Is it just me who thinks it's a bit ill mannered when you're talking to someone through messages and they just log off without so much as a bye, or goodnight.

Yes and before the liberal hippys mention it I know full well that on here no one owes you anything, not even so much as a bye.

But personally I think it's so 'kin ignorant when people just disappear without so much as a kiss my a$$.

That's right Joe, rub it in!
I'm still struggling with the hello's!
I totally agree. It is rude.

I get that all the time lol I always make sure I say it before I leave

Sorry Joe, but if its happening at night, I often fall asleep before the convo is officially over

Goodness me
I hope I don't bore people to sleep lol
Maybe that's why some don't say goodnight, they fall asleep, oh dear

Blame my bed. Its way too comfy

I can understand it considering some are on phones.

I am on a PC and I usually open with a salutaion and close with a salutation.

I often use the "..." after a short reply indicating I am not finished with the discussion yet.

When someone hints at or says they are going to go, I usually bid them farewell or ask when we can do it again?

Once I say farwell, I don't continue to reply. I have no inner need to have the last word.

I don't say goodnight much.
Usually I say Sweet Dreams
or TTYL (Talk To You Later)

Yes, I'm similar. If I'm logging off I almost always say so with a friendly goodnight or words to that effect.
Maybe it's not in the internet etiquette bible and I'm just reading too much into it.

I'm the type that will tell you, Goodnight, I enjoyed it. And I will talk to you later. But I have learned after many years on the Internet not to expect it from other people. Yes, I think it's ill mannered not to let the person you are talking to know you're leaving.

And since it's mostly women that I talk to, some are the most ill mannered I've ever seen. I catch one every now and then that has manners. But the great majority, no manners at all. And it's a real turn off. A lot of people seem to think that on the Internet, no manners needed.

I've always had manners with women. I wish I could say they always have with me.

Yes there is a progression from ghosting people to now ghosting a conversation just disappear. Its easy, hiding behind a screen or phone and have no concern for others just ones own immediate needs and not a miniscule of concern for etiquette .. We are much more crass and less kind as its pervasive and pernicious...

Ah, yes, the often assumed, but never quite ironed out "rules of social intercourse."

Really, it's not a matter of what anyone is OWED, or not.

Tell you what I think, at least as far as my old-guys generation goes. Online messaging back and forth is NOT the same as a face to face chat, and it isn't even like a phone call.

It's like sending post cards back and forth. Those are the rules that apply. I know lot of people today don't even know what a postcard is, but anyway. We used to buy a card, jot down a line or two on it, and then mail it to someone. We didn't write "oh, I've got to go now" at the end of every sentence. We just wrote "I'm in Brussells" or what ever, or "don't forget to feed the cat," and then popped off to whatever we were up to. The people at the receiving end didn't have any expectation of anything remotely like a structured conversation with social niceties attached.

And now everything has changed, with the internet, and the near complete integration of communication devices in everything. Now we have to hunt for ways to have privacy at all. Conversations start and stop at random, because everyone expects at any moment, to have to do something else. texting while waiting at a stop light (for safety)? Okay, the person on the other end might not know that, and might answer you and ask a question, but you can't respond until the next stop light. So you appear to have temporarily "ghosted" them. Mail server in Botswana goes down, right after you hit send? No one knows, but the silence is deadening.

The current generation grew up with all this disjointed way of talking. It may not be as smooth as we had it in the days of polite hellos, goodbyes, chat more laters and so on, but this is the modern reality. You can fuss and complain about it, and I'll sympathize with you because I like knowning what's going on as well, but in the end, we can all either play the game as it's BEING played, or we can lose out on the potential fruits of participation.

I don't understand that ...
I even say got to go ...
when I have not even gotten past the first message ...

but agree is rude ...

Damn I'm guilty as heck.... Due to the few I carry on a chat with through e-mails it is a running conversation so we never say good night or morning ect we just pick back up on the last e-mail and go from there..

I tend to do that with those that I carry on conversations through e-mails...

It is hard to say when a conversation will end... After a certain time at night if I don't answer ya, you can bet your sweet azz I'm snoozing And will pick back up in the morning when I get up...

Exactly.
Nothing to do with etiquette.
Tis the beauty of the internet that you can chat when you are available
and no one presumes to know why when you are not :-)

Time
I believe time is a great decider in message composition.
Second to time is convenience and ease.

I personally have the time to construct a letter type composition most of the time. It is really easy for me to type my thoughts into the message. I can proof read what I wrote as if proofreading a letter.

It is really easy to not understand that someone else may not have the time or convenience that I have when messaging me. I have tried using my phone to participate in messages with others and I just can't do it well enough for my communication standards. Thus, I use my phone as a phone, period.

If I am responding to a text on my phone, I have a tendency to write complete sentences with little or no abbreviations. I dislike texting because I feel it is a poor form of communication, yet I understand that others may not feel the same. I can tolerate it but I do not prefer it.

Part of my communication style evolved from understanding the concept of forums and online bulletin boards. When you post to a topic it is like placing a posting onto a community bulletin board on a card. You post what you have to say then check back to see if there is a response. Your posting is there for all to see and may or may not get a response. You have the option of responding or not responding to any of the other postings on the board.

With messaging personally, it is accepted as both a posting and a concurrent conversation. It is expected that the conversation is continuing unless one of the participants states that it is not. If nobody says "this is the end of this conversation" we tend to expect more discussion. Its not like an internet forum post.
When you are done with the conversation it is expected to state that fact to end the conversation. Otherwise, someone is left hanging, waiting for a reply. Its like being in a discussion with someone at a party and they just turn around and walk away. People see that as rude.

double posted

If I was in a conversation with someone through messages, I would end the conversation with "ok bye now, see you in the forums" or something similar.

But if I was having a nice conversation with someone I was interested in and that someone just log off without saying goodbye for now, I would be pi$$ed too.

... and I would think that they must be in conversation with other people at the same time and said goodbye to others and missed saying goodbye to me.... or, as others said, they just fell asleep. However, if they fell asleep, how could they have logged out?

My two cents, joe

Well, You know, It really seems very simple to me. Even if it's a running conversation. Especially if it's someone you might be interested in.

For example,"Lisa, It's time for me to go to bed. 5 am comes early. You have a good night and I will talk to you tomorrow."

I will go so far as to say that once you've talked for a while and you've had a chance to get to know a little about each other's daily lives, Well then maybe you don't have to be so formal.

The odd thing is to me, people will take the time to put up the best picture(s) of themselves, that shows them in the best light possible, and then forget all about having manners.

It's annoying to me when people do this. I don't think they are purposely being ill mannered, just not treating messaging/texting as a face to face conversation.

I do consider it rude. When you are face to face, you don't just walk away from a conversation without saying "See ya later", or something that puts closure to your conversation. To just logged off without saying anything is pretty much like putting them on hold waiting for a response.

I usually will say something to the person when it happens more than once, and that usually helps.

All good points but...if it is a running conversation as I noted you never know when the other is going to e-mail you back.. At times it is anywhere from 5 min. to a few hours before I respond at times same with them .. So those conversations don't need to end and start up each day~~~~

Now if I was actually talking to someone new I was getting to know and had been texting back and forth pretty steady within a time frame then yea those I will text back letting them know I was off to bed or had something to do ect...

But as it was mentioned you would not just walk away on a face to face conversation without saying see ya by or something.. Those type of conversation are different at least then you are right there and not having to wait 5 min till when ever for a response..