Now what I think I am asking, Am I being to harsh. Will a lie can stop a relationship?. I step back and wonder.

Love, Trust and Lies. How they are measure and level relationships.

Ask yourself, will you be happy with her lies? If the answer is no, move on! Otherwise, stop being querulous , because that's the happiness you " enjoy "!

you cannot make someone be the person you would like for them to be
no matter how much you love them


it is their choice

you may not like their answer

One laugh in the middle of a struggle
A diamond at the bottom of a puddle
Did you ever stare at the moon
til you saw double?
I hear you walk away from trouble

will you stop eating beans even if its your fave just because it was served at restaurant who doesnt know how to cook it properly? will you stop dancing even if you enjoy doing it just because one clueless person stepped on your toes? will you stop listening to a song even though it gives you unmeasurable joy just because someone sang it off key?

the heart knows what it wants

For myself a liar would be something that would make me take a step backward and reevaluate things.

and the heart also accepts defeat and moves on learning from what has been and could be still

Thought comes to mind when I see someone becrying another person's honesty especially when I see it become habitual is what are they they doing to create such deceptive relationships.

People tend to act on things in rather fluid ways. If you are so ridge on what you expect them to do then you will "catch" them getting off track and lying rather than explaining/justifying every deviation. Especially if your expectations are so oppressive or unrealistic that they are impossible to follow.

I used to use the household and car allowance as an examples of teaching mates to lie to each other. If gas or grocery prices go up or down there are shortages or overages. Do each partner report that or is that just free money to spend on self or what too many spouses expect but don't budget either those happy surprises such as gifts. If accountability is so tight that it becomes dictatorial I can guarantee rebellion will occur and "fudgeing" will happen.

Jealousy is one of the cruelest of tyrants to live under. And will poison even the truest of affections.

yes certainly the relationship built up with love and trust of there were no such called love there will be no trust ,better then staying there are many other shiny white shoe lol!!

There are character and relationship flaws that can be worked on, and there are some that cant.

I don't think dishonesty is something a person can work on.

A person is honest or they are not. If they are not, its like building a life on quick sand.

Its possible , but not the smartest thing to do

**********************************************

I hate to sound like I'm being cold but keep it moving. For the mere fact you're thinking of giving her a second chance for deceiving you for so long kind of worries me.

I have been married to a man for 15 years we have one twelve year old little boy together.He has lied and cheated the whole time .And everytime I would catch him ,he would be so sorry.We are now getting Divorced .I had to forgive him for everything for me to move on.But I will never ever forget ,it was the worst pain I have ever felt.But it has made me strong,and I am moving forward to a better life.

nice dear

I understand you and feel for you, hope you the best. The pain is unique, lost of trust worst. There is always hope of a better life.

Thanks to all that post, all this comments do help me understand and to analyze the the concept.