Topic: Accepting Compliments From a Complete Stranger | |
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I think for me it depends on the intention behind it. Oftentimes compliments from men are not without-strings-attached. Depending on my mood, where, who, and how much time I got I can either play along with it or not.
If it is genuine, and not an attempt to get something from me, I can appreciate it. But still depends on where, who from, timing etc. Sometimes a compliment can overwhelm me, when it's about something that feels like "no big deal" to me. |
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Compliments can be complicated sometimes. I mean, really they aren't.... but the way we decide to interpret them, that's when the questioning comes in. We have a tendency to get into our own heads & then have a tough time trying to get out. When someone gives u a compliment... it's really their choice to do so - we don't have a say..regardless if it's genuine or not.
I'd like to think that most of the time I can tell if someone is being real or if they are being malicious or just plain perverted... in which there's not acknowledgement given there.... So a simple thank you is good. At the same time, like others said... taking a compliment can be tough. We may not agree or have a certain insecurity or just too in ur head... that u question it. Practicing to say thank u.. is something I still sometimes continue to do though & just remind myself - it's a good thing, it's their opinion & they are sharing it - even if I don't necessarily agree with them at that time. Thank you |
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Edited by
Piscesmoon02
on
Thu 05/11/17 05:06 PM
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I think for me it depends on the intention behind it. Oftentimes compliments from men are not without-strings-attached. Depending on my mood, where, who, and how much time I got I can either play along with it or not. If it is genuine, and not an attempt to get something from me, I can appreciate it. But still depends on where, who from, timing etc. Sometimes a compliment can overwhelm me, when it's about something that feels like "no big deal" to me. Thanks Crystal, and I think when you are face to face it's a lot easier to gauge the intention behind it. It would be really difficult to do that with someone online without the cues from body language. Thanks again for sharing |
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Compliments can be complicated sometimes. I mean, really they aren't.... but the way we decide to interpret them, that's when the questioning comes in. We have a tendency to get into our own heads & then have a tough time trying to get out. When someone gives u a compliment... it's really their choice to do so - we don't have a say..regardless if it's genuine or not. I'd like to think that most of the time I can tell if someone is being real or if they are being malicious or just plain perverted... in which there's not acknowledgement given there.... So a simple thank you is good. At the same time, like others said... taking a compliment can be tough. We may not agree or have a certain insecurity or just too in ur head... that u question it. Practicing to say thank u.. is something I still sometimes continue to do though & just remind myself - it's a good thing, it's their opinion & they are sharing it - even if I don't necessarily agree with them at that time. Thank you Thank you why4not for your comments. I agree, the complication is more in how we as individuals interpret them and what our comfort level in receiving them. |
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Kollektivet Complements music video on YouTube should sum this up pretty good for me
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Kollektivet Complements music video on YouTube should sum this up pretty good for me I will check it out, thanks ome for commenting. |
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I was recently asked if I was good at accepting compliments from a complete stranger. I responded with, "It depends on the compliment". I'm referring to compliments from the opposite sex, as the complete stranger. A compliment is a compliment, but when it's someone you just met, some can make you uncomfortable, while others are more welcome. If someone were to say, "You have such a touching and tender smile", would that be more welcomed than if they were to say, "You have such a touching and tender smile I have ever come across"? Or would neither be welcomed from someone you don't know? For me the first would be okay, but the "I have ever come across" is uncomfortable. So, how good are you at accepting compliments from a stranger of the opposite sex? And how do you handle it when someone gives you a compliment? And what kind of compliments do you feel are acceptable from a complete stranger? Hi pisces, very interesting topic. I would say that I handle compliments from the opposite sex pretty well. Yesterday on my way out, the elevator opened and there stood a guy I knew from a friend so I smiled and said hi. He blurted out "omg you are so beautiful it hurts!" That made me laugh out loud and I could not stop laughing. And before I could reach the door he yelled clutching his chest "seriously, you are so beautiful it hurts!" and I laughed even more. I left the building laughing. I knew he very just showing off and being funny but his over-the-top compliment made my day. Now, if a stranger said that to me on the street, I will also laugh out loud and say thank you because it is funny. On a first meet, a guy told me I looked incredible twice within the first five minutes. Now, that made me a little uncomfortable because I knew I didn't look incredible and he probably just trying to score brownie points. On the internet, I don't take compliments seriously specially when they say "you look good for your age." That usually pi$$ed me off. In your example... If someone were to say, "You have such a touching and tender smile", would that be more welcomed than if they were to say, "You have such a touching and tender smile I have ever come across"? Both are acceptable to me... even if the second one is a tad over-the-top. I would just think that he is trying to impress me and maybe... just maybe... I really have a touching and tender smile lol Now, if a stranger say to me "You are sexy." ... that will give me the jeebies and might even make me puke. Take care my dear friend |
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Edited by
TMommy
on
Thu 05/11/17 08:17 PM
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actually ...I detest them
if it someone online then " hey you have a pretty smile, eyes, nice hair" almost always used as an opener followed quickly by a proposition of some sort |
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I don't take compliments well......I do say thank you.....but I know they are just being nice and most likely don't mean it, or they have an ulterior motive.
