no1
pls read the tread :)

sorry, why i wrote that is;
i made a laughter at the beginning
and then i read the rest
and felt guilty and sorry.

..lol..all good.. just between you and me I don't think her husband died while making love... he probably killed over from carrying all the shoeboxes from the store

you
you!....
ahah
you are soo funny :)

The word Recent, yes.
The word Widowed, no.

A loss like that takes time to adjust.

There are 5 stages of grief.
http://psychcentral.com/lib/the-5-stages-of-loss-and-grief/

Since every person is unique and deals with grief in different ways you can be sure that there is never a set time frame.

1. Denial & Isolation
Its probable you have already experienced the worst of stage one. Depending on how 'Recent' (to you) there could be relapses. Self-induced isolation might make it difficult for a bonding to occur. Denial could get in the way of recognizing the new unique relationship as comparisons are made.

2. Anger
The anger of loss could affect the quality of a new relationship. Grief affects emotional stability. Anger, a powerful emotion, could bleed into the new experiences you and your new partner might be having. A short-temper is hard to accommodate.

3. Bargaining
A bad case of the "If Only's" Desperately seeking justification outside of the reality. Most people want someone that is in the here and now, with them.

4. Depression
A sadness that permeates the perception of life. Lots of crying and inactivity. Attempts by your new partner to cheer you fail over and over. They may feel helpless and stop responding.

5. Acceptance
In this final stage of mourning you can talk about your lost love one without overwhelming emotional struggles. You are not seeking the essence of them in your new partner. There are no comparisons made or implied when you are with them. While your lost loved one is still an important part of your life you can readily accept another for who they are themselves.
If you are in this stage or beyond, congratulations!

Find yourself
Love yourself
Be yourself

Someone will notice.
Good Luck!

I've been a widow for 8 months... same as you...took care of ill husband for years/no sex...yadda yadda yadda....We were marred 34 years..
I joined this site to see what was in the dating pool ... just looking and yes, it is hard to make the move to know strangers...
I've ended up seeing an old boyfriend by way of a chance meeting...
Keep scrolling and looking...something will come your way
Stay safe

If a man is insecure enough to be turned off by your widowhood, then it's really his loss. ETA: Although I do agree with Tom about the word recent.

Honestly, I have no idea if you're real or not. I do know I've seen you around the past couple of days seeming to be very impatient. Patience, cautiousness, and good judgement are necessary in this process. You're very attractive and meeting men should really not be a problem. Let the process play itself out. Get to know people. Make decisions based on knowledge, feelings, and instincts. That's all I got.

You kill me sometimes, no1phD... lol...

If this person with turned off, then you let go if causing them problems. You will learn to filter people faster until right ones give you control and make things easy for you.

Because the only decision not making one,

You are the age I was when widowed. I would say it gets easier and people have less hangups about it the more time passes but usually just isn't so.

I would stick with the truth but I think you draw a big red target on your back putting your business out there on line.

Probably better off talking to a professional or putting it in a private journal. Doesn't hurt to take advantage of the free aftercare available through hospice and any of the numerous well written books on the subjects.

Or give yourself a little more time before you go out as walking wounded.
That pretty much guarantee s you will do something you will regret. Not the least being hurting someone else and having that to feel lousy about.

I get the concept of feeling like you have been punished long enough without a lover of your own but that whole thing about your prime time is a myth. It is still all good when ever if you want it to be. My personal experience is it is a lot better actually later.
My sympathy and God's speed to what I hope will be a good future for you also.

hi

sorry for your loss Snoopinaround.

I think there's a lot of guys that would to get a date with you.

Read what she posted:


I had to tube feed him for a year and a half.. sex was the last thing on my mind.

I had to tube feed him for a year and a half.. sex was the last thing on my mind.

No.. he tried to talk me into it that and that was my biggest fear. He said "but honey, what a way to go!!" I said "NOT FOR ME IT'S NOT!" But it was sweet in a weird way.

Lol. Thank you dear:)

Thank you! And someone with experience. I'm so sorry for your loss. It does feel like I'll never fall in love again. Did you remarry? He just took such wonderful care of me. Of course I too took wonderful care of him when the time came.. I JUST learned of this site, I've been using match. Which there is a way better choice of quality men overall. But I like this forum thing. Otherwise I never would have spoke or heard from any of you. Thanks again..

Thank you too. This is better than all those widow forums. They often don't wanna change or progress they want to stay sad. I'm not a sad person. I don't like to be sad. Hope you're doing great now btw!

Recent means almost one year. But before his passing a grieved HARD almost a year. That was much tougher than him actually passing. I knew then he no longer hurt.