target.
Hope you get more advice and good luck.

Good advice Mikey!

Like the others have said, it takes time to heal. Also counseling is strongly advised. Women who have been abused are more likely to enter another abusive relationship with the next person. A few years down the road you find yourself in a continual pattern of attracting abusive men in your life.

It's not your fault you got abused, however in order to break free of living the role and continual pattern of a victim, we must look inward and discover what it is about us that attracts these kind of relationships.

This takes time and finding a safe support person that you feel comfortable with, so you can work through the issues and move towards attracting healthier relationships with others.

Best regards to you and your journey towards healing and recovery.

hi g

Sorry to hear. Have you seen the movie Eat Pray Love with Actress Julia Roberts. Go have fun, pamper and love yourself first , travel and give yourself time to heal.

I would suggest if you don't trust others due to abuse that putting your contact info out there for anyone to have is not the best thing to do..

One needs to take time to explore themselves and the situations before jumping into another relationship..

Ooo I didn't see contact info txs, very good point and hope she takes notice. There is plenty of time to exchange details once the guy has been patient talking to her and earns the respect.

Physical abuse is any intentional and unwanted contact with you or something close to your body. Sometimes abusive behavior does not cause pain or even leave a bruise, but it’s still unhealthy.

A relationship can be unhealthy or abusive even without physical violence. Verbal abuse may not cause physical damage, but it does cause emotional pain and scarring. It can also lead to physical violence if the relationship continues on an unhealthy path.

If you have been sexually assaulted, first try to get to a safe place away from the attacker. You may be scared, angry and confused, but remember the abuse was in no way your fault.

Financial abuse can be very subtle. It can include telling you what you can and cannot buy or requiring you to share control of your bank accounts. At no point does someone you are dating have the right to use money or how you spend it to control you.

Digital dating abuse is the use of technologies such as texting and social networking to bully, harass, stalk or intimidate a partner. Often this behavior is a form of verbal or emotional abuse perpetrated online.

If you’re being stalked, you may be feeling stressed, vulnerable or anxious. You may also have trouble sleeping or concentrating at work or school. Remember, you are not alone. Every year in the United States, 3.4 million people are stalked and youth between the ages of 18-24 experience the highest rates. Most people assume that stalkers are strangers, but actually, three in four victims are harassed by someone they know.

Ultimately nobody else is in charge of your life. After-all, its YOUR life. If somebody has control over you it is your own decision that allows them. Sometimes it requires extreme actions to regain your own power but if you are not in control of your own life then it is not YOUR life.

Look into the qualities of healthy self-esteem. Be honest with yourself and acknowledge your feelings and emotions, then take action to make the changes you determine.

On-line is not the best place to find genuine men! Be outgoing and meet in person, faster way to see the real man!

hi

Just remember this .. that people are less likely to get abusive if they find themselves staring down the barrel of a bazooka...

I agree with Toddy -Online I think is the worst place to be after an abusive relationship. There are alot of scammers out there & your best to meet men in person so that you can get their vibe.
Sorry for you past relationship & good for you for putting yourself out there again!

That won't really matter, it's not bout the words it's about what you exude. Even if you don't tell, someone will pick up on you not feeling confident and being an easy prey. That can and will even play a role before you meet, somehow ppl will pick it up from your communication too.
If someone is totally confident again, they can easily tell someone on the first date, even the first 10 minutes, and nothing will happen. Why, because you exude confidence.
It's not in what you say, but in your energy, your body language and so on. Come to think of it, even in someone's eyes. Especially in someone's eyes.

Yes, you work on the issues first and don't date until your strong enough. A man you can trust... you have to work on trusting yourself. Trusting that you will recognize a 'bad' man when you see him and trust you are now strong enough to get up and walk away.
Once you got that trust, or a helluva lot more, you won't easily attract a-holes anymore either.
But first come to terms with what has happened. Once you have more inner strength and self-confidence you can go dating again.

And sorry to say, you may want to consider another picture. Not one that suggests you are as good as naked, that's asking for trouble. Not one that shows you looking so sad. That's also inviting the A-holes in.
Get a happier photo up and don't use looks and/or nakedness to attract men, that's asking for trouble. You want men to like you and feel attracted to you for you.

Totally disagree with this. There's thousands of great guys online, you just have to learn to communicate differently yourself so you can sort through the 'assortment' more accurately.

Meeting in real life can be very limiting as you get to meet local people only, which -depending on where you live- may not be advantageous at all.

I was thinking more about the early stages of online!
It was just my opinion, long before meeting.
Now get your cloggs on, get those sails turning and grind that flower