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Edited by
Piscesmoon02
on
Fri 05/12/17 03:50 AM
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I was recently asked if I was good at accepting compliments from a complete stranger. I responded with, "It depends on the compliment". I'm referring to compliments from the opposite sex, as the complete stranger. A compliment is a compliment, but when it's someone you just met, some can make you uncomfortable, while others are more welcome. If someone were to say, "You have such a touching and tender smile", would that be more welcomed than if they were to say, "You have such a touching and tender smile I have ever come across"? Or would neither be welcomed from someone you don't know? For me the first would be okay, but the "I have ever come across" is uncomfortable. So, how good are you at accepting compliments from a stranger of the opposite sex? And how do you handle it when someone gives you a compliment? And what kind of compliments do you feel are acceptable from a complete stranger? Hi pisces, very interesting topic. I would say that I handle compliments from the opposite sex pretty well. Yesterday on my way out, the elevator opened and there stood a guy I knew from a friend so I smiled and said hi. He blurted out "omg you are so beautiful it hurts!" That made me laugh out loud and I could not stop laughing. And before I could reach the door he yelled clutching his chest "seriously, you are so beautiful it hurts!" and I laughed even more. I left the building laughing. I knew he very just showing off and being funny but his over-the-top compliment made my day. Now, if a stranger said that to me on the street, I will also laugh out loud and say thank you because it is funny. On a first meet, a guy told me I looked incredible twice within the first five minutes. Now, that made me a little uncomfortable because I knew I didn't look incredible and he probably just trying to score brownie points. On the internet, I don't take compliments seriously specially when they say "you look good for your age." That usually pi$$ed me off. In your example... If someone were to say, "You have such a touching and tender smile", would that be more welcomed than if they were to say, "You have such a touching and tender smile I have ever come across"? Both are acceptable to me... even if the second one is a tad over-the-top. I would just think that he is trying to impress me and maybe... just maybe... I really have a touching and tender smile lol Now, if a stranger say to me "You are sexy." ... that will give me the jeebies and might even make me puke. Take care my dear friend Hi rosie, that's cool how you handle them and very helpful, thanks. I guess I need to lighten up a bit and even find humor in some of the ones from strangers. With my example, I was given the second one, after I was asked if I was good at accepting compliments. Well I completely botched it up, wasn't good at all . I told him that if he left out the "I have ever come across" part, it would have been more welcomed That prompted me to start this thread, I have much to learn Thank you my dear friend for sharing |
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Edited by
Piscesmoon02
on
Fri 05/12/17 04:03 AM
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Amazing, Just amazing! You once again post a topic that is interesting and worthy of introspective. Delving deep into what makes us, us. Now I gotta look at a different aspect of myself, one I seldom considered as a focus. For a long time I felt I wasn't worthy of praise. I believe (and been told) children of alcoholics often over-do everything searching for recognition. I have always been an over-achiever (as evident by my often long posts) but I couldn't take compliments well. I always felt I could have done it better or done more. My over-achievements felt incomplete to me. I suffered from extreme low self-esteem. I used to give compliments to people as a ploy. Had a really big-headed boss once. He was hostile, loud and wrong a lot. I learned that if I went to his office as soon as I got to the shop and pumped him with shallow compliments he was more tolerable. I would pump his head so full of compliments his ears scuffed the door frame when he walked thru it. Oh Great One! to his face, Big-Head Ed when he wasn't around. For years I manipulated the people around me this way. I was constantly told how likeable and easy-going I was. Compliments towards me felt as if I was being set up for something. I often wondered what they wanted from me. Even official awards and ceremonious merits made me feel like I was being played. Why should I get special recognition for doing the right thing or doing my job? When I started examining myself honestly and started removing my delusions I realized that I have no need for manipulation of others. I still give compliments but only when I truly feel they deserve it. I still have some issue with accepting mundane compliments but I am starting to realize that my normal is not common. I graciously accept the compliment and move about normally. I still see times when someone is trying to manipulate me with compliments and just shrug it off. I control my actions. If I see a woman that is exceptionally beautiful to me I will tell her she is pretty. When I meet someone that is intellectually articulate I often tell them I value their conversation. When my grandson brings me a painting I compliment him on the parts that I like but hold off on the criticism. The correct compliment can enhance behavior but a incorrect one can cause undesirable behavior. I'm not one to pump you full of lies so you feel good about yourself. Not anymore. If I compliment you, I really mean it. Wow Tom, I can really identify with so much of what you said. I too am a child of alcoholics, only I tended to be more the under achiever, not living up to my true potential. And years ago I used compliments the same way. I suppose that's why I sometimes feel like they are trying to to get something from me, because I had done that in the past. Today I only give them if I mean it. Thank you Tom for all that you shared. And thank you for the compliment. |
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actually ...I detest them if it someone online then " hey you have a pretty smile, eyes, nice hair" almost always used as an opener followed quickly by a proposition of some sort Thanks TMommy for sharing I am more suspicious of those types as well. |
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Edited by
Piscesmoon02
on
Fri 05/12/17 04:13 AM
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I don't take compliments well......I do say thank you.....but I know they are just being nice and most likely don't mean it, or they have an ulterior motive. Thank you Pink, I have felt that way, I'm working on that though because I think some are genuine. |
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Sometimes, a compliment is just that; a compliment.
Generally a simple thank you will let you know the motivation, based on a follow up from that person; or not. Just saying. |
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In my opinion a complement can mean two things... Either genuine or there's an ulterior motive behind. Why did I say that? Giving a scenario this morning, i received two messages from two guys, one complemented and just wanted to be friends whereas the other said Woow you sexy. Indeed I was grateful and said THANK YOU only for him to start being nasty with me it really got me pissed and had to tell him not to contact me again. In this context it's either they complement you to make you realise how they feel about you at the time or just because they want to take advantage of you being nice....
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I'd have a heart attack. All I ever get is "hi" sometimes they'll add an "x", that's it!
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The nicest compliment online was from a person a good distance who said that
My profile kept coming up in her search. In spite of the distance, she was impressed, and found me to be attractive and simple. I sent a thank you. Hope that she didn't mean msimpleminded. A few weeks ago, I was on the dance floor at a salsa club with a 30 something year old. After the dance, she said that she liked my energy. Easy answer. Thank you, I had a great dance partner. Easy. Sometimes, a compliment is just that; a compliment |
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Sometimes, a compliment is just that; a compliment. Generally a simple thank you will let you know the motivation, based on a follow up from that person; or not. Just saying. Thank you Salsa for your comments |
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In my opinion a complement can mean two things... Either genuine or there's an ulterior motive behind. Why did I say that? Giving a scenario this morning, i received two messages from two guys, one complemented and just wanted to be friends whereas the other said Woow you sexy. Indeed I was grateful and said THANK YOU only for him to start being nasty with me it really got me pissed and had to tell him not to contact me again. In this context it's either they complement you to make you realise how they feel about you at the time or just because they want to take advantage of you being nice.... Thank you evan, if you haven't blocked the one who got nasty, it might be a good idea. Thanks again for sharing |
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Edited by
Piscesmoon02
on
Fri 05/12/17 07:06 PM
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I'd have a heart attack. All I ever get is "hi" sometimes they'll add an "x", that's it! Aww funky, if it will make you feel better, I'll send you a compliment That is interesting though. I'm not that good at giving compliments, especially to men I don't know. So I wonder if men are more likely to give compliments to women who are complete strangers, than women would to men who are a complete stranger. Thanks funky for commenting |
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