Well, its not about me anymore so here is a different question

How would you react if your son or daughter brought home a partner you knew was less desirable in you family or community standing.

Would you feel ashamed, more for your self and your reputation and what people would think or react, complying to those pressures and expectations.

Or would you support and embrace your sons, daughters decisons saying their happiness and decision was more important to you than anything else, even if at some level in your self even, you dissaproved.

I believe ...I have done my best to love and
stand by my daughter ... and abide by her own wishes ...

but I have heard some real horror stories about mom and daughters fights ... that I would have not put up with ... so your going to really have to know what the circumstances are... to decide ... so many different kinds of mom and daughter relationships out there...

When my kids were under 18 I only guided them on what to look for within a partner....

I never or would ever tell them who to choose.. Nor would I ever feel ashamed of one of my kids for whom they choose to date...

My son brought home a few that I was like REALLY but still let him do his thing... it was his choice in life not mine who they are with...

I will always stand behind my kids on any choices they make good or bad... you learn and move on..

One does not learn if someone else is making the choices for them..

it really depends upon what 'less desirable' means,,,

I do not care so much about the community values as I do with my family's so I do not feel one way or another where that is concern

however, I do have certain family values and values shared with family as to how people are to behave and conduct themselves,,,

I have never been an 'I am happy if you are happy' parent, so there is much more to my feelings than that,,,,our kids can make choices that from our own experience we know will not end well for them or are not the best path and even if it makes them 'happy' in the moment,, it doesn't mean we will just be happy that they are happy.

I have family who is homosexual, I do not approve of the lifestyle, but I would not be 'ashamed' of it, I may just be 'embarrased' though by certain types of behaviors,, which my family does not engage in thankfully except in privacy,,,


I treat people not based upon their lifestyle choices ,but based upon their behaviors and how they treat others,,,,so I can disapprove of one thing about someone without feeling ashamed or embarassed about them altogether,,,because often there are many more wonderful things to a person beyond those things we may disapprove of

we adapt our behavior to our surroundings when we are considerate of others, and as long as the people in my childrens lives are considerate of our values around us,,, I have no issue

I've got this to come yet with my daughter.

He better have a good job
He better not have a criminal record
He best have good references, preferably from a priest
He best be right handed, never trust a lefty
He best look presentable and well kept
He best have a nice voice, don't want no commoners near my daughter
His parents must be professionals
If he has pets he better look after them
He better call me Mr, don't want to be friendly with him or be on first name terms

Grrrr there's loads more but that's just off the top of my head

I went thru this very same thing when my son introduced us to the women he was very serious about. Mary and Alice.. Siamese twins.

As one can imagine we were surprised.. actually shocked.. I didn't know what head to concentrate on when talking to them.. I tried to explain to our son that the dental and eyeglass bills would be double, not to mention the extra mouth the feed.. to no avail


It was actually his insurance company Aetna who put the stop to it by claiming only one head per person.