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Topic: Why Is It So Hard...
no photo
Tue 11/20/07 09:00 AM

Its not that I havent accepted their flaws, its that they have treated me like I was trash. They treated me like I meant nothing! Thats not fun!


I know.. I've been there. I survived it. I'm over it.

The fact is.. there was something about them that attracted me in the first place. I didn't walk into it with blinders on. Perhaps my expectations were different then theirs.. in that, we were incompatible. Nothing to do with if they were inherently bad... Just my perception of it.

yummyishoney's photo
Tue 11/20/07 09:22 AM
I wonder if the nice guys are either too overly shy to approach a woman and sort of sit in the shadows.. and you never know if they are gay, unavailable or what...

or

they don't come out in the real world...

Come out and play, mr nice guys... Ill be good, or try to be.

Goofball73's photo
Tue 11/20/07 09:38 AM

Goofball... its not that i want a "bad boy" the nice guys that i have met, are like the second scenario you described...into bad girls. Its not that i dont want a nice guy or that Im attracted to bad boys, its that the nice guys dont want me...
Which is why its so frustrating! Im not a bad person. Im one of the nice girls who finish last. Its NOT fun


I got ya. And, I hope my post did not come off as "mean" or anything. I just grow tired of the question. I mean, I know how you feel. We all want to find someone who is good for us. In fact, we want someone who is "almost perfect" for us. I say "almost perfect" because I do not believe in perfection. I do believe you can almost reach it and can find someone who is close enough to it and that fits with you...ya know, the two of you just go together.

I believe you are a nice girl. I do. And, I wasn't trying to insinuate that you were just into bad boys. If I did, I apologize. I do find it hard to believe that some nice guys don't want to be with you. I think maybe they are scared to say it to you. We can get like that, lol. It is a curse.:wink:

txgal89's photo
Tue 11/20/07 09:40 AM
i must say, i didnt like your first comment but the second one was better lol

no photo
Tue 11/20/07 09:44 AM
maybe youre not ready for a nice guy....my friend told me this once......because I too seemed to be attracted to only ppl that were bad....

And you could be addicted to chaos......subconsciously...

Goofball73's photo
Tue 11/20/07 09:46 AM

i must say, i didnt like your first comment but the second one was better lol


Fair enough. I didn't have my cereal before the first comments, so I blame it on that.laugh laugh


TheLonelyWalker's photo
Tue 11/20/07 12:10 PM
it works both way
men and women can be jerk.
it's just a matter of each to be wise enough, for not to fall for pretty and empty words.

reji_vin's photo
Tue 11/20/07 02:13 PM
txgal89, i am from a different country but i guess the mystery of relationships is universal.

one of my happily married friends told me, during the dating stage we all chase the hot looking, popular chaps/women.... many times the real nice chaps (she calls them the keepers)just stay back from the crowd. we need to make that bit effort to reach out to them rather than looking around at all the superficial gloss.

its all a question of trade offs... the hot ones know that there is always somebody else out there and thats part of the reason they take u for granted. the not so hot one that u discovered thinks on the lines that they might not have another great person as u...selfish as it is but we all think in terms of "whats in it for me ?" u cant get everything (some do, but seriously what are the odds...)

Personally hot woman vs average but committed woman , i will go for the latter..... (maybe its just a cultural thing)

coco56's photo
Tue 11/20/07 03:17 PM
i found a really nice man bigsmile

thunderbear1967's photo
Fri 11/23/07 12:59 PM
good for you coco. Am happy for you.



For sale one Good Guy that looks like a bad boy
Make Offer

geektothetenth's photo
Fri 11/23/07 01:14 PM

I wonder if the nice guys are either too overly shy to approach a woman and sort of sit in the shadows.. and you never know if they are gay, unavailable or what...

or

they don't come out in the real world...

Come out and play, mr nice guys... Ill be good, or try to be.


You're onto something there. We sit in the shadows and watch as Mr. 6ft4 I look like some freakin Aryan supersoldier cyborg gets fawned on by all the women. That guy was probably a nice guy when he was little but somewhere along the line all the attention went to his head and he realized he didn't have to be a nice person to attract women and sleep with them.

A lot of us nice guys are out there in the real world, but we need to just grow a sac and approach women more often. But we don't want to look like playas and if we start approaching women a lot...that's what we end up looking like.

ZacharyRyan's photo
Fri 11/23/07 01:21 PM

I wonder if the nice guys are either too overly shy to approach a woman and sort of sit in the shadows.. and you never know if they are gay, unavailable or what...

or

they don't come out in the real world...

Come out and play, mr nice guys... Ill be good, or try to be.


I think we're shy .... and many lack the confidence to approach women. This is something I'm working on overcoming myself ... today I managed to call a girl and ask her to dinner tomorrow night.... it took me about an hour to make the call just because it is natural to fear rejection. This is why girls should ask out guys!

atomicd's photo
Fri 11/23/07 01:22 PM

I wonder if the nice guys are either too overly shy to approach a woman and sort of sit in the shadows.. and you never know if they are gay, unavailable or what...

or

they don't come out in the real world...

Come out and play, mr nice guys... Ill be good, or try to be.


i do not think i am shy nor aggressive when it comes to woman, if i was in a bar and saw someone i was interested in i probably wouldn't say anything. not cause i am shy just got so tired of the dating game

thunderbear1967's photo
Fri 11/23/07 03:52 PM
hey not fair i'm 6'4 and i dont just go up an fondle women or any of that, between the bad boy with tattoos and the 6'4 comment I dont think many people are doing research. Just cause im tall, have tattoos and Harleys, I'm still a nice guy.

oldsage's photo
Fri 11/23/07 04:45 PM
"Why is it so HARD?"
That's what she asked.
laugh laugh laugh

txgal89's photo
Mon 11/26/07 08:39 PM

"Why is it so HARD?"
That's what she asked.
laugh laugh laugh

thats real mature

no photo
Mon 11/26/07 09:00 PM
its so hard for a woman to find a nice guy like gypsy said you not ready. read what i said before and tell me if it relate to you.

andrewzooms's photo
Mon 11/26/07 09:02 PM
Go out with the shy ones i suggest.

RICKG1961's photo
Mon 11/26/07 09:09 PM

And I am. I just want a real relationship. I have had 3 "boyfriends" but never been on a date. I'm tired of all my friends having relationships, I want one too.
give it some time you got lot's of it
don't worry about your friend's you will fine
one when the time is right just enjoy life don't rush it...

no photo
Mon 11/26/07 09:24 PM
so. nice guys dont want you.. and once more its no such thing as a bad guy...

